via 4.bp.blogspot.com

Pittsburgh Steelers at Arizona Cardinals

I don’t know what a trap game is, otherwise I’d be worried.  Can we have Wisenhunt back now?  Steelers 27 – 23.  Memories.

Washington Redskins at Carolina Panthers

Foster’s = German for Beer; Beck = German for uh-oh.  Panthers by 1.

Denver Broncos at Miami Mahi Mahi

Horses make me mad, but they have tasty poo.  Mahi Mahi tastes good, too.  Fish by 10.

San Diego Norv Turners at New York Rex Ryans

One’s the Biggest Loser and the other’s Norv Turner.  Advantage Jets, but not in the regular season.  Norv’s regular season champs by 6.

Chicago Bears vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers at London

In honor of the Queen I renamed the teams: Chicago Bulldogs vs. the Tampa Bay Bad Teeth.  Bad Teeth by 4.

Atlanta Falcons at Detroit Lions

Donkey Kong Suh will be mad after last week.  Pray for Matt Ryan.  Lions by 10.

Seattle Seahawks at Cleveland Browns

Pete Carroll’s hair looks like a squirrel’s tail.  I hate squirrels.  Cleveland-team-named-after-a-person-named-after-a-color by 7.

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans

Remember the Alamo?  Neither do I, but I remember all the Texans’ injuries.  Titans by 3.

Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders

Dear Todd Haley: Thank you for keeping our seat warm last year.  Sincerely, The Chargers.  Raiders by 14.

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings

What the Hell’s a Ponder?  At this point, about half a McNabb.  Packers by 25.

St. Louis Rams at Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys make me hate them because they’re from Texas.  So I’ll pick the Rams.

Indianapolis Colts at New Orleans Saints

Manning is selfish.  He took his whole team with him when he left.  Saints by 21.

Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars

Cats and birds!  I’ll bring the barbeque sauce. So will T-Sizzle.  Ravens by 14.