Whiz needs a 12 step program
by steelerguy26 on May 6, 2009 11:36 PM EDT
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PrintPittsburgh West, better known as the Arizona Cardinals, coach Ken Whisenhunt, has recently been diagnosed by our in house psychologist with a rare disease known as “Steelers cast-off addictitus”. Though this ailment is not life threatening, it can be career threatening if not properly treated
“Innovation will get you championships, imitation will only get you second place” is the proper medical description of this disease, according to Dr. McBeam, PHD. Who first made the diagnosis of coach Whisenhunt.
“The evaluation of Mr. Whisenhunt has been ongoing for about two years now” said Dr. McBeam, “We have been concerned about his well being for a while now. The investigation is directly related to the Cardinals and coach Wiz’s addiction to signing Steelers cast-off players.”
To date the Cardinals have signed the following ex-Steelers players, Clark Haggans, Dan Kreider, Sean Morey, Brian St. Pierre, Jerame Tuman, Oliver Ross, Rian Wallace and Bryant McFadden. Also joining Wiz in Arizona are two coaches with previous ties to the Steelers, offensive-line coach, Russ Grimm and Special teams coach Kevin Spencer.
A call to Mr. Whisenhunt’s agent has yet to be returned but rumors out of Pittsburgh are that Dr. McBeam wanted to discuss his 12 step program with him. The program was put together after some rigorous planning by the Steelers team of psychologist and is said to go as follows:
Step 1: Admitted he is powerless over “Steelers cast-off addictitus”, that his career has become unmanageable due to it.
Step 2: Come to believe that a power greater than himself, (such as Dr. Steely McBeam) can help restore his ailment.
Step 3: Make a decision to turn your free agency duties and contract negotiations over to the care of Matt Millen as you understand him.
Step 4: Stop making a searching and fearless moral inventory of the Steelers roster.
Step 5: Admit to Dr. McBeam, to yourselve, and to another member of your coaching staff the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step 6: Be entirely ready to have Dr. McBeam remove all your defects in evaluations of personel.
Step 7: Humbly ask the Steelers players to remove you from their ‘Friends and Family’ lists.
Step 8: Make a list of all players you have signed, and became willing to send them packing, back to the unemployment line.
Step 9: Make direct amends to such players whenever possible, except when to do so would label them losers. Like in the Super Bowl loss to the Steelers.
Step 10: Continue to take a personal inventory and when you are playing copy cat, promptly admitted it
Step 11: Seek through prayer to the football gods and meditation, to end your conscious contact with ex-Steelers players, asking only for knowledge of how to build your own team and the power to carry that out.
Step 12: Having a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, you will try to carry this message to your coaching staff, and to practice these principles in all future player personel decisions.
“The major concern that we have with coaches infected with ‘Steelers cast-off addictitus’ is that contrary to their denial, they constitute a copy cat system.” said Dr. McBeam. “For example, they believe and talk about being their own man, they coach, they have a creed, the NFL is their religion, and they fellowship in a stadium setting. However, just like all infections, save true Steeler-antity, Twelve-Step recovery groups cannot bring a person into a right relationship with free agency – if their goal is not the goal of their own, their signing of players who have been cast aside by the Steelers, is out of desperation, due to not being a very good coach, and their salvation is lost unto that denial.”
Dr. McBeam continued, ”The Steelers are more than happy to provide the cast-offs in the place of salvation. Just as long as coach Whiz is happy to continue coming in second place. In the end it is his decission to follow this program or not, but my belief is if he ignores our concerns, the Cardinals are doomed to be nothing more then stepping stones for other teams collecting Super Bowl rings.”
The staff at Pittsburgh Blitz would like to thank Dr. McBeam for his brave evaluation of the coach and extend a helping hand to Whiz along the way. That’s why we decided to publish this article, in hopes that our once great offensive coordinator can get his shit straight and follow his own path to greatness and no longer continue feeding off the Steeler’s cast aways.
We wish you luck coach and hope for your own good, the next Steeler’s fodder you sign is not Tommy Maddox or Kordell Stewart.
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Uuuhhh...I think you have it backwards...
..those players are going to Phoenix, Whisenhunt isn’t coming to Pittsburgh for them. They are going because it is a good team and he is a good coach. Some make it there, some don’t.
I don’t think you really want to give the rest of the roster the choice of whether they would rather play in Arizona for Whisenhunt, or in Pittsburgh for Tomlin, assuming they would earn the same money. I think you would be pretty shocked at the results.
huh?
I guess that was a joke at the end of your post about players would pick the Whiz over Tomlin. I mean most athletes would prefer to win, and though the cards shocked everybody in the playoffs they’re not nearly the storied franchise the Steelers are.
The reason our guys go over there is that the know the coaches and love the idea of playing in the NFC west for 6 games a season. All our cast-offs talk about how there’s no ill will and they wish they could stay. I can’t remember one Steeler whining about being traded. Arizona had 2 just last year.
it never got weird enough for me
Obviously...
… you haven’t heard the team talking about LeBeau. Even if there were a smidgen of truth to your fantasy about player choices, it would only apply to the offense. Even then, we’ve heard plenty of steelers from the O side wax poetic about Steeler Nation and the Rooneys. Arizona may have Whis and Grim, but Pittsburgh has everything else.
…the coachs, and most of the players went to Arizona of their own volition, as free agents. A couple may have been cut by the Steelers, but the majority were free agents who chose to sign there rather than re-up in Pittsburgh. Maybe they got more money, maybe not, we’ll never know. The guys who were cut in Pittsburgh most likely were cut in Phoenix as well. Wiz knows them well, and they know him. Likely he scouted most of them prior to the draft and had a hand in their selection. All of them have the same Super Bowl ring as he does. Makes sense that he would want to have them on his team if they are capable.
..So, then what’s with the Steelers picking up the Detroit Lions “garbage” like Sean McHugh and Saun McDonald? Or the Minnesota Viking’s “garbage” like Mewelde Moore and Keyaron Fox? Those four are likely to play a bigger role in Pittsburgh than any four ex-Steelers in Arizona, and they didn’t exactly come with a rousing history of success. Nor did ex-Viking, Tomlin, for that matter.
I don’t get it. So you’re saying the Steelers are better at spotting talent before it has a rousing history of success than the Cardinals? We pulled Tomlin out of nowhere and after a year of learning on the job, he’s been an improvement over Cowher. We signed Moore for hardly anything and he was the most productive RB on either the Cardinals or the Steelers.
The difference between the “garbage” the Steelers and Cardinals pick up is that we look around the whole league for under-valued players, while you guys seem to only look at the Steelers and indiscriminately sign whoever we don’t.
charity standing orders
… we all get it your not a Steeler fan. But you do realise that this is a “Pittsburgh Steelers Blog”. It says it right at the top of the page. They do have a Cardinals one too. I’m sure on that one they talk all about how the Steelers players hate it in Pittsburgh and can’t wait to get to Arizona.
it never got weird enough for me
…there is some sort of flash add on that makes it hard to post on their site. My computer freezes up half the time. But I haven’t noticed any smug, stupid posts trashing the Steelers or mocking former Card coachs and players over there. Seems pretty reasonable and positive for the most part.
…hmmm, no your the smug, stupid guy commenting on the actual post, I’m commenting on how your not a Steelers fan. I guess you misunderstood the question. So go ahead and give it another go champ ;)
it never got weird enough for me
ps. to Steelerguy26
Your post is not stupid it is quite amusing, I only quoted the non-fan to make a point.
it never got weird enough for me
LMAO
I ment this post to be funny. I guess with 10,000 comedians out of work I need to stick to my day job. I am actually a fan of Whiz. He is a great coach. Just not good enough to be the Steelers coach……
Good concept
I like the addiction concept. I dig the 12 step program (though some seem a little too plausible for humor). You nailed the tone. It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. I give it an A-.
I disagree with the diagnosis
I believe that coach whiz is suffering from a combination of mental diseases. To me Whisinhunt’s actions are clearly a combination of greatistshowonturftsis where a coach is able to take a subpar franchise to record offensive levels through passing alone and rooneyemulitus where a coach attempts to copy every move of a successful franchise.
I do hope that Dr. McBeam is able to help and I wish Whiz the best in his recovery.
Offense may sell tickets, but defense wins championships
by canadianblackandgold on May 7, 2009 3:21 AM EDT reply actions
perhaps whiz will help us out and send the disgruntled Boldin 2 the ratbirds
would love to see how “tough” he is playing in the AFC Norris…he’s a crackhead and a locker room cancer.
Funny and accurate poast
I personally liked this one.
Its not a bad idea to pick up pieces of a championship caliber team, however the Whiz has forgotten the most important part, and its that part that he shall not have.
The Quarterback! It is the key. Warner is a good player and I like him but he is not a long term solution. And in reality, if the Cards played anybody BUT Pittsburgh they probably win that super bowl.
Maybe Beerman can help him facilitate a trade for ben.
Looks like Tomlin was..
…walking the dog down the alley behind his house and spotted a perfectly good middle linebacker that someone threw out.
Well, it did have a few nicks and scrapes and some rust, but nothing you couldn’t fix up. “You know how much this thing is worth new?” he asked his wife. “Cost as much as a Santonio Holmes a few years back!”.
His wife was not impressed..“You have to stop dragging these things home, Mike, we never use them, they just sit in the basement collecting dust then we have to pay for someone to haul them away.”.
“No, no, I had one of these when I was younger, I know how to fix it up and make it work. There’s a recession on, don’t you know?”.
Robert Ethan
was a fan, but he’s also a racist … he gave up his fandom as the Steelers kept winning … for two years now he kept commenting after every game about one little thing that Tomlin should’ve been fired for, and he probably just doesn’t know what to do with himself now.
Personally, I’m glad to have RE back on the board, as he does sometimes have intelligent thoughts counter to basic group-think ideology … if we’re all just saying the same thing it gets boring. But, yeah, he’s a racist who tries to intellectualize points to hide his racism. Which makes him a big ol’ loser who just sits around complaining.
Most of the players love Tomlin … but they would also love Whis … players are trained from Pop Warner on to live as subservient beings who blindly answer to their clipboard-holding generals. They’ll love and listen to whoever their told to love and listen to.
So look, Robert … your former long-time favorite team won a Super Bowl and they did it with a Black man driving. Deal with it. The players, most of whom are Black, don’t have a problem working for a Black man. Deal with it. The vast majority of fans, many of whom are Black, don’t mind watching a game that, ultimately, is there to entertain us. Deal with it.
Or whatever, dude, maybe you’ll wake up back in the Antebellum South and you can rest easy when all’s the way you want it to be.
Good to have you back, but with a sixth Lombardi your criticisms are losing any semblance of applicable credibility. If you’d simply like to give up on the Steelers, feel free … or perhaps you already have … but you’ll convince no one that the reason you’ve stepped away has anything to do with anyone other than yourself.
Enjoy the icy darkness flowing through your veins.
by Fahey on May 7, 2009 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
…Yeah, right, no one on this board has ever pointed out (with great glee) Vince Young’s Wonderlic score, Michael Vick’s criminal activities, or Ricky William’s recreational pursuits. You guys were ready to give Timmons the keys to the city for taking a running jump to spike Williams in the back while he was lying on the ground.
You have to like Tomlin even if he never accomplished much prior to being annointed coach of the Steelers. You have to like him even if he walks around doing a bad impression of a Marine drill sargeant complete with aviator shades and a cross between a sneer and a scowl. You have to like him even if he twists the English language in ways it was never meant to bend in order to give a cheap Rotary Club version of intelligence and articulation. If you don’t, you’re obviously racist.
Ethan......
I most certainly have pointed out Vince Young’s Wonderlic score. I did so because it was laughably low, not because he’s black. I would have done the same if it was brought to my attention that Whitey McWhite scored the same.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
-George Carlin
..so, it’s not possible that I think Tomlin is a fat little poser regardless of race? I pretty much think the same things about Eric Mangini, Charlie Weiss, Josh McDaniels, etc. even though they came in with much more impressive resumes than Tomlin’s.
Sure it's possible.
I think whoever said you were racist was basing his assumption on many of your past posts? Then again, I’ve been wrong before.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
-George Carlin
Stop picking on the noobs and answer my questions. Eric Mangini, Charlie Weiss, Josh McDaniels have yet to do anything with their teams. Tomlin won the SB and engineered the top defense both of the past 2 years, improving on Cowher’s defense – so don’t just give LeBeau all the credit.
charity standing orders
Youre right
Tomlin can be held just as accountable for the reincarnation of Blitzburgh, as if you didnt notice, he brought his Superbowl winning Defensive Back coaching from Tampa Bay with him, and our defensive backs were so much better than this year, Polamalu 7 ints, Ike Taylor didnt allow a 100yd receiver opposite him almost all year, McFadden and Gay made huge strides as players.
You can attribute that to Tomlin bringing his DB knowledge in and applying it, which in turn gave the pass rush a lot more time to get to the Qb, hence all the sacks, and also allowing Go LeBeau to dial up much more aggresive and confusing blitzes
Booya!
BLITZBURGH IS BACK
by Michael Hewitt on May 7, 2009 7:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Racism aside your logic about Tomlin continues to astound me. To say that Mangini, Weiss, and McDaniels all have “much more impressive resumes than Tomlin’s” is ridiculous. I believe McDaniels was a QB coach for the last Superbowl that the Pats* won, but that’s all. Tomlin was a DB coach when the Bucs won. Weiss and Mangini same sort of deal.
So Tomlin never accomplished anything prior to becoming the Steelers coach? He had a Super Bowl win! He got promoted to defensive coordinator, one of only 32 in the entire world. And while you may not like his style it seems odd at this point to criticize him for it as it clearly works for him as his players respect him and he gets the most out of them. He could be a hippy and have them all use power crystals as long as they win.
The problem that I see, is that there are many posts where you seem to be a really intelligent rational dude who knows a lot about football. So when you have such a clear disdain for Mike Tomlin it comes off odd and indeed biased. Especially when you turn around have such love for Whis, who now has one less Super Bowl ring then Tomlin and just as little on his resume to distinguish him.
by Chicago Steeler on May 8, 2009 9:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Counter Argument
Does it really matter how qualified someone is before they got the job if they excel at their job? RE you are just one of those affirmitive action haters who can’t stand it when it actually works. See the problem is that you see tomlin as less qualified for the position that he was hired for. When he actually wasn’t, he was just as qualified as Ken Whisenhunt was. They both were coordinators, they both had super bowl rings. They both were very successful at their past jobs. Remember tomlin coached a in DB unit in Tampa Bay that had 5 ints and 2 returned for touchdown in the Superbowl. He was responsible for that unit and they were a strong point on that team. Much like our DBs are becoming the strong point, under cowher we never finished #1 against the pass on defense. When tomlin went to the Vikings they too had the top defense that year. Now in his second year tomlin has won a super bowl, that alone puts him above about 29 other active coaches in the NFL because there are only 2 other active coaches that have a superbowl ring. (Source: http://blogs.nfl.com/2009/01/16/super-bowl-coaching-experience-missing-from-nfl/) No matter how you feel about how the man got the job, what should matter is how he is doing on the job. He has exceeded all expectations and it shouldn’t matter if you don’t like how he does it. What matters is that he does it well. If you are a steelers fan you have to like tomlin otherwise you aren’t a true fan. why? Because tomlin adds to the sucess of the team. If you don’t like that then well you must want a the team to fail – and thats not a true fan. I don’t see you bashing the Wide Reciever in Jacksonville who got caught doing Cocaine. If you don’t know who I’m talkin aboug it may be because well he’s white. I’m just saying…. Counter Argument finished.
by tannofsteel84 on May 8, 2009 10:05 AM EDT up reply actions
Very well put...
I agree with it all. Matt Jones has odvious problems that were never mentioned to my knowledge by RE. Whether that can be defined as racism is another topic.
Believe me, I agree with everything said about Tomlin’s pre head coching days. He was just as if not more qualified than the Whiz. There were plenty of reasons to have favored the Whiz innitially (none being race), but not nearly as many to favor him now, by my count none at all.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 10:46 AM EDT up reply actions
For the record...
I was innitially agains the Tomlin hire too. I thought an organization that prided itself on continuity would use that same thought process when picking Cowher’s replacement. Of course that was before I had more knowledge about past coach hirings. It fit the coach hiring mold almost perfectly.
Now I couldn’t be happier with the decision, and it only took me about a half a season to know the right coach was hired. Of course if we go .500 or below for the next few years and the Card’s make the playoffs in those years I could swing back the other way. The chances of that are slim to none and none is heading for the door.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions
There is nothing wrong
with being against an unknown guy. Everyone thought it was going to be Ken, even me. I wish he and Grimm would have stayed on offense. At the time tomlin seemed to come out of no where. So there is nothing wrong with preferring one guy. But after the man got his job and proved himself there is not much to complain about now.
by tannofsteel84 on May 8, 2009 11:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Pretty harsh...
To call someone a racist unless there’s substantial proof. To disagree with his views is one thing, even to do so adamantly. But jumping to racism is a very dangerous line to cross. I’ve never read anything on here to lead me to that conclusion, unless I missed something along the line. To call someone a racist is a very damning inference. Regardless of my or anyone’s thoughts on R.E I had to say somehing here.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions
I can see
where the guy gets it from, RE always seem to point out players of african-americans – but never a guy like the Jacksonville WR who just got caught with cocaine. Who happens to be white. I’m not saying that he is racist, but I can see where someone may get that impression. And of course there are a lot of Blacks in the NFL but the way this guy keeps bringing up negative stuff is kinda unreal, its one thing to point it out then its another to find joy harping on it time after time again even when the subject is dead. Also what reason does he have not to like tomlin? I mean really? Listen to what the guy says -
so, it’s not possible that I think Tomlin is a fat little poser regardless of race? I pretty much think the same things about Eric Mangini, Charlie Weiss, Josh McDaniels, etc. even though they came in with much more impressive resumes than Tomlin’s.
Fat little poser? Where does that come from? Sounds like disgust and hate to me. And all of those “other” coaches had more impressive resumes? Another thing I noticed is that they all came from the Patriots regime. Weiss is a college coach. But how does these guys have a more impressive resume? How could you be blind enough to ignore Tomlin’s accomplishments before he got the job? Obviously the Rooneys are vindicated by their decision. But what kind of person who have these views that RE has. I’m not calling him a racist i’m just saying I can see why Fahey feels the way he did.
by tannofsteel84 on May 8, 2009 10:14 AM EDT up reply actions
I see that side too...
My point was crossing the line to racism is too far based on what I’ve seen. I’m not trying to justify RE’s point, I’m just saying that perhaps the racism tag is unfair.
Why he feels the way he does about Tomlin or anyone else for that matter I can’t explain. I would also like to point out I’ve had my spats with RE aswell. I think a lot of his views are off and don’t know the thought process he has to come up with them. I saw something I didn’t feel was fair and felt compelled to say something about it.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions
If you look around the internet, there are two people he’s irrationally biased against: Mike Tomlin, despite appearing to be a Steelers fan about a year ago, and Barack Obama, despite being an apparent supporter of Hillary Clinton.
Those two have two main things in common – speech that could be seen as full of “charm and simplistic slogans”, and their race (or half of it). It could be that he’s just a bitter Hillary supporter, but he has taken his dislike of both Tomlin and Obama further than his alliegence to a team or political party. It will be years before we really know how the Obama experiment turns out, but I’d say Tomlin has proved he’s contributing something other than just charisma and coach-speak. So what’s left?
charity standing orders
I hear you Bad...
But to immediately make the jump to racism is unfair. Yes the side he’s taken on these issues is what it is. But is there a chance he disliked certain policy choices with Barrack… I don’t know. But to assume his rationale is racism doesn’t seem fair. I’m not saying he is or isn’t but to assume racism is dangerous.
I AM IN NO WAY DEFENDING RACISM. Just wanted to make that crystal clear. I just don’t see the evidence to draw that conclusion, and would rather not make any assumptions at all.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 10:39 AM EDT up reply actions
I’ll admit there’s some leap of logic there. He’s never come out and said it; it’s just pretty lightly disguised. Also, we’re not the first people to call him a racist, and his response to it has been to say other people are racist too instead of even attempting to say he’s not.
Not that anyone (other than maybe Dave Chappelle) can really talk about race in a productive way, and we all know that everyone’s a little bit racist, but we can at least try to avoid consciously making offensive implications.
charity standing orders
Yet
RE isn’t a blantant racist. Just some subtle stuff people pick up on. But its time to move on, only colors that matter to me is black…. and gold :) I love all you guys…
by tannofsteel84 on May 8, 2009 11:22 AM EDT up reply actions
Alright...
I hope you didn’t expect me to know about that other site. I spend most of my time on this one. Haha.
It’s a shame when someone can’t help themselves from making idiot comments not just on one site but across the web too. I didn’t know there was a history of these things happening with RE.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions
well
This post went from funny to realism way to fast.. Lets leave the race card out of things guys. If that is the real issue of course. This is 2009 and anyone still ignorant enough to be a racist truly needs councling.
White, Black, Green, Purple, Yellow, who cares we all put our pants on one leg at a time. We all need food, water, air and some good love from the ladies. If we were blind skin color would mean nothing. So lets all pretend to be blind and love us some Stillers……
by steelerguy26 on May 7, 2009 7:58 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
thank you
I cant stand people who bring out the race card
Tomlin is a football coach pure and simple
Done.
P.S. I liked the article, didnt know Steelt McBeam had such high qualifications lol
BLITZBURGH IS BACK
by Michael Hewitt on May 7, 2009 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Word
Obviously the Rooney’s see past it so why shouldnt we? We should follow the FO here. They instituted rules to level the race playing field, and they sure as hell have shown their support.
Race is an issue in some respects in football, and one that can and should be discussed. But we neednt label people here, or harass them for their views on a touchy topic.
Crosses a completely different line...
And mildly disturbing.
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 8:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Hey man...
Despite our little problems I stood up for you for a while. I’m just sayin…
by NYSteelersFan4 on May 8, 2009 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions
way to promote yourself to the rest of us…..
BLITZBURGH IS BACK
by Michael Hewitt on May 8, 2009 8:32 PM EDT up reply actions
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