Offseason Headline Thread

I guess the lockout is really starting to get to people, no new post in 4 days? This is slower than it was in the post SB loss mourning/drinking period when we were all too pissed to speak.

As work appears to be slow this week AGAIN I had an idea for a fun post. As we have not really had a major offseason headline yet regarding a player doing something stupid, I thought we could all get out BBS on and make some of our own.

For legal reasons I am required to state that any and all opinions posed in the post, or the comments section herein are entirely fictional and do not represent the beliefs of BTSC, Michael Bean or any member of the SBN team.

So, let's get this started.

1) Pittsburgh Steelers RB Rashard Mendenhall has been implicated in a date rape story, involving star QB Ben Roethlisberger.

Mendenhall reportedly slipped Roethlisberger several Jaegerbombs laced with horse tranquilizer before leading him to the bathroom, however on the way he was stopped by an off duty police officer who was moonlighting as Roethlisberger's personal protection for the evening. It was at this point that Mendenhall reportedly performed "Surprise Buttsecks" on the 250lb QB. Neither player was available for comment, however an onlooker described the scene for us, allowing an artists impression to be created.

via blog.jacknealy.com

2) Owens wants a shot at QB, faces competition?

Bengals wider receiver Terrell Owens has stated that he wishes to return to the hapless team, however not as a WR, but to replace disgruntled starter Carson Palmer at QB. In his new reality show "I am the greatest" Owens hinted that he was training as a QB, while attempting to embarrass a local Cheetah in a 100m dash. The twist in this plot however is the reaction of team mate and fellow WR Chad Ochocinco-Johnson who, upon hearing the news threw his hat in the ring for the supposedly open QB spot. Johnson told the AP in an email "I believe that I, and I alone give the Bengals the best chance to win."

3) Favre petitions NFL for a Superbowl ring.

Reports have begun to surface that despite his recent retirement from the NFL for a record 4th time, Brett Favre is petitioning the league offices to allow him a Superbowl ring as part of the Packers franchise. Favre reportedly stated that despite having not been a part of the franchise since 2008, he deserves inclusion in any mention of the Packers Superbowl win this year. The league has yet to make a decision on the issue, however Roger Goodell has hinted that due to surplus funds from fines occurring this past season, the league would be able to financially accommodate the changes.

Any contributions to the official news thread would be greatly appreciated.