FanPost

The Empire Strikes Back..Emperor Belichick & Darth Brady have secretly re-built the Death Star

Let’s take the word ‘Empire’ off the table, let the Patriots be the ‘Evil Empire’ we are Steeler Nation. "What you talkin bout Willis"? Well…here’s the thing, empires always fail. There are many reasons and no one understands them all, but failure is inevitable.

Think about recent history, there were the, British, Nazi-Germany, Russian, Spanish & Roman Empires. Empires also become complacent. There are many reasons why but arrogance, greed and envy are always present at the core. Sound familiar?  Well, I hear "Steeler Empire" quite often and guarantees of 7 in 11. How many will go into deep depression and need a few cycles of Prozac if we don’t get our 7th this year? Well, if the Ravens didn’t give us a dose of humility then nothing will clear the vapors.

Yea, the Steelers are the greatest team of the Super Bowl Era with the best winning percentage and most rings. And that’s all good, give credit where credit is due. But there is a flipside to that story, prior to 1970 we won 36.7% of our games and since 1933 our lifetime winning percentage is 51.1%. I hope that helps put Sunday's debacle into perspective. There were many seasons, years and even decades when we were horrible so one bad game is no big deal. Now, if we were to lose the next two games then you can push the panic button for the season.

History and tradition are nice but in today's world we care about one thing: "what have you done for me lately?" We certainly see this with the ass whipping Baltimore unleashed on us. The tendency is to over-react, I’m sure some us called 911 to put out an APB in an effort to locate the ‘Hotel.’ But that’s not how we roll either, panic is for posers, we are the real deal, not Vanilla Ice. Steelers will not lay down we will come back even stronger. How do I know? Because it's like that and that's the way it is.  In fact, the Baltimore Beatdown may have been the wakeup call that ends up saving our season. 

Let's hope this year turns out to be Return of the Jedi and not the Empire Strikes Back. Darth Brady was once a Jedi Knight but he was long ago turned to the dark side by his Master Belichick. Problem is he has forgotten more about the Force than any current Jedi has ever learned. Yea, Manning’s a Jedi QB but he lacks the killer instinct and clutch gene that Brady has. The firepower Brady unleashed on the Fins Monday night was ridunkulous, 517 yards, come on man!

Belichick4_medium

Over the winter I remember getting into a few discussions about how Darth Brady was finished. Yea, they lost in the first round two years in a row but I kept insisting "they are not done and the Dark Lord will not ride into the sunset peacefully."  If he does go, he will be kicking and screaming all the way home. He'll lose his Lightsaber and fire lightning from his fingertips, doubt he goes as far as Favre but you never know. Will Brady win another Super Bowl? If he doesn't I doubt it's on him, either his defense will fail him or he'll be lying in an intensive care ward. He’s definitely not playing for the money, at this point he’s either playing for the love of the game or more bling. You see, Giselle has 5X the net worth of any NFL player, including her Bieber bride. Yea, Brady is a kept wife but WTF if my spouse was going to be the first billionaire model I’d rock the Uggs and the Bieber cut too. How the f*ck do you tell that beautiful $400mm bride, "hey honey please don't make me dance like a girl in Rio @ Carnival"  You basically have no choice but to become a honey-doo and if anyone gives you shit just just squish them with your wallet. A few poets named RUN-D.M.C. straight outta Hollis, Queens taught me that lesson years ago

Money is the key to end all your woes

Your ups, your downs, your highs and your lows

Won't you tell me last time that love bought you clothes?

It's like that and that's the way it is

The only way Darth Brady could move up the social ladder is to trade Gisele for Oprah. Hmm, would you give up Gisele to become a billionaire three times over? I’d have to go with Oprah she wouldn’t care if I had side action with  Emmanuelle Chriqui and Katy Perry...cause you know she's always hanging with "girlfriend" Gayle:)

Images_medium                     Images_medium     

 Emmannuelle Chriqui (Sloan)                              Katy Perry (California Gurls)      

                                                                                                                                    

Empires are like faceless, ruthless corporations and they have zero loyalty. Emperor Belichick would be the most vicious cost-cutting manager corporate America has ever known. If his Sith Lord loses a step watch the Emperor’s draft vault fly open up for the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes (what’s the over/under on Belichick having more than 100 picks stashed away?).  If  the Pats don’t win the Super Bowl it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Belichick unloaded Lord Brady straight-up for Sir Andrew. That would be very sad too, almost certainly the young apprentice Andrew would soon become a Sith Lord and be a major problem for years to come:(  

BUT that's not us, we are not that cold-faceless corporation we are a blue-collar franchise from a small traditional city. We cherish ideals like soul, loyalty, heart, humility & character. We are an alliance not an empire, and I believe Steeler Nation just sounds better. If we win the Super Bowl five years in a row then I’ll be fine with Steeler Empire:)

People are jealous of winners and that's why Ratbird fans (amongst others) hate so much. And it's the same reason Darth Brady has multiple targets on his back. He’s used to it, ever since he got his second ring people have been gunning for him. Do you think he'd be hated the same if he was puking Donovan or oh-no Romo? F*ck no, we hate the Darth Brady because he’s a winner leading a charmed life. Don’t believe me, check out his crib and wife below. Would you trade places?  Be honest now...don’t worry I’ll wait:)

Brady-mansion-picture_medium

Gisele & Tom Brady’s 22,000 sq ft, $20mm mansion in Brentwood, CA

Giselle_medium

Gisele Bündchen

We are in love with underdogs and comeback stories, just look at Michael Vick. Quietly people root for him to get to the Super Bowl because many see something in themselves. If Vick can come back from that dog fighting mess than I can certainly overcome __________.  And Steeler Nation is better off being the underdog because it matches our persona perfectly, we may need to fly under the radar to avoid the Super Bowl curse. Steeler Nation is best represented by Ben Skywalker who coolly reminds The Emperor Palatine

'Your overconfidence is your weakness'

Empires implode but the force is always strong with Steeler Nation. 


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