BTSC Special Report: NFL Referee Gene Steratore admits to tampering with games

(Author's note: the following is written in that magical BTSC sarcasm/satire font.)

WASHINGTON, Pennsylvania -- In the wake of the controversial finish to Sunday's game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Miami Dolphins, rumors have swirled regarding bias among NFL officials. Specifically, various Miami media outlets have cried foul, suggesting that Gene Steratore, the head referee for the game and a native of Washington, PA (about 30 miles from Pittsburgh), made a call that influenced the outcome of the game to intentionally favor the Steelers.

The call in question occurred with just over two minutes remaining in the game. Trailing 22-20, QB Ben Roethlisberger had marched the Steelers all the way down to the Dolphins' 2 yard line. On third down, Roethlisberger dove for the goal line on a designed QB draw. The line judge immediately signaled touchdown. At some point though, the ball had come loose, and there was a massive scrum in the end zone. The play was reviewed, and it was determined that the ball had been fumbled prior to breaking the plane of the goal line. No touchdown. However, there was no conclusive replay evidence to determine which team had recovered the fumble. Therefore, Pittsburgh retained possession inside the 1 yard line. On the next play, Jeff Reed kicked the go-ahead field goal, and the Steelers won the game 23-22.

We here at BTSC have always felt that officials deserve the benefit of the doubt. They are constantly being scrutinized and criticized, but if we're honest with ourselves, we must admit that none of us could do the job any better. In an attempt to clear Steratore's name from any alleged wrongdoing, I requested to sit down with him at his home and speak candidly about the events that unfolded on Sunday, as well as the culture of officiating as a whole. He agreed, and the interview was scheduled. 

What I discovered may shock you.

Upon arriving at the Steratore residence, I was immediately struck by the sheer volume of Steelers paraphernalia adorning the front lawn. The place looked like a Heinz Field flea market with black and gold trinkets spread out all over the property. Ducking under a giant "You're in Steeler Country" banner, I made my way to the front door, which was guarded by a pair of Steeler garden gnomes. Mr. Steratore answered the door wearing a Super Bowl XL Jerome Bettis jersey and led me into his living room where he switched on a variety of Steeler lamps. After serving me coffee in a limited edition Steeler mug, I started the interview. The following is a transcript:

BTSC:  "This is quite a collection of memorabilia you have here, Mr. Steratore."

GS:  "Oh please, call me Gene. And thanks. I've been collecting pieces for the last 40 years. It has really grown into a thing of beauty. The Steelers are pretty much my life."

BTSC:  "I can see that. Let's talk about Sunday."

GS:  "Great Steelers win, wasn't it?!?"

BTSC:  "Um, yes, yes it was. You also officiated that game. You remember this, right?"

GS:  "Of course. We had a great time!"

BTSC:  "Who is 'we'?"

GS:  "Me, Jerry Bergman, and Bob Waggoner. Jerry was the head linesman for the game and Bob was the field judge. They are Pittsburgh boys too, you know."

BTSC:  "No, I didn't know that. Are you all friends?"

GS:  "Oh yeah, we go way back. I try to get them on my crew whenever possible, especially if we get the chance to work Steelers games."

BTSC:  "Are you saying that you prefer to work Steelers games?"

GS:  "Obviously! We all love the Steelers. Why would we not try to work the games where we get to see our favorite team in action?"

BTSC:  "Well I would imagine that could lead to some potentially difficult decisions on the field, right?"

GS:  "What's difficult about it? You just make whatever call benefits the Steelers. It's not rocket science, guy."

BTSC:  "So you are officially going on record as admitting to making calls that favor a certain team?"

GS:  "Well, yeah, I guess. But you make it sound like we're killing kittens or something. It's not like one pass interference call or roughing the passer penalty really affects the outcome of the game that much."

BTSC:  "Ummm, ok....but the call on Sunday DID affect the outcome, didn't it?"

GS:  "Which call?"

BTSC:  "You really don't know which call I'm talking about?"

GS:  "Well there were a few 'special calls', as we like to call them. Ike Taylor was all over Brandon Marshall on one play. Should have been pass interference. We let it slide. No big deal. On another play, Maurkice Pouncey held some lineman like crazy. Practically tore his arm off. I saw it, but didn't see it, if you know what I mean." (winks at me)

BTSC:  "Ok, well I'm specifically referring to the play at the end of the game where Roethlisberger fumbled at the goal line."

GS:  "Man I love that guy. I just ordered his 75th Anniversary Edition jersey. Should be here any day now."

BTSC:  "That's great. But what happened on the play?"

GS:  "Simple. I usually have Jerry work the right side of the field. Ben knows this. By the way, Ben and I are on a first-name basis."

BTSC:  "Nobody cares. Please continue."

GS:  "Ok, so Jerry works the right side. Ben knows this, which is why he ran to the right. If he gets within a yard of the end zone, Jerry signals touchdown every time. (Steratore jumps up excitedly and puts both arms straight up in the air, demonstrating the touchdown signal).

BTSC:  "Wow, so you're saying that the line judge never actually saw the ball cross the plane of the goal line?"

GS:  "No way. He told me after the game that he was actually watching Hines Ward lay some unreal helmet-to-helmet block on a defenseless player while all this was happening. How great is Hines Ward?!"

BTSC:  "This is a lot for me to digest right now, but let's continue. The play went to replay, and you went under the hood. What did you see?"

GS:  "Well this is where it gets a little complicated. Jerry really messed up that call, plain and simple. There was no way I could have confirmed the call on the field of a touchdown. I would have been fired immediately and/or killed leaving the stadium. I had to concede the fumble. But we got really lucky."

BTSC:  "'We' being...?"

GS:  "Steeler Nation. Thank goodness a bunch of people fell on the ball after the fumble. Everyone in the stadium knows that the Dolphins recovered the ball, but I couldn't "see" it on the replay. Even if the replay HAD clearly shown that Miami recovered the ball, I would have made up some rule about the play being dead and no fumble recovery possible or something. You have to be able to improvise when things get tricky."

BTSC:  "Well, Gene, I truly am speechless. I never knew this sort of favoritism existed in the NFL."

GS:  "Well now you know. And it's not just the NFL. In fact, I need to let you go because I have a brainstorming conference call scheduled with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Penguins captain Sidney Crosby. We're trying to figure out how to bring the Stanley Cup back to Pittsburgh where it rightfully belongs."

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So, as you can clearly see, the allegations from other teams' disgruntled fans are true -- the Steelers cheat their way to wins by having the refs in their back pocket. It has nothing to do with talent on the field. Nothing at all. From now on, we might as well refer to them as the "Stealers" (a totally original play on words that has never been used before).

This has been a BTSC Special Report.