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Steelers are Roger Goodell's "Get Well Card".



It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Amazing year in the city of Pitts.  How can a team look so consistently good for weeks then disappear?  This fall from grace rivals the Marshall football team in the early 70's, but at least they had an excuse.  The men of Aluminum teased the locals with an overtime victory in week one over Tennesee, but further analysis shows that was a squeaker victory over a team that would start 0-6.  We should have seen the writing on the wall when Jay Cutlerbeat them in week 2.  But most thought Chicago would be a good team this year, but 5-7 says it ain't so.  After the divisional loss to Cincinnati, the ghosts of Jack Lambert & Franco Harris took over, winning 5 straight over the likes of Minnesota, San Diego, & Denver (all likely playoff teams).  But just when you thought it was safe to ride your Harley w/o a helmet again, Steeler Immortality was brought back to earth like the Hindenburg with a fiery crash against the Bengals.  That is when the ghosts of Mark Malone & Tim Worley took over, driving the Tin Curtain to 4 more losses.  3 of those body blows were delivered by KC (w/o Len Dawson), Oakland (no sign of Ken Stabler), and Cleveland (Brady Quinn?!?).  Those three teams combine for a record of 6-28, that is of course taking out the 3-0 record they hold over Pittsburgh (that would be statistically irresponsible to include numbers that would skew my point).  That is a .176 winning percentage!  In other words, the black & gold has lost 3 straight to teams under the Mendoza line.  While that is something to strive for in the Pirates organization, that is unheard of in Steelerville.  But these are different times, my friends.  While sleeping off the Super Bowl hangover, the ghost (another apparition?? c'mon!) of Leon has crept into the souls of the former Heinz Heroes.  You remember Leon-- the Bud Light guy who fumbled 4 times, but chastised his team for not being there to recover them.  Leon has manifested himself through comments from team leaders Hines Ward& Big Ben (actually the comments were from Ben's attorneys since the case is still pending).  But what to do now?  Keep playing Ike & Tina Taylor in the defensive backfield?  Have RashMen & Free Willie Parker conduct a dance-off to see who should get the carries?    Put in a spread offense with 6 wide-outs (if the Brownscan sack the Roethlisberger 8 times with five OL, subbing a receiver for a guard can't be much worse).  Who knows.  Perhaps it is time to spend that extra money and get the organization something that has been missing for years; a decal for the other side of the helmet.

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