After his clever gem of a write-up in Round 1, you had to wonder what DwightWhite's Missing Tooth had in store for us in Round 2. Well, let's find out. Next up: the Arizona Cardinals, represented by Lamarr56. - Michael B. -
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Following a first round that saw the Browns select a snow cone machine with the 6th overall pick, the organization chose to address the other end of the digestive system in round two by selecting a can of Anti-Monkey Butt Powder.
"We believe our problems are behind us", commented Mike Holmgren. "And this pick is intended to address those problems."
It’s been long rumored that the multiple ass-kickings the Browns suffer each year have taken a toll on their rumps. "No one, except maybe Brady Quinn, can play with a sore tushy", said second year quarterback Colt McCoy.
The chafing, redness, itching, and rectal discomfort experienced by the Browns often caused the players to scratch themselves frantically against each other, the bench, and even coaches. The problem was so severe last year, the Browns recruited several interns from the Cleveland Clinic just to scratch butts.
"This is purely a need pick. No ifs, ands, or butts. And until the league addresses the issue of monkey butt in a more serious manner, we must take care of our own asses," added Holmgren.
Alternate Pick
Corey Liuget, DT, University of Illinois
6’3", 300 lbs.
Corey Liuget (pronounced "legit") fills a position of substantial need for the Browns. Scouts say he is powerfully explosive with "violent hands" (whatever that means). He is adept at both pass rushing and run-stopping and can be a disruptive force in the backfield. Scouts caution that he seems to wear down late in games and his relative lack of speed makes it difficult to track plays down from behind.
Some mock drafts have him in the top 15 of the first round, so not only does he fill a need, he seems to be a great value in the 37th spot.
BTSC 2011 Community Mock Draft Selections:
ROUND 1
- Carolina Panthers -- Cam Newton, QB, Auburn
- Denver Broncos -- Marcell Dareus, DT, Alabama
- Buffalo Bills -- Von Miller, LB, Texas A&M
- Cincinnati Bengals -- Da'Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson
- Arizona Cardinals -- Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU
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Cleveland Browns --
'The Snow Cone Machine'A.J. Green, WR, Georgia - San Francisco 49ers -- Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
- Tennessee Titans -- Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn
- Dallas Cowboys -- Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
- Washington Redskins -- Robert Quinn, DE/OLB, North Carolina
- Houston Texans -- Aldon Smith, DE/OLB, Missouri
- Minnesota Vikings -- Tyron Smith, OT, USC
- Detroit Lions -- JJ Watt, DE, Wisconsin
- St. Louis Rams -- Julio Jones, WR, Alabama
- Miami Dolphons -- Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama
- Jacksonville Jaguars -- Brooks Reed , DE, Arizona
- New England Patriots -- Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
- San Diego Chargers -- Ryan Kerrigan, DE/OLB, Purdue
- New York Giants -- Akeem Ayers, LB, UCLA
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
- Kansas City Chiefs -- Martez Wilson, LB, Illinois
- Indianapolis Colts -- Cameron Jordan, DL, California
- Philadelphia Eagles -- Jimmy Smith, CB, Colorado
- New Orleans Saints -- Justin Houston, DE/OLB, Georgia
- Seattle Seahawks -- Jake Locker, QB, Washington
- Baltimore Ravens -- Torrey Smith, WR, Maryland
- Atlanta Falcons -- Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
- New England Patriots -- Mike Pouncey, OG, Florida
- Chicago Bears --Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State
- New York Jets -- Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple
- Pittsburgh Steelers -- Nate Solder, OT, Colorado
- Green Bay Packers -- Phil Taylor, DT, Baylor