Steelers To Lose Super Bowl Trophies

by Rexx on Mar 25, 2009 1:07 PM EDT

Updated: March 32, 2009

Pittsburgh, PA

The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six titles, will soon be losing half of those trophies. After a meeting between NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell and President Barack Hussain Obama, Obama decided to redistribute half of their Steeler Super Bowl victories and trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.tradition in the wake of these difficult times." Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, who are a successful NFL team, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not successful or have not been as successful as the Steelers.

"The Detroit Loins are just as much a part of the same fiber of the NFL as the Steelers and they should, no rather will, be

The Pittsburgh Steelers, who by virtue of hard work, excellent team play, stellar draft choices, responsible investing of free agents, careful hiring of coaches and excellent community service and commitment to their fans, has prospered

entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well." Obama explains in his plan that he has imposed on Goodell and the NFL.greatly during the past 30 years and have won six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Obama’s plan calls for the Pittsburgh Steelers to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama went on to further proclaim, "In these difficult times we are all in this to work together. We must reclaim the NFL Championship Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan."

"My plan will not affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league." Obama assures. That’s over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL that will not have to worry about losing any Super Bowl Trophies. "The worst teams in the NFL and the teams that can’t

The Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Through no fault of their own incompetence, the Lions could not manage a victory all season and this trophy will help ease the pain of their lack of performance and give them hope once again.

seem to get a break and win a championship will no longer have to worry about going without a title." Obama promises. "We are a country and league of hope. We all need to make a change. It does not matter the color of the teams uniforms, the personal decisions that the teams make or their performance but rather if they are a member of this great American league."

The redistribution of Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steeler’s division rival the

Finally, one of the Steeler’s two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys since the league needs to provide hope in the face of difficulty and provide hope in the face of uncertainty. This is a heavy burden for the Steelers but together we can all prosper.

All hope is not lost for Pittsburgh fans, Barack Obama has another plan in place. Obama has meet with MLB and commissioner Bud Selig on a similar plan. The New York Yankees will redistribute two of their world series trophies to the Pittsburgh Pirates as a supplement to their losing 16 straight seasons and counting. This plan will help stimulate the Pirates and enable them to regain the American Dream. Obama will be meeting with the NHL and Michael Phelps in the upcoming weeks as this issue is high on his agenda for "Hope and Change."

Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals who also have fallen on hard times have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world as they can now celebrate.

"We live everyday in the country that invented the Super Bowl." said Obama "We are not about to lose this Great American

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Bravo, Rexx

No seriously, well done satire. I assume you’re also a Republican?

by Tizoc on Mar 25, 2009 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

He cant be the only republican that live in maryland live on the eastern shore.

by archon095 on Mar 25, 2009 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions

I loved this, and yes, I'm a republican.

"Damnit mom! You almost ran over Greg Lloyd!"

at an autograph signing back in 95. He walked out in front of our minivan, and my mom almost hit him. He apologized.

by PA ARMY OFFICER on Mar 25, 2009 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions

+1

by Romain El 82 on Mar 25, 2009 9:01 PM EDT up reply actions

This sounds like something the Onion would report.

by archon095 on Mar 25, 2009 1:15 PM EDT reply actions

Actually,...

….it was emailed to me by a “friend” and I just copied it here and also on Baltimore Beatdown. Have to see the humor in it, can’t you, despite the rivalry?

Rexx

by Rexx on Mar 25, 2009 1:27 PM EDT reply actions

Not too steal your thunder rexx...

But I don’t think Rexx wrote this; it is one of those pesky viral email pieces that I can’t find a link to the original author…Good Stuff though for bringing it over to us Rexx.

My one contention with the fake news is they have the Steeler giving back one of the Super Bowl trophies to the Cowboys, but the Cowboys beat the Steelers once too so that would actually give them two trophies in head to head match-ups in this fake story…just nit picky but their could have been a better joke made.

I'll drink your Milkshake, I'll drink it up!

by Frank Mineo (DYMS) on Mar 25, 2009 1:28 PM EDT reply actions

Hilarious.

I love it. bravo Rexx. Very funny.

"Whaddya' mean all the beer is gone..?

by OhioYinzer on Mar 25, 2009 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

Politics huh

What’s one reason I love football season? I’m to busy making wings and buying beer in the morning to watch Meet the Press on Sundays. (pacific time games start at 10am)

by 40s on Mar 25, 2009 2:22 PM EDT reply actions

incredibly funny.[/sarcasm]

charity standing orders

by BadMaafala on Mar 25, 2009 2:39 PM EDT reply actions

I'll hold back my political beliefs

As to not spur an unnecessary debate. Funny stuff. A reach, but funny.

by NYSteelersFan4 on Mar 25, 2009 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

This satire

I heard that something like this was on the blog: One for the Other Thumb. Not sure if that is the original author, though.

by WolfpackSteelersFan on Mar 25, 2009 5:15 PM EDT reply actions

Love it! Love it! Love it!

A reach? Well, of course it’s a satire…

I mean we wouldn’t actually take something (Lombardi trophies, money) from one group, who through hard work, self sacrifice, and perservence, have won on the field and in the game of life. Then, we would never turn around and in the name of fairness and homogenization, redistribute those Lombardi’s etc to those less “fortunate”…

Yeah right…

by SteelerMike on Mar 25, 2009 9:20 PM EDT reply actions

It would be much better if each team hired lobbyists to make their cases to the league. The few wealthiest teams could hire alot of them and spend alot of money winning favor with the commisioner. Eventually , these lobbyists may even get jobs on rules commitees , become referees and set schedules and do away with equalizing forces like the salary cap and worst to first draft order, which would all work in favor of the few teams they had previosly worked for. So long as enough of the mid-level teams get the chance at success, a wild card bid every now and then, they shouldnt mind that they never really win either.

by Micculus on Mar 25, 2009 10:45 PM EDT reply actions

revenue sharing and the salary cap...

…my friends, that sounds like socialism!!

by OhioSteel on Mar 25, 2009 11:12 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

socialism

yea, so far its working for the nfl…. but lets not get into politics…. i didn’t like this post because it does envoke political discussions on a sports blog, but it was good satire so i guess it gets a pass. I could go on and on but it was nice now lets move on.

by tannofsteel84 on Mar 26, 2009 9:55 AM EDT up reply actions

Cute, funny, but....

it’s politics.

And I’ve always believed in a progressive tax system (which was initiated by Republicans and supported by both parties). The wealthiest have always paid a higher rate. The argument – over how much more – has been turned into a false argument about socialism.

I think it’s fair that A-Rod and Big Ben and the bonus babies at AIG and the corporate bankers and CEO’s with their enormous salaries should pay a higher rate on their income tax that the folks we all know who are struggling to pay the bills, feed the kids, and put a roof over their head.

Cutting the taxes of a “working stiff” or “mill hunky” can make a huge difference in the quality of life of that family. Raising the tax rate of a corporate CEO even by five percent is just an annoyance.

I’ve got nothing against millionaires. I wish I was one, and – if the economy picks up – I might become one. I’m not that far away. But I’ve always felt that if you take care of the country, the Country Club can take care of itself. That ain’t socialism. It’s common sense.

by Homer J. on Mar 26, 2009 10:23 AM EDT reply actions

+1

The socialism discussion is really stupid. There is no pure socialism or capitalism anymore. Its all a questions of how you mix free markets with some types of controls and balance/sharing of responsibility.

Asking if we should be socialist or capitalist is like asking if a team should just run the ball or just pass the ball. There is no indication that either approach works on its own.

by SteelerBuddha on Mar 26, 2009 10:44 AM EDT up reply actions

Bah

Maybe it would be funnier if Obama had just spent trillions of dollars to nationalize America’s health care system so that our we could finally bring our infant mortality rate up to first world standards. Instead he had to spend it bail out a de-regulated out of control financial system which had collapsed under the weight of its own greed.

by SteelerBuddha on Mar 26, 2009 10:27 AM EDT reply actions

It's not a case of either or...

and most conservatives think that spending trillions to bail out Wall Street is stupid. And as a healthcare professinal for quite some time now I can assure you that government involvement does not automatically make things “better”. Regulations imposed by a government that thinks it knows best has made my job more difficult and “required” me to spend less time actually providing care to a patient and more time jumping through hoops to prove compliance with one assinine regulation after another. The thought that it is the governments job to fix whatever is wrong in our society is pathetic. The morons in Washington, both Democrat and Republican have lost touch with the reality of everday life and the thought of those idiots making decisions for me is nauseating. Less government and more personal responsibility and accountability is what we need. Nuff said.

"Whaddya' mean all the beer is gone..?

by OhioYinzer on Mar 26, 2009 11:15 AM EDT up reply actions