Packers vs. Steelers Through My Eyes: Part 1, The Offense

I've read all of the Packers/Steelers matchup posts so far, and naturally no one is addressing the REALLY important question - namely, which fan base cheers for the better-looking team.  I am going to attempt to be as unbiased as possible and just use my eyes. 

Since there are a lot of players to compare, I'm going to break this up into several posts - Offense, Defense, and Special Teams/Coaching Staff.  I will only compare the likely starters, although that will undoubtedly eliminate some fine-looking candidates.  And lest anyone unaccustomed to my posts misinterpret me, I am not contending that the team that wins the looks competition is a better team.  Nor, if Green Bay wins this competition, will I change my loyaties.  But the inquiring mind wants to know these things, right?  So here goes:

Quarterbacks  

Ben Roethlisberger vs. Aaron Rodgers

   Ben_medium             Aaron-rodgers-200x300_medium

The pictures tell the whole story, I fear.  I love Ben and wouldn't want anyone else as my QB, but even before his visit to the Haloti Ngata Cosmetic Surgery Clinic he wasn't a thing of beauty.  The motorcycle accident didn't help, either.  Aaron Rodgers has the chiseled jaw, the piecing blue eyes, and a nose that apparently hasn't been through Dr. Ngata's clinic. 

Advantage - Green Bay


Wide Receivers 

Well, this post is going to be pretty long as it is, so I'm going to limit myself to one receiver per team out of their top 5.  It was very difficult choosing among our guys.  Hines Ward is a perennial favorite, Atwaan Randel El is a fine-looking man; Mike Wallace is cute as can be, especially now that he's ditched the fake mohawk, and Antonio Brown is an up-and-coming youngster with loads of promise.  (It wasn't nearly as difficult to choose between the Packers WRs, just sayin'.)  But a choice had to be made, and my choices are:

Emmanuel Sanders vs. Brett Swain

Emmanuel_sanders_medium            Brettswainjpg_medium

Well, I won't deny that Mr. Swain is nice-looking, in that scruffy Brad-Pitt-rolling-out-of-bed sort of way, but honestly I don't think he can hold a candle to our own star rookie.  

Advantage throughout the depth chart - Pittsburgh

 

Tight Ends

I'm going to try and avoid the obvious jokes and cut to the chase.  On Pittsburgh's side there is no contest, although I do fancy DJ's dreads. The only difficulty was picking which fabulous photo of Heath to use.  Green Bay's roster of TEs yielded an obvious choice as well, a rookie and Penn State grad: 

Heath Miller vs. Andrew Quarless

Heath_medium           Quarless_medium

Quarless has potential, but it's hard to see how you could pick him over Dr. Dreamy, Heath Miller.  

Advantage - Pittsburgh

 

Running Back

Using the same system, I've chosen one from the three men on each depth chart:

Isaac Redman vs. Brandon Jackson

Isaac_redman_medium        Jackson_medium

Well, we've got The Most Interesting Running Back in the World being compared to an ordinary mortal, which is admittedly unfair.  The photo is a bit blurry, because Redman's aura messes with the air molecules around him.

Advantage - Pittsburgh
 

Now the sledding gets tougher - we get to the Big Eaters.  Let's see what we've got.

Center

Maurkice Pouncey vs. Scott Wells

Pouncey_medium       Scottwells_medium

This is an extremely flattering picture of Wells. Enough said. 

Advantage - Pittsburgh


Offensive Tackles 

Flozell Adams vs. Chad Clifton

Flozelljpg_medium              Clifton_medium

Offensive tackles aren't paid to look good, obviously.  It's just that nobody has the nerve to tell them that.  But Flozell Adams has very nice eyes, and looks terrific when he smiles.  There are no photos available of him smiling. The photo of Clifton is again quite flattering, but just doesn't get the job done. Once again -

Advantage - Pittsburgh


Offensive Guard

Ramon Foster vs. Daryn Colledge

Ramon_medium        Colledge_medium

The choice here isn't so evident - it depends more on what sort of looks you go for.  I personally prefer Foster, but I could make a case for Colledge, if you like the Dean Martin/Rat Pack look.  I'm going to declare this a draw.

Since we don't have a devoted roster spot for Fullback, I guess that about does it for the offense.  The other two posts will be out in the next day or so, and  I will do a final tally at the end.

  

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