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I second that: Why XLV has our name on it already

I think we can all agree on being pretty darn bored right now. 5 days left until camp, and time has for some reason decided to slow down its pace just to let us poor Steeler fans enjoy as much of this horrendous non-football offseason as possible. By now, it seems almost easier to count the players on our roster that haven't urinated in public than to count those who have. I mean seriously, a tree. How terrible. Figures time with its habit of slowing down would be a Pats fan... Anyways, when laying in bed last night not being able to sleep because of the heat, I had an epiphany. No, not an epic fail, although pronouncing that sounds surprisingly close to epiphany. But I am not superstitious about such things whatsoever, so that has to be a coincidence. But I digress.

So I was laying in bed last night, like I said, thinking about our football team and it's recent success. Slowly but surely, a pattern began to emerge. And that pattern can lead to almost painfully obvious conclusions about this upcoming season. But see for yourself after the mandatory (shout-out to Johnny_S), though in this case superfluous  jump. Also, all of the links provided are meant to be clicked on and should be SFW.

 

Still there? Great. That means you're as bored as me and actually are willing to read my stuff. Kudos to you, I wouldn't. But who am I to judge, right? Please don't be angry with me if I waste your time with this.

Anyways, my absolutely coherent theory about this past decade of Steelerness. Keep in mind, the magic number this time is not 3, but 2. More specifically, it is about second years.

 

2005

As everybody on here knows, the first time this decade we won a Super Bowl. I have heard all kinds of proclamations, from the fact that we won despite Big Ben (though he did rush for a touchdown), because of the refs, and so on. But come on guys. Can't you see the obvious? In 2005, we had two people in the Steelers organization in their second year. First was the aforementioned #7, renowned sprinkler of trees on golf courses. After a phenomenal rookie campaign which saw him become both the rookie with the most wins in NFL history and the first rookie QB to lead his team to the AFC championship, Ben followed it up in becoming the youngest Quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl in,that's right, his second season. Not coincidentally, the end of Ben's rookie season also saw the rise of a little-known undrafted free agent who had hardly played a down in college. In his second year, all he did was contribute the longest run in Superbowl history.

 

2008

Two years without a win in the big game passed (coincidence you ask? hardly), when the Steelers were written off by the pundits for the 2008 season. Why? Because of two things. They had just come off a disappointing home loss against the Jacksonville Jaguars, highlighted by many mistakes of both Ben and rookie head coach Mike Tomlin, and had the hardest schedule in football ahead of them. But what do you know? They go ahead and win it, with one of the best finishes in Super Bowl History. The finish by the way was not Holmes amazing catch after a perfect pass with a little over 30 seconds left, but a strip sack of Lamarr Woodley that sealed the game. For those of you who don't remember that well, Woodley was a second year player out of Michigan who with that sack achieved an NFL record of two sacks in four consecutive playoff games. Also, Arn-Mike had matured in his second year, becoming the youngest coach to ever win a Super Bowl. After the season, the legendary Dan Rooney decided to retire as the man in charge and become ambassador to Ireland instead. His son Art Rooney Jr. took over.

 

Which brings us to the present, 2010.

First off, two years have passed since our last win. That's right, two. Art Jr. will be in his second year as man in charge; and he has been doing so vocally, proclaiming our need for a better running game. Arians of course could care less, but that's for another day. Also, we once again had a rookie phenom that lit it up last year, much like Woodley on the other side of the ball in our last Super Bowl run. His name, Minute Mike Wallace, might be a fixture on our team for years to come. He will be starting this year, and great things are expected. Let me repeat that for you, he is in his second year. Not convinced? How about some other 'coincidences' then? This year, Big Stupid was in the TMZ news for two different incidents. Two players that were hoped to be contributors this year (Sweed and Colon) got injured. The Steelers drafted two outside Linebackers. Arn I mean Tomlin, the winning coach from two years ago, received a contract extension for at least two more years. Two members of the 2008 Super Bowl XLIII winning team have returned to the Steelers. The last name of the third Boomerang, Antwaan Randle El, has two parts. Two major contributors of the recent Steel Curtain, #43 and #91, are back from injury. Bluntonio Holmes, Superbowl MVP less than two years ago, was run out of town for smoking two much mary jane. But my last point will seal the deal, as this second year player will be our ultimate guarantee for Super Bowl XLV. I'll let the picture speak for itself, and make sure that you two share my conviction:

 

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