What Was Belicek Hiding?

Quite a controversy arose at our local watering hole in Bellevue Washington, where we were ghettoized for a Sunday afternoon due to the TV scheduling gremlins.

Observing Coach William Belicek’s interesting wardrobe choice of a burqa, we were about evenly split between those who believe that a burqa is appropriate attire for a male and those who are sure that Coach Billie was recently betrothed.

Assuming that the latter are correct I have a number of queries, which perhaps you can resolve: First, will Coach Billie be required to walk behind his mate? Second, will Coach Billie no longer be able to be in the presence of single men without a male member of his new husband’s family present? Will Coach Billie have a tabouli recipe to die for? Will praying five times a day limit his film study in the future? And what about that prayer rug? Finally, will fingering prayer beads under his burqa constitute an unfair advantage which should be investigated by the league front office or perhaps Arlen Specter?