Please donate to the Steeler referee payoff fund

I admit it - I've been paying off the refs so that the Steelers will win. First off, I'd like to apologize to every NFL fan of any team that has played the Steelers for the last 30 or so years. Sadly, the truth is, I can't! I love the Steelers SO MUCH that I refuse to stop, and now I'd like to offer other Steelers fans the opportunity to donate to this worthy cause!

That's right, Steelers fans - you too can have a piece of the action, so the next time that opposing player gets flagged for "tripping" or "pass interference" you can say, "I helped the Steelers win today!" It's SUCH a worthy cause, and let's face it, it's funny to see those pathetic little souls, the fans of other teams, go on every online sports forum and whine about how the refs stole the game yet again for the Steelers. Because, let's face it, the Steelers really aren't one of the class organizations in the NFL...what a silly notion that is. It really all comes down to an elaborate scheme involving the referees getting paid to make sure the Steelers win just enough games to make the playoffs most years (believe me, I'm in the refs ears about that - I really thought I was paying for the Steelers to win the Super Bowl every year. Apparently they think that would look suspicious). Continually fielding a team that is highly competitive, plays tough every week and works hard throughout the season to be a quality franchise has nothing to do with it. Yep, it's really just the refs getting paid off.

So please donate today and make sure the NFL goes into absolute decline because no team ever beats the Steelers again. That's the goal, right? It's a perfect plan to ensure that those of us, the fans of the greatest football franchise there ever was, can get what we want: the credibility of the NFL down the tubes, and Pittsburgh with one for the other thumb, all the other fingers, the toes, nipples, ear lobes and whatever other appendage you can think of that might look good with a ring on it. Seriously, friends, think of the children!

And to the fans of the other teams: please, please keep complaining about it! You have no idea how much easier your team is to beat if they focus on the refs rather than their own effort on the field.