Loserism in Ohio

Hatred, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority. (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary)

I live in the Cincinnati area and we went out shopping yesterday. As we walked past a sporting goods shop, right there, displayed in the front of the show window, we saw Bengal-orange sweatshirts emblazoned with the name "Shitzburgh." After doing a bit of web-surfing, I found that Cleveland and Cincinnati appear to be the focal points of this campaign to sully the image of our hometown. If you're into Burgh-bashing, it appears that you can buy a wide selection of anti-Pittsburgh gear these days.

So this is the depth to which the sports fans of Ohio have sunk? In Cincy and Cleveland, all of the positive energy for cheering your home team--which finds no outlet whatsoever these days--seems to have been redirected to trashing the Steel City. Not just trashing the Steelers, mind you, but the great city we love.

In checking the Forbes list of America's most livable cities, however, I find Pittsburgh is ranked #10, but neither Cincinnati nor Cleveland is anywhere on the list. And if you're talking sports legends, as we all know, more great NFL QBs have come from western Pennsylvania than anywhere else in the nation.

As mentioned, I live in the Cincinnati area and I've got nothing at all against this town, except for the Bengals' silly uniforms and nauseating "Who Dey" mantra. I also have spent plenty of time in Cleveland over the years and I actually like the town, even with all of its warts. Physically, there are many similarities between these Ohio cities and Pittsburgh. In Cincy, you've got the Ohio River and lots of bridges; in Cleveland, you have the same Rust Belt tradition of heavy industry that exists in the Burgh.

Like most Steeler fans, I've got nothing bad to say about these cities or their people. But I will point out that, in terms of a pro football organization, the Steelers are light years ahead of Cincy and Cleveland. What the Ohio blowhards fail to realize is that, when you've got organizations as dysfunctional as the Bengals and Browns, you don't even rise to the level of contempt engendered by successful teams like the Patriots or Cowboys. You're like the little runt, swinging wildly at the champ while he holds you out of reach with one hand. So, as a sports fan, when you turn yourself into a billboard that trashes the City of Champions, the only thing you manage to prove is what a hopeless loser you are.  

By the way, Ohio, thanks for sending Big Ben to the Burgh. Next year, we'll return the favor by whipping your butts!