Homer's Epic: Roethlisberger

Big Ben. Who, was originally called Big Ben at birth when he was born with a 14 inch Dick. He grew into a gentle 1 year old baby, and while he was still growing his hair, took the name Ron Jeremy to the porn industry.  After the age of 3 however, none of the female "actors" could take his massive junk, so he moved on to bigger and better things.  This is when he picked up football.  He had to take up all that mojo in something, so he became a quarterback.  Of course by age 7, he became supreme ruler of the football field and was swiftly promoted to God-King of Earth.  After centuries of peace and lust, he stepped down from his throne to pick up the game he loved most in the only city that was worthy of him: Heaven on Earth...Pittsburgh, PA.  Our story is still unfinished, but I can only imagine how big his "Big Ben" is now, but the only people who can take its massive girth are Goddesses on Mount Olympus, and they wont return my calls. See Zeus, this is what you get when you challenge Jesus to a cock fight…

Annnyywho. Go Steelers!