Yeah, John Harbaugh is reportedly giving Jim Harbaugh, inside info on how to beat the Steelers. This is how the conversation went down.
Back ground: John Harbaugh knowing his Ravens team will probably lose against SD this sunday, takes a midnight flight to San Francisco. To share with little brother Jim Harbaugh, The 49ers head coach, some ways to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Setting: John has arrived in SF and meets Jim at a lonely dock, down at the Bay. You can hear the waves gently rolling in and out. The moon is shining and there is the smell of the ocean in the air.
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "We need you guys to beat the Steelers, I am sure our lousy team is gonna lose at least one more. Oh yeah and thanks for letting up in our win against your team. we needed it."
Harbaugh2-49ers coach-"Let.?…lol, Bro that was our best effort, If we couldn’t beat the second fiddle in the AFCN how we supposed to beat the mighty Pittsburgh Steelers?"
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "Hell lil bro, I beat em twice this year. Two keys, to my success. Convicts need love too and the only good ref is a paid off ref."
Harbaugh2-49ers coach-"But momma taught us not to cheat!" (giggles)
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- (Laughs out loud), "Yeah and our daddy was a drug dealer. Which leads to a 3rd key to my success. Have your players STEROID UP, makes em bigger and meaner."
Jim Harbaugh-49ers coach-"Bro, you know very well, that I been shootin em up for years. You think Alex Smith goes from below average to average, without a little shot in the heinie, on a daily basis? Come on Brother..."
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "Forget it! U never listen to a thing. For once, do what I say!"
Jim Harbaugh-49ers coach-"BroAlright, alright, Patrick Willis doesn’t want to play. He says he loves the Steelers and was hoping, the Steelers would pick him in the draft. He is so jealous of Lawrence Timmons! So I got an opening at ILB. I will see if they got any big, ugly killers over at Alcatraz. I am sure they would help out the local team."
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "You idiot, you were so adopted. Alcatraz has been closed for years!"
Jim Harbaugh-49ers coach-"Oh Yeah! Well dad said, I was the smart one. But we do have the refs paid off, the Front Office has been doing that for years. All goes back to the 80’s and those 5 SB rings. That wasn’t by chance big bro. Can't you tell me from a coaching perspective of a way to beat the(shivers uncontrollably) Stttteeeellllleerrrsss?"
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "Lol you and me together couldn't out coach or out manuever the great Dick Labeau. Don 't worry about Bruce Arian, he just stands on the sidelines looking pretty, while that damned big & ugly QB does whatever the hell he wants. If Big Ben goes down, have somebody go Suh on his ass!"
Jim Harbaugh-49ers coach-" I love kickin people when they are down, If I get the chance I will do it myself." (laughs in a creepy way and starts fidgeting around).( a minute passes as Jim's laughter finally trails off).
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "You better beat the Steelers or I am getting you an ass whoopin for Christmas. You win and I will give you my Pee Wee Herman DVD collection."
Jim Harbaugh-49ers coach-"Bro I love you so much, I will win this one for all the Harbaugh that have ever lived. Its so great being a Harbaugh, we really got it going on. Can I get a hug?"
John Harbaugh-Ravens coach- "You are such a dweeb...." shakes his head, turns and walks slowly away in disgust..
Little Jimmy stands there for a while with a tear slowly running down his face. As time passes, a seagull flying over head, deposits a suprise on his jacket. He raises his arm, shakes his fist and exclaims, "DAMN RATBIRDS!"