Tico isn't exactly NostraDOGmus, but here we go!
Why does Jacksonville have a team? Oh wait, they don’t. Steelers by 20.
Texas is stupid, hot and has big hair. Baltimore is, well, Baltimore. Advantage: Texans.
There’s no "I" in Team, but there’s no Manning, either. Bengals by 4.
San Francisco Rice-a-Roni at Detroit Lions
Donkey Kong Suh smacks Alex Smith and makes him thank him for doing it. Megatron stands by and laughs. Lions by 14.
Well, at least they have the Cardinals. Packers by 20.
Richie Cunningham quarterbacks the Falcons. Cam Newton is the Fonz. Panthers by 12.
Giants aren’t real. Neither is Buffalo, but their team is. Toronto Bills by 3.
I shared a kennel at the Washington Area Rescue League with some of Mike Vick’s dogs. Shanahan’s boys by 456,222.
I still don’t know what a Brown is, but I know what a Holmgren is: an overstuffed whiny walrus. Resurgent Raiders by 10.
Cowboys v. Cheaters, a new movie starring – wait, what happened to the film? Damn it! Cowboys in the upset.
Bucs lose a close one. LeGarrette Blount punches everybody in the face after the game.
Jay Cutler is the youngest, least successful Baldwin brother. DNA will prove it. Bears by 7.
Miami Mahi-Mahi at New York Jets
Sorry Charlie, the NFL is dolphin safe this year. Jets by 20.