Summer flicks, Plax and LeCharles Bentley

Every year, 'round this time, it seems like there's some storyline out there that's nothing more than an Ill-conceived fantasy that somebody is pitching  hoping it'll stick. You know what they are, you've lost countless hours on them over the years either on the national or local scene (see Favre, Brett, or Bentley, LeCharles, respectively) .  They're the Green Lanterns of football : flashy, but ultimately pointless.  And just like bad summer movies, these pro-football sideshows have their archetypical characters.  Here in Steeler Nation we have our very own variations : there's the next "Bus", the tall receiver, the aging star in search of a winning team and the rags-to-riches camp sweetheart. And no matter how hard we try, we end up buying it, partially of wholesale.

I confess, I'm just like the rest of the NFL starved guys out there, I have my weak moments. I rooted for Frank "The Tank", I wanted Chad Brown to come back and I keep looking for that special UDFA that will be the next James Harrison. And of course I generally end up wishing I hadn't. I mean, let's face it, all that time could have been put to better use. I could have learned a language, mastered Judo, taught my dog to fetch beer or, more realistically, read some football news that actually was worth reading. 

I'll tell you, fellow BTSCers, in this humble frog's opinion, this year's edition takes the cake. Color me unimpressed and annoyed. Plaxico Burress? PLEASE! Not only was it a pipe dream considering our cap situation, but a pointless one to boot. Would he even be a third receiver for us in week one? Nothing was less certain before the bad news about Manny Sanders' foot and maybe even after. Tiki Barber in the role of the aging star? Yeah, that's going to happen! I mean, what would we even do with the poor sap if we got him? Ethics counseling for Ben? Pathetic and not even remotely credible. What about Limas Sweed as both the comeback kid and the tall receiver? Been there, done that, used the T-shirt as a slobber rag.  And if I hear one more overenthusiastic chump call John Clay "The Next Bus" I invite him to take one to Cleveland ASAFP. Truly this is a year to forget as far as camp fantasies are concerned.

But that Baron Batch kid sure is impressive, hunh?

Hey, we all have our flaws...

Yours truly, Steelfrog