I got into a booty conversation about Stacey Dash and this reminded me of Katt Williams and his classic line about how much black men love big booty.
We be distracted by the fat ass, a woman with a fat ass distract a n****, we be at the club like a pack of hyenas with fat ass. Meanwhile we done pass all the good women to get to this worthless fat ass bitch.
I miss Katt and Chappelle, it's a big loss not to have them performing right now. So I came up with a few of Katt's classic lines, ...they'rrrrrrrre great!
I was all mother f***** excited about steroids, I was like what’s the side effects? They was like “It makes your dick little” ??? MAKE YOUR DICK LITTLE???, that aint no mother f***ING side effect that’s from satan! WHAT THE F*** YOU TALKING ABOUT? A SIDE EFFECT? It makes you big and your dick little? I was trying to get the muscles to get some more p****, I wasn’t trying to trick a bitch, that’s just wrong!
White people, if you ever get in a fight with Chinese people, please don’t think n****s going to help you out. I’m just telling you, as long as them mother f***ers make some of the best orange chicken n****s ever tasted for $1.29....you better not f*** with the Chinese!
The Crocodile Hunter was the shit! He was friendly and informational! .... Just to tell you haters be on you, this mother f***** didn’t even get killed by a crocodile, he got killed by a bitch-ass stingray, aint that some shit!
If you aint got no job and you aint smokin weed I don’t know what the f*** you doing with your life!?
If you a grown mother f***er, and you get killed, and you get killed by a tiger, and you get killed by a tiger in a zoo, and you get killed by a tiger in a zoo in San Francisco, I think God’s will has been done for your life. I think that’s exactly what was supposed to happen and I think he wanted me to laugh about it a whole lot!
Then they got salmonella, I thought you got this from raggedy bitches! No come to find out you get this s*** from chicken that aint cooked properly. So as soon as I heard that, I was like “oh, that’s terrible white people can catch such a disease as that” and they was like, “nah n****s can get it too” ?? WHAT!!!??? YOU GONNA KILL A N****, CHICKEN !!?? THE WAY WE DONE SUPPORTED YOUR WHOLE GODDAM CAREER, CHICKEN!!!.....kill a n**** with a two-piece, aint that a bitch!
Ladies you got to take responsibility for your own miserable life, if you over 25 years old and you still walking around here talking about “n****s aint shit!” bitch you need to grow the f*** up with your irresponsible ass. What you meant to say was “all the n****s you f*** with aint shit!” That’s right! You need to figure out what it is about your p**** that keep attracting aint shit n****s! MIGHT BE AINT SHIT P****!
N****s you can’t be hard all the mother f***ing time, we all know n****s is hard too often! Seven o’clock in the goddam morning these n****s hard, wait a minute n****s you angry at breakfast, n****? You gang bangin on bacon, n****!?
If a mother f***er call you a crackhead for 20 years, bitch you are smoking crack! Whitney done smoked her kneecaps off and we still talking about “unh unh”...... f*** Michael… I’m a grown mother f***ing man you put a n**** d*** in a white woman and got two blonde blue-eyed babies. N**** f*** you, one of the babies names is blanket, you can’t name no n**** baby blanket! You can’t name a n**** baby nothing soft, not blanket, quilt, comforter, none of that s***! F*** Michael!
You all can’t keep talking shit about men, make up your mind, your either with us or you aint. Getting tired of women walking around talking shit, talking about “f ** n****s aint s***” well bitch you either need to get yourself a girlfriend or shut the f** up and join the goddam game. Shit, it’s your relationship ladies, it’s your relationship and some ya’ll are being greedy. Some y’all out there looking for a 100% good n**** and let me just tell you I had a meeting with all these n****s in attendance tonight and we established that there is no such a n****. so stop looking for the mother f***er…. And if we did have that n**** he wouldn’t want your mother f***ing ass!......Some of y’all women had a 98% n**** and y’all got rid of him for 2%, because he cheated on you! Now you sitting next to a 71% n**** hoping he an upgrade!
Spanish people you gotta get you some n**** friends too so they can tell you when shit is is not appropriate we are tired of going to the laundry mat to see you in there. your baby girl is all of seven years old, this bitch has on a wedding dress and soccer shoes? WHERE THE F*** IS SHE GOING!!!??? IS SHE MARRYING BLEACH !!!???
What are some of your favorite lines from comedians? I still remember the Chappelle show when Charlie Murphy and crew got destroyed in basketball by Prince and his revolution. Also, Rick James, Wayne Brady and the crack dealing baby.