Instead of citing the same criticisms as always, I decided to let Arians himself prove why he must go. I was playing with my radio equipment during the game and I stumbled upon Ben’s headset frequency during the 4th quarter. Here’s the transcript:
Arians: Ok Ben, let’s run that play where Mike runs past all the defenders while you watch AB…whoa, his name is backwards-my name! Where was I? So then you check on Ward right as he gets covered, then run in a couple circles and flip it to the closest guy you see. What’s that play called again?
Ben: I love it, BA dawg, but Ward’s out with one of those stinging concrusher things. And don’t you think we should give Rashard his 9th carry of the game? I mean the run has worked and we are winning.
Arians: Oh yeah, I forgot about Ward. And I think you mean concussion. We call those stingers now.
Ben: Yeah that’s it. So how about that run play?
Arians: Screw the run! Do the play I told you. Wait, which one did I tell you? Just go deep, baby!
Ben: Fine, but if this doesn’t work, I’m going to the no-huddle.
Arians: No, no, no. After we stop the clock here, then we’re gonna run out the clock.
Ben: Instead of looking deep, can I just toss it to Heath? Every time I do that, good things happen.
Arians: Oh I’m sorry, does Heath run a sub-3.4 forty like Mike?
Ben: I think you mean a sub-4.3 forty. Can Heath at least help block for me?
Arians: Man, you don’t know nothin’ about offense. <clink, clank> You hear that Ben? It's my super bowl rings saying hello! Just do what I tell ya!
Ben: I won you those rings, you horse’s a-
Tomlin in the background: RUN THE DAMN BALL! THE STANDARD IS THE STANDARD!
Ben: C’mon BA, be a bro. Let’s just run out the clock.
Arians: Damnit, son! Do you want 5000 passing yards this season, or do you want to win some stupid regional game?
Ben: Uh, it’s divisional, and I definitely want to wi-
Arians: Oh shit, Ben! Play clock is running out, go hike the ball!
**Apologies to Dr. Spaceman for cramping your style, I won’t repeat it. The Doc’s stuff is great. I just wanted to express my disdain for Arians without complaining too much.