Remember for a moment back to when you were a child. Yes more challenging to some of us than to others (yes, I am talking to you HighSchoolSteeler).
Did you ever have a day, where your otherwise strict parents bought you ice-cream and despite your overwhelming joy, you had this strange thought in the back of your little child brain that went something like this:
"Wow ice-cream is great! I love ice-cream! But why did I just get ice-cream right before lunch? Mom and dad never let me have ice-cream lunch! I wonder if this has anything to do with mom yelling at dad and then crying for a half hour?. Hmmm. Ohhh my ice cream is melting! It's so yummy! And I don't have to eat my stupid peas and Broccli! Yay Ice-Cream!!!!!!!"
If you are a Steeler fan and you didn't get excited by the Randle El news, you are either in a coma or dead. Pretty much every one of us (Malor included) felt a little jolt of excitement, nostalgia and sheer fan joy when the signing was announced. I for one couldn't help hearing the voice of Myron Cope sputtering in my head Randle El - yoy! Double Yoy! El-Yeah!!!!!
But it did have that unexpected ice-cream feeling. Here we were walking through the mall of free agency, with our strict parents the Rooney's and Coach Tomlin. Just down the hall the Bears children were sitting down to eat a giant ice-cream cake pizza (Julius Peppers) while the Ravens kids were gorging themselves on a Boldinesque Banana split.
And we, the deprived little Steelers children, were walking through the mall, no doubt on our way to see if TJ-Maxx had winter coats or wools socks on deep discount. Which is to say, we knew, that just like every year, free agency was going to be boring but good for us.
When suddenly Daddy Rooney, got a phone call from the Georgia police department. You could see him shake his head in disbelief, utter a couple of curse words (which he never does) and start frantically looking through his cell phone for the names of good lawyers.
And then, like magic, the next thing we knew we had ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!
There we were, suddenly sitting next to the Ravens kids in the ice-cream shop enjoying our bowl of Randle-El. Now sure our bowl of Randle-El didn't cost 7 million dollars a year. But we weren't complaining. El-Yeah is one of our favorite flavors (like Baskin Robbins Gold Medal Ribbon!). We were just happy to get to eat ice-cream with the other franchises.
And then it occurred to me. Is it possible that the ice-cream was related to phone call from Georgia? Did daddy Rooney not like all the questions we were was asking him? Questions like dad "Is sexual assault a felony? Do you think Ben will go to Jail? Do you think that Ben is jack-ss who consistently harassess women or is he just a jack-ss who consistently puts himself in a bad spot? Daddy do we have a back-up QB who can win if Ben is in Jail? Daddy do we still have to root for Ben if he turns out to be a nasty guy? Daddy will we cut Ben and destroy the future of our franchise to do the right thing if we need to?
Then it occurred to me that we we really weren't supposed to get ice-cream at all (another starting wide receiver on a team that had 3 legit starters and had just signed a legit back-up who could easily be 4th receiver) until we got our peas and carrots (depth on the D-line and O-line, help in the secondary, a running back compliment to Rashard Mendenhall etc.)
I had that thought for just a moment. Then I went back to enjoying my ice-cream.
So I have a question for you Steeler Nation while you enjoy your delicious Randle El-Ice Cream. Did we get ice-cream before dinner because ice-cream was good for us or did we get it because it would make us happy? Does it matter?