With all these mock drafts going around, I decided to look around and see what I need in my life.

After assessing my needs during this offseason, I have discovered there are several gaps that need filling.  After years of building through the draft, lately I have been pursuing high priced free agents which has left me more playoff contender than a consistent championship threat. 

What follows is a draft that I hope will allow me to go to that next level.

Round One:

Scarlett Johannson:  Simply the best available…#1 on my big board…Ready to contribute on day one…great combine numbers…attributes you just cannot teach…doesn’t seem to talk much…likes older guys.

Round Two:

New work truck:  Coming off an injury plagued season, the current 1996 Ranger is being forced into retirement…Replacement will be a 2005 Dodge Ram with good speed and strength.

Round Three

Bosch 4100 DG-09 Portable Table Saw:  Aging tool lineup has limited my birdhouse and other wood crafting projects… accurate, convenient scales, easy blade changes, onboard storage and dust control. The soft-start 15-amp motor has electronic torque control to regulate the output to match the workload. The wheeled stand snaps open or folds flat in a single lever-activated motion.

Round Four

No pick…Traded pick to my daughter last season for a few minutes of quiet…she used the pick for a snow cone machine and a toy to be named later.

Round Five

Increased self-control…Most of my fans say this should have been a higher pick, but I say screw them…current level of self-control has some issues, but still hanging in there…anger a key contributor to some off-field "incidents".