Grace in losing

I still think Neil O’Donnell needs a good beat down.

about practitioners being humble before their god. So, when a sports star experiences success on one of the biggest stages in sports, showing deference while in the limelight would be a religious experience…

Losing is humbling enough.

Regarding Steelergurl’s post, though, I used to think Manny Ramierez was quirky, but basically a good sportsman as he would shake off losses and failures easily. Roids and a jackass agent can change people, s’pose.

I do NOT think Lebron’s actions exemplify bad sportsmanship. I have played and watched sports my entire life. I have seen everything from great sportsmanship class acts all the way to bad sportsmanship that makes you question why you play the sport at all. Therefore, I’d consider myself an expert on spotting poor sports.

I have been there, where Lebron was last night (obviously not at the same level, but at a game that was as important to me as that one was to him). Lebron has been made the poster child of the NBA and everyone had such high hopes of seeing him in and hopefully winning the finals. To lose in such bad fashion is just heart-wretching and difficult. Lebron just did not want to be around ANYONE, not even his own teammates (or even his MOM!). We all know that Lebron is good friends with Howard, and he did not shake his hand. I am positive that it did not cross Dwight’s mind that he was a poor sport. Consider me crazy, but I would not want to stick around while a team is celebrating the game I thought I should have won.

I’d bet that Lebron probably texted Howard later and congratulated him and that if the Magic go on to win it all he will congratulate him. But you probably will never here about either of these in the media.

I think Lebron is a class act in a league full of terrible sports and disgusting excuses for role models. Not once has he complained about the lack of support on his team or the fact that he is in a less-marketable city. He has embraced his role and cherished that city the way they cherish him. He doesn’t miss practices, he doesn’t complain about calls, whine about refs, or point fingers. He is one of the biggest reasons I have started to watch NBA basketball again. I had believed his character had disappeared in the NBA and I was sick of watching these over-paid children whine, cry, and display terrible sportsmanship.

Don’t sell Lebron short of what he actually is. He may have not handled the situation the way everyone wanted to, but he was just distraught over the loss, he was not taking away anything from the Magic.

Okay, gotta’ add my 2 cents here; I believe with the quote that Johnny_S provided from Lebron afterwards trying to justify his refusal to shake hands, he pretty much admits to the world that he is a POOR SPORT. GREAT sports COMPETITOR, yes, but poor sport who cannot give credit and congratulations to another for a more superior performance.

I mention tennis above, because we have an EXCELLENT sportsman in the world of tennis, Rafael Nadal, just happens to be #1 ranked player in the world and the 4-Time Reigning French Open champion, & who just got knocked out of the French Open in the 4th round today. He was such a HUGE favorite to win the title again, and especially huge favorite against his opponent today who has never beaten him and whom he had beaten 6-0,6-1 in their last meeting in Rome a couple months ago! In fact, after THAT match, his opponent did sort of a LeBron-ish storming off the court and refusal to shake hands.

But today, this other guy just flat out beat Nadal: out-hit him, out-served him, many more winners than he had. Did Nadal, who must have truly been heart-broken at losing his chance to set records this week, storm off and disrespect anyone? NO. He politely shook hands at the net, shook the umpire’s hand, packed his bags, waved to all four corners of the stands to acknowledge the crowd, and humbly walked off. He attended the customary press conference after the match and gave his props to his opponent.

“This is something you need sometimes," Nadal said. "…I have to accept my defeat, as I have accepted my victories, with calm," he said. "You learn more when you lose, than when you win." “I didn’t play great….It was my fault, but he did very well.”

Now There’s a true class act and this is why I admire the man & the sport so much.

(thanks alot Steelergurl for posting this blog. Very timely topic!)

In this instance, yes, clearly Lebron was a poor sport and sore loser. But overall, he is a great guy and has represented his team and the NBA well. He’s human, he made a mistake. I will forgive him, but this was a bad move. I doubt this will be a bad mark on his career because his is all the positive things stated above, but there are others who have made mistakes like this who have made other errors in judgement and they are remembered. IE: Isiah Thomas and crew leaving the bench and heading to the locker room with time still on the clock, when the Bulls finally got past them in the playoffs.

You asked for good sports/role models and poor sports. I’ll rattle off a few of the good. Hakeem O. David Robinson, Kurt Warner. Funny thing, when I start running them through my head, not many modern day players come to mind. I immediately go to the past and names like Roberto Clemente and Willie Stargell pop in my head.

In my opinion, it is the MO of the modern fan to forgive and forget. Latrell Spreewell, Ron Artest, guys like this get forgiven and their mistakes are forgotten by most.

By the way, anyone see the OTL this morning on Brandon Marshal? That kid seems to be a mess.

You asked about Plax/Vick. I feel that their problems are most likely a combination of their upbringing and the people they surround themselves with when they get money in their pockets. Just an opinion.

It was amazing watching Doc play hoops growing up. At the time, I was driven by basketball and Doc was my role model. As intense on court competitors, I can remember him and Larry Bird taking swipes at each other during one game but once the game was over, all was forgiven. When Doc retired, a headcase chump named Barkley joined Sixers and basketball was never the same for me. It seemed the entire sport during that time became less and less a team effort and transformed into a sport pervaded by me first, spoiled thugs. Barkley was followed up by a far worse, selfish, headcase chump who I knew would never be the answer.

The ’83 finals when Doc finally got his championship was one of the most exhilirating sports moments of my life. As many times as the Sixers fell short leading up to that year, I NEVER remember the team carrying itself with anything but dignity and class.

Now, I can hardly stand basketball. Gone are the days of Bobby Jones, Maurice Cheeks, Moses Malone, Andrew Toney .. .. .. men, LEADERS, that went to the trenches for EACH OTHER night after night in a quest for a common goal. Even the so called face of the NBA has proven that now.

These men know each other and hang out all the time. Professional athletes live a different kind of life. When you’re one of the 400 best basketball players in the entire world, your universe is rather small. Add to that experience “growing up” with these same special people (playing college ball against each other, switching teams multiple times during an NBA career), and there is literally nothing personal about not shaking Dwight Howard’s hand. He wrote him an email that very night. They’ll probably be at the same party 4 times before next season. It has nothing to do with how you raise your son.

i like the Tanner approach in Bad News Bears- Take your second place trophy and shove it! i hated walking down the line mumbling good game good game like Rain Man. get in the car and go get a beer. if i won the World Cup that shirts going on my wall not some bachelor pad in Tegucigalpa. half the countries would probably put it on a stick and burn it after a botched air strike somewhere. thats my shirt man.

I’m a little late to the party on this discussion and frankly I have some mixed feelings about the entire issue. But, since I myself do not yet have any children I can’t give you the point of view on what is good for your child. I can say this though; from my talks with friends and family members who do have children who are involved in youth-organized sports, we are watering down exactly what makes sports so great. Not Keeping Score? Allowing everyone to bat each inning of a little league game? Children have to accept losing, not being good enough, and stepping up to make themselves better at some point. It’s one thing to encourage a child and it’s flat out a completely different thing to change the rules of a game to not hurt anyone’s feelings.

Don’t get me wrong some rules that have evolved in little leagues and pee-wee squands are great rules, including the ones that force coaches to play all children for some level of time during a game. It is only fair at young ages to allow all kids to play for some baseline level of time, so that all the money invested in equipment and time invested in practice doesn’t go waste completely and it will help encourage children to stay involved in the sports.

But the concept that some parents have that their children are too impressionable to deal with losing seems to do nothing other than foster complacency.

My thoughts on how to explain what Lebron did to a young child would be to be honest. Lebron is a great athlete who made, what I consider to be a mistake of the head, not the heart. Lebron is at the top of his game and played his heart out, and simply made the wrong decision in terms of congratulating his opponent. He was more than likely upset with his teammates and himself and felt at the time the best way to handle the situation was to run away from it. He was wrong, he needed to congratulate his opponent with the spotlight on, if not because it is standard practice in the NBA, but because he is the ambassador for the sport. Having said that Lebron has done what he could after his mistake, by congratulating his opponent and confronting the issue.

It’s over its done with, and with what I have ever read or heard about Lebron James, I think he takes this mistake and learns from it. I think that is the greatest lesson for a young kid to be taught from this situation. Our society has a tendency to shelter children and tell them everything they do is fabulous because they are unique and beautiful snowflakes. Not everyone is a winner, you must earn it, a lot of times through making mistakes and learning from them. Hopefully, since Lebron James is a role model to many young children he can help them understand that through his mistake.

Sorry I rambled a bit and didn’t get out everything I wanted or how I wanted but oh well.

Great topic. Read through the above and found myself adding and throwing out many of my own thoughts. Kudos to all who posted.

I have a soon-to-be 6 year old in the local little league, and I’m doing the assistant coach thing. At this level, 5 – 7, the majority of the kids are just getting used to their athleticism and finding out what they are capable of doing. Every team in the league has at least 2 – 3 that are too young to do coach pitch so they keep hitting off the tee. Everyone bats, and there is no score or keeping track of outs. We play 14 games, and for the first half of the season, this was fine for the kids. However, now that we’re more than half way through, the better players are starting to break out and many of the kids are getting bored with the ones who can’t “keep up.” I can’t even tell you how many times I have to pick up a player in the outfield or remind the kids to pay attention to the batter if the hitter is missing a lot of pitches. And one cardinal rule has been added for our team – no one, absolutely no one, is to yell at the batter for taking so long – that gets the guilty child sent to the bench for the rest of the game. Of course the parents don’t like that, but at least so far the have agreed with my fellow coaches and me about the importance of sportsmanship. All of the above being said, I agree with DYMS about the lessons of winning and losing – the sooner the kids understand the real world, especially with how fast they grow up today, the better off they’ll be. And we do the lined up/hockey hand-shake after each game…..

I do not care for NBA basketball (NCAA is my thing) so I did not see the Lebron episode. I know Barkely once said that he’s no role model, but as a professional athlete these guys must understand that like it or not, kids are watching them and how they act. How and why did Lebron and Barkley become NBA Players? Must have been watching someone before them on TV setting the example – what makes Lebron stand apart from and/or allows him to break that ‘code’ of sportsmanship? He’s one of the best and brightest and in my opinion needs to understand his behavior is going to be setting the standard just like that mega contract.

No one enjoys losing, and I don’t blame him for being upset. However, when in the spot-light, and as one of the best, his example is going to be discussed – get the big bucks and of course you’re going to be watched as closely as each 0 on that contract. I think he was wrong.

It is not the players who are putting themselves up on a pedestal. It is us.

Lebron has spent 6 years trying to get to the championship game and has failed every year.

How many here have spent 6 years trying for something, but every time it has been taken away from them put on that happy face and congratulated the other for what you wanted?
I think not.

Charles had it correct, professional athletes are not role models for children. They are people with unique skill sets. We are the ones who put the qualities that we don’t possess on them and expect them to be everything we cannot be, yet reserve the right to lambaste them when they do not perform to our every whim.

Look at what we do here.
We reduce the players to sets of numbers and ‘predict’ who should or shouldn’t.
Yet the players are the ones who have to be ‘good sports’?

We get all up in their faces, safely behind our computer screens mind you, and talk about them like they are nothing but meat.
Yet the players are the ones who have to be ‘good sports’?

We analyze the players every move on and off the field, poke fun where we think it will make “good” topics
Yet the players are the ones who have to be ‘good sports’?

Lebron didn’t spit in the Magics’ faces, didn’t yell and scream, didn’t make off hand comments about them, didn’t make any innuendos towards the officiating, coaches, league, etc. He just quietly got changed and went onto the bus.
Yet that isn’t enough. He ‘has to’ congratulate the opposing side, be all happy faced for them, get his picture taken with them, stand there during their “Face Time”, for what? Because we have put this huge onerous of responsibility on players being ‘good sports’?