The NFL is simply the BEA

And by BEA I mean BEST ENTERTAINMENT AVAILABLE which is the only thing consumers care about. We want the sports or consumer goods that give us the most bang for our buck. Apple is the bomb although with Steve (RIP) gone I doubt it will be the same, dude was a flat out zen-master. How can one person be responsible for Apple PC, macBook, iTunes, iPod, iPhone and Pixar? That is super-human if you ask me! Steve Jobs always added value and gave people a premium product at a premium price, the NFL is a lot like Apple but even better.

I wrote a story about how the CBA is a win-win for owners, players and fans because there is something in it for everyone. In the intro I was trying to show why NFL is the best entertainment but that ran on and my story became like 7,000+ words so I cut out the entertainment section here. Not sure if it is any good but I liked it, so here goes.  

Just like the NFL, the NBA is negotiating a new CBA, however, there is a huge difference, the NFL is reasonably profitable while the NBA is losing ~$340mm a year. This creates a huge bargaining problem for the NBPA because the NBA is luxury while the NFL has become a necessity. In tough times, people cut back on added frills, skip the Applebees and the NBA game, hit the McDonalds drive-thru and keep the NFL Sunday Ticket? Why? Because the NFL is by far the best entertainment value today.  What is must-see or must have? Footloose or Real Steel at the movies, really? How about the MLB? Well if current trends continue pretty soon the World Series will be a 65+ only subscription service on the History Channel.

No NBA but that is normal because no one watches until after the Super Bowl anyway. Concerts? Well the good tickets are more than the NFL but I don't need to see Mick or Keith dying on stage. And the other tours include Jay-Z and Kanye West, didn't you retire Jay?  I distinctly remember throwing the Roca sign with all the other idiots who actually believed it. Hey, at least when I got dragged to Barbara Streisand she kept her word and stopped playing. Isn't that what retirement means? I didn't think it was a way to revive your career and create artificial demand, what are you going to do pull a Brett-Favre and retire every 5 years?

Jay, I love you man but bitch you either need to retire or give me my money back, yea it was one of the best concerts ever but that was because it was supposed to be your last. If you didn't lie I would have never gone. This is bullshit and Kanye West is talented but a douche-bag, dude peaked with Goldigger and that Jamie Foxx poser. Guys, it has to be true, who changes their name from Eric Marlon Bishop to Jamie Foxx unless they are gay or need a porn name? Come on man, get on with it, the internet knows who you are!  Kanye is just an asshole, what kind of guy steals the thunder from a country girl getting an award? I'll tell you a LOSER!  Jay if you won't give me my money back at least find a better touring partner like Eminem, Alicia Keys or Mr. Hudson. They are the real talent now, all you do is grunt your "uhhs", "umms" and occasionally yell "holla" anyway, even I could take your place, "uh uh yo holla."  Or get RUN-DMC out there with you "cause it's like that!" I don't care about, na bro it's not like that. F8ck that, straight-up "it's like that and that's the way it is!" 

Elton John, Paul Simon, Bob Seger, Celine Dion, John Mellencamp, Steely Dan, Tony Bennet, Roger Daltrey are all on tour, what is this the Geritol World Tour?  Aint that some shit, I saw most of these acts like 15-20 years ago, Tony Bennet why are you still out there? Wait, I'll answer that the internet totally screwed up the music business so the only way to get paid is to go on tour. Roger f8cking Daltrey, are you kidding me? Really? Dude, can you even hold a note? You are the Cryptmaster, not the Pinball Wizard, come on man! I want to remember "My Generation" not your great-great granddaughter's generation!  Wasn't it you who sang:

People try to put us d-d-down,  talking 'bout my generation 
Just because we get around,  talking 'bout my generation
Things they do look awful c-c-cold, talking 'bout my generation

I hope I die before I get old, talking 'bout my generation     

Take some of your own advice because this is just ridiculous! The Who was right there with the Rolling Stones and the Beatles as one of the best bands ever.  "WE WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN?" What happened to that? You think you are fooling us now! Don't lie did your agent put all your money to sleep?  I'm sorry but it's just pathetic, if you really need the money that bad just sell a few of those gold-platinum records! Yesterday gold closed at $1,643 and platinum at $1,516/oz. that should be plenty for those 4 plastic surgeries and John Lennon glasses you wear.

Bottom line, with all the "Geriatrics on Tour" you need to bust out the diapers, my numbers confirm that of the 20 sixty-five year+ year olds on tour there are guaranteed to be two spontaneous anal eruptions and 3.5 pissed myself incidents. And what do you do about your groupies? I mean it's expensive to hire that additional tractor-trailer for all that Viagra you need. Maybe you should hire me and some of my boys to service your groupies, we come cheap. On second thought, never mind, I'm not fond of granny panties. Better call Rod Stewart and Barry Manilow, they would be all over Leaving Las Vegas and getting some fresh air outside their crypt-like soundsets.

I'm telling you, watch Vegas bury Rod and Barry right on stage. And why not, it already smells like a mausoleum in the Vegas Hilton with all the old farts reliving their glory days, why not make it the real deal. The Vegas take is way down, you gotta have new ideas, why not? Don't laugh I am speaking from experience here, I got dragged to Barry Manilow at the Hilton too I think they gave him motorized shoes so he can move his feet and shuffle. Sorry, it's not dancing when you can't lift your feet off the stage and your backup singers need to help you move around. Truly pathetic...

You call this entertainment? This is not entertainment, this is just suckers from our generation looking to relive them good ole days. For one, them good ole days are fondly over-rated and I live in the here and now! Get Jessie J onstage with B.o.B. and I am there, girl's got massive talent and is going to be huge. She's not afraid to sing acapella in the NY Subways, now that's what's up!

Foo Fighters are now on tour now that is a band worth seeing.  With the Chili Peppers, Radiohead, Madonna, Van Halen and Coldplay ready to go it means there are only 4 bands (if you are male) worth seeing who don't need bifocals. I can't believe I am saying this but Josh Groban is in the top five (most women probably disagree with me). This can't be, I know dude's got pipes but top 5 makes me want to cry. And then you have the "So you Think You Can Dance Tour"? I know I can dance, not good, but I can dance. Is this a joke Katt Williams is pulling off in order to get publicity for his return? Come on man? Really?

Madonna is going to do the Super Bowl Halftime Show which I had predicted earlier this year, pretty much every music icon alive has performed at the Super Bowl, Madonna was next in line. The material girl is sticking to her material ways by going on tour, I guess $650mm is not enough, girlfriend don't front you trying to catch Oprah? Good luck with that Oprah has more money than God.

At least Billy Joel sounded great when he closed Shea Stadium a couple of years ago, Billy you gotta do the Superbowl in the Meadowlands. If you do, I will be there, hook or crook I will call in every marker. Please do it and go out with a bang, Super Bowl and final concert at the Meadowlands the next day! I saw U2 there, I believe you can put on a better show if only you would write just a little new material. I pray for this even though you are getting to the age I am hating on, that's why it is so important to go out with a bang. Bring the house down one last time then quit for real! But don't play me or I will be bugging you for a refund:)

And you wonder why the NFL is so popular? The Wire, Sopranos and Spartacus re-runs are way better than anything currently on TV except for Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Dexter has already killed all the real bad guys in Florida, this year he had to go to his High School reunion just to find a bad guy worth killing. What's up with that? This show is tired and on its last leg, please hang it up ASAP. Next year Breaking Bad will be in it's last season and I will elect an altar, I thought nothing would ever touch The Wire or the Sopranos, as usual I was dead wrong.

Breaking Bad is all-time great, imagine if it had been on HBO or Showtime, it could have made Spartacus look tame!  Spoiler alert: Gus is gay and dies because his eyeball is melted but you still think he is alive for a second as he fixes his tie before collapsing. Awesome!  The show never tells you he is gay but a single man who loves cooking, wine, Jesse Pinkman and is always dressed to the nines?  I can't believe I didn't think about it before but I now believe I was subconsciously manipulated with everything else going on. What a show, highly recommended!

Treme` is from the same producers as the Wire, sorry but that show is not on the Wire's level. I only saw two episodes and maybe it's better now but what I saw sucked. Probably because the Wire set way too high of a bar. Sorry,Treme' has to go too I have a girlfriend in New Orleans so I feel sympathy but the only way that show lasts is if HBO can't find anything better. Hopefully Hard Knocks` presents two teams next year and kills Treme` off for good. And while you are cutting bait HBO please get rid of Bryant Gumbel too that guy is another mummy and he only says super-controversial things to boost ratings. Come on, slaves and masters do not exist in pro sports quit with that bullshit! If I could I would love to send AP, Gumbel and anyone else who thinks they are a slave-master to a place where these still exist, let them experience the real thing and see if they don't come back from my STFU University a changed person.

Entourage is gone(: RIP Ari & Vince, you were good. I will miss Entourage because Sloan was the straight-up the perfect girl. She even let E share her and Tori albeit with ground rules. Sloan also let E explore her back entrance but it was not meant to be. So close but so far, sigh. I am lucky enough to know a real-life Sloan who is the bomb and I don't give out compliments lightly. She is comfortable around peasants and princes alike and with the right BAC became Sloan on more than a few occasions. She was approached daily with indecent proposals but I am 110% certain she never cheated on me.


We had a deep relationship for many years and she taught me a lot about myself, maybe too much. She gave me the confidence and mojo to become the salesmen I could have never been on my own, for that I will be forever grateful. We are no longer together, yea I definitely f*cked that one up. I'll just let the Beatles speak for me

 Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on...lala how the life goes on

In tough times people still have to spend unless you are comfortable eating dirt. It's just that your priorities change, why would you care about the NBA when you have Steelers/Pats & Steelers/Ravens in the next two weeks? With our economy the NBA is a luxury people can easily do without. In fact, so few are complaining I wonder if many ticket holders are secretly hoping the season is cancelled. Maybe they will buy  NFL Sunday Ticket or an iPhone iOS 5 or heaven forbid maybe they save the money, i doubt it we are not savers. 

Do you really think the NBPA has a lot of leverage when the owners who are losing ~ $340mm and consumers are scared shitless? You can cover up a lot of sins when you are profitable but it is impossible when you are really losing money. Sorry NBPA but you can't bluff with that busted straight and everyone knows it, please fold, you are not winning this hand unless hell freezes over.

The NFL is in a totally different situation. Among pro sports there is the NFL and everything else and is now the American Crack pipe that gets hit every Sunday during the season.  The game is bigger than the owner's, players and the fans and has become a religious-therapeutic experience we cannot live without. Even Myra Kraft on her death bed encouraged Robert to get back to the discussions and get the deal done.  Myra Kraft knew that football is so important to the American public that she was willing to sacrifice some of her last dying moments with Robert so that we could have NFL Football! Now that's a baller, RIP Myra! Maybe, the NFL shouldn't be as important as it is but clearly it's like that and that's the way it is.

We are no longer a country prone to protest but if the NFL was still in lockout I wouldn't be surprised to see looting and riots. People would be pissed about losing the NFL!  NBA, MLB, NHL not so much.  During the Great Depression people would escape to the movies or drink their problems away, today the NFL is our great escape and nothing even comes close to the best entertainment available!

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