Last week I had a bye and hung out the Steelers. Hines Ward taught me to salsa, and I taught him how to eat birds and pee on people. Good times.
James Harrison is going to make a Turducken out of the Chiefs quarterback. Steelers by 20.
These teams stink. One quit on St. Louis and the other is the Cardinals. Arizona by 5.
Miami Mahi Mahi at Dallas Cowboys
Which one of these is not like the others: Tom Landry, Jimmy Johnson, or Jason Garrett? It’s a trick question, they’re all losers. Fish by 14.
San Francisco Forty-Niners at Baltimore Ravens
Cain and Abel, The Brothers Karamazov, Tito and Michael Jackson. All better brothers than these clowns. Osmond Brothers by 10.
Jaguars are going to smack the Texans around worse than Santa Anna. Jacksonville by 3.
Buffalo will bounce back, just like Norwood did against the Giants. Sorry, sorry, was that too soon? Bengals by 5.
Matt Ryan looks like Woody from Toy Story, but he keeps winning. Falcons by 5.
There’s no "I" in Colts, but there’s no Manning, either. Panthers by 10.
Tampa Bay is full of senile, toothless old people. In other words, it’s full of Tennessee. Bucs by 5.
Donkey Kong Suh’s favorite Thanksgiving Day meal? Roasted leg of Rogers. Lions win big.
If the cops pepper spray Urlacher when he occupies Oakland, he’ll eat their livers and make them thank him for the experience. Bears by 4.
That’s not leftover spinach in Orakpo’s teeth, it’s Tarvaris Jackson. Washington by 10.
Mediocrity is a big word- big enough for both these teams. Saints by 5.
Every dog has his day, and this is Norv Turner’s, unless Tebow completes two forward passes.
I shared a kennel at the Washington Area Rescue League with some of Mike Vick’s dogs. Patriots by 455,555.