Steeler Fan Hell

by Steelerfaninboston on Jan 21, 2012 10:17 AM EST

Does it get any worse than the AFC championship game this Sunday? Ravens vs Patriots, Belicheat, Brady, Flacco, Ray Ray... and it's all practically in my backyard. People up here have been asking me all week, "Who are you going to root for on Sunday?" I keep saying, "I'm rooting for an apocalypse. I'm rooting for aliens to come down and abduct Brady and Rice and Welker and Lewis and Gronkowski and Reed. I'm rooting for Goodell to announce that they've discovered more cheating issues, so they're disqualifying the Patriots and putting the Steelers into the game instead. I'm rooting for the game to be preempted by Heidi. I'm rooting for the cameras to find Giselle in the crowd while she's making out with some guy wearing black and gold. I'm rooting for Belichick to be strangled by the strings of his own hoodie." People then ask, "Well, if you bet on the game, who would you pick?" I reply, "I'd bet that Brady whines the first time he is hit. I bet that Belichick will never change expression on the sideline. I bet that the Ravens will whine about the officiating if they lose. I bet that, win or lose, in his press conference Belichick will say, 'They're a great team. They do a lot of things well. We did some things well. Other things we didn't.' I bet that Suggs will get at least one 15 yard penalty. I bet that Oher will have at least two false starts. I bet that Flacco will look ridiculous on the sidelines with that stupid mustache. I bet that the announcers will gush on and on and on about Brady and Ray Lewis, even when they're not doing anything. I bet that I'm going to be so happy that one of them is going to lose but so annoyed that one of them is going to the Super Bowl.

How could the football gods be so cruel? There is no match up more odious than Ravens vs Patriots. Steeler fans don't deserve this. One shout out here to Mr. Mechem. I think we need a special hate guide for this game. Lay down the vitriol on both teams, because, as the man says, "I hate em and they Stank!!!"

Tweet Comment 44 comments | Add comment | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I have decided

that i will root for the Giants, they are the team that i want to lose the least. Plus, being from Indiana, I think it would be funny for Eli to win a superbowl in Peyton’s house.

by indianasteelers on Jan 21, 2012 10:23 AM EST reply actions

let alone win two

to peyton’s one

But you keep pulling out your "refs-threw-the-game" card if that’s what you need for catharsis. You can use that card after every loss. It is a lifetime pass. Get it laminated. -Maryrose

by Twell on Jan 21, 2012 11:57 AM EST up reply actions

Right On +1

Would love to see the Pats beat the Ratbirds (but with Suggs & Co. slamming Brady into the turf a few times) only to see ’lil Eli & Crusty ’ol Tom Coughlin ONCE AGAIN beat Brady & Bellicheat in the SB (with the G-Men, again, slamming Brady into the turf repeatedly).

Improbable, I know, but that would be so Schadafreudalicious.

Bound to cover just a little more ground.

by Steeliver on Jan 21, 2012 12:55 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

"Schadafreudalicious."

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

Franco Harris:
"If I had to choose today between the moral integrity and character of Joe Paterno and the politicians and commentators criticizing him, I would pick Joe Paterno, hands down, no contest every time."

by showtime on Jan 22, 2012 8:39 AM EST up reply actions

Exactly how I feel

The Giants are the best pick of a bad lot. No to the Cheaters. No to the Ravens I want them to realize that SB’s arent won in sept or nov. No to the 9’ers because I believe that would give them 6 as well. I’m not really thrilled about the prospect of Eli winning I dislike the attitude he had coming out of the draft but like 07 he’s def the lesser of evils.

by thefirst3peat on Jan 21, 2012 8:01 PM EST up reply actions

about Eli’s attitude coming out of the draft. Can you really blame him? Don’t let the recent “success” of that franchise fool you. It’s as dysfunctional as the Bengals were (are?). The FO treats their players like crap (according to several stories) and they don’t really build their team to win championships, they build them just good enough to keep people buying tickets.
There’s a reason they’ve never won a Super Bowl

Can I get some hot sauce for my doughnut?

by FrankWyt on Jan 21, 2012 9:35 PM EST up reply actions

You don't have to watch the game......

There’s probably figure skating on ABC. That’s what Brian Boitano would watch.

And Sy-Fy probably has on a movie with people getting slashed on an elevator….or maybe in teens getting killed a school bus somewhere in the Central Valley of California.

And the History Channel has its neverending 24/7 Hitlerthon.

The Discovery Medical Channel has a riveting medico-political three parter: How Rick Perry could run for President without a brain, How John Edwards could run for President without a heart, and How Newt Gingrich could run for President without a conscience and without ever zipping his fly. That promises to be interesting.

Maybe Animal Planet can run a preview of the Puppy Bowl for you.

Sit back, crack open a Duff Beer, and enjoy the freedom of choice that is America.

Homer will watch the game, and hope for many injury time outs. That way, he will be able to drink heartily, take all the wizzes he needs to take, and not miss a single play.

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
- Homer J. Simpson

by Homer J. on Jan 21, 2012 10:47 AM EST reply actions

good point Homer

WWBD

"I think the beard will decide when the time is right to come back. It will know when the time is right and all of a sudden appear." -The Deisel

by count'em_six on Jan 21, 2012 10:54 AM EST up reply actions

Great commentin' Homer

But…

The Discovery Medical Channel has a riveting medico-political three parter: How Rick Perry could run for President without a brain, How John Edwards could run for President without a heart, and How Newt Gingrich could run for President without a conscience and without ever zipping his fly.

Best political humor outside of Colbert I have heard lately

But you keep pulling out your "refs-threw-the-game" card if that’s what you need for catharsis. You can use that card after every loss. It is a lifetime pass. Get it laminated. -Maryrose

by Twell on Jan 21, 2012 12:00 PM EST up reply actions

it made my day!

by Majabe on Jan 21, 2012 12:03 PM EST up reply actions

He'd make a plan, and stick to it too.

That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

Well played, indeed.

Bound to cover just a little more ground.

by Steeliver on Jan 21, 2012 12:49 PM EST up reply actions

Brian Boitano don't take sh*t from anybody!

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
- Homer J. Simpson

by Homer J. on Jan 22, 2012 3:51 AM EST up reply actions

Great one Homer

I just read the Discovery channel choice out loud to my wife. We’re both still cracking up.

by Steelerfaninboston on Jan 21, 2012 6:09 PM EST up reply actions

On the bright side

One of them will lose.

"I think the beard will decide when the time is right to come back. It will know when the time is right and all of a sudden appear." -The Deisel

by count'em_six on Jan 21, 2012 10:54 AM EST reply actions

Were you born in Cleveland?

"They timed it perfectly, they just went too soon." - Darrell Waltrip commenting on an illegal restart.

by alfresco on Jan 21, 2012 12:28 PM EST reply actions

i wish to be that guy

I’m rooting for the cameras to find Giselle in the crowd while she’s making out with some guy wearing black and gold

"Everytime NE Patriots lose, Football wins", myself

by rhino-mike on Jan 21, 2012 12:41 PM EST reply actions

In this game, I'm rooting for a stomach virus.

"Aye, do tiitieboy twochainz got twitter?"

by DwightWhite's Missing Tooth on Jan 21, 2012 1:03 PM EST reply actions

Think your wish got misdirected

http://www.columbiatribune.com/news/2012/jan/21/sick-bug-claims-another-giant/?sports

Bound to cover just a little more ground.

by Steeliver on Jan 21, 2012 1:12 PM EST up reply actions

How about a sinkhole, a really, really big sinkhole

Enought to consume, say, the whole stadium.

by Ivan Cole (RickVa) on Jan 21, 2012 1:29 PM EST reply actions

Heard a radio interview Jerrico yesterday

He was asked who we root for in the game, he said that it would be difficult because he hated both teams. We got to keep this guy!

by Ivan Cole (RickVa) on Jan 21, 2012 1:31 PM EST reply actions

agreed

I like his attitude.

anyone trying to contact me via my yahoo account should be aware it has been hacked

by Cold_Old_Steelers_Fan on Jan 23, 2012 10:24 AM EST up reply actions

I really have to type slower. Sorry

by Ivan Cole (RickVa) on Jan 21, 2012 1:32 PM EST reply actions

Everybody says Jerricho is gone, Ivan....

…everybody but you and me.

I am absolutely convinced he will leave money on the table to stay in Black and Gold.

He’s still on the right side of 30 and there’s plenty of tread left on those tires. He is clubhouse gold, and will provide leadership during a transitional year.

Unless some other team puts up absolutely crazy bucks, Mr Cotchery stays put.

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
- Homer J. Simpson

by Homer J. on Jan 21, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions

I agree...

…I think the Steelers have to not want him for him not to be in Steeler uniform next year.

United we Stand, melded like Steel
To Roger Goodell, We'll never Yield.

by PaVaSteeler on Jan 21, 2012 5:23 PM EST up reply actions

I think he’s going to be coming back. Unless the stuff he says in interviews is b.s, I think he really wants to be here, and he doesn’t cost that much. I’d like to see him get more balls thrown this way if he stays, because most of the time, he came through when called upon.

Can I get some hot sauce for my doughnut?

by FrankWyt on Jan 21, 2012 5:25 PM EST up reply actions

Ugh

I was ruminating over this very dilemma this morning on my way to work. We had a bunch of snow the night last night, so the roads were pretty terrible at such an early hour. Anyway, as I was cruising along at a whopping 41 mph on I-77 heading north I had an epiphany of sorts….I was so excited by a breakthrough that I sped up just enough to pass the slowpoke next to me and as I eased past him I noticed a NE Patriots logo on his side window, barely visible under the ice. I sped up a little more… then slid into the median going around the next little curve. I gave him the finger as he drove past. The tow truck driver that pulled me out had a ravens hat on. Screw’em both. I am watching the History channel on Sunday.

"I've been trying to justify you, in the end i will just defy you" Dream Theater

by OhioYinzer on Jan 21, 2012 3:00 PM EST via mobile reply actions

Go NFC

"I think every quarterback should believe they’re the best. Do I think there are better quarterbacks than me? Possibly. But would I take anyone else with the ball in their hands at the end of the game? I don’t think so." - Ben Roethlisberger-

by Mini Hulk on Jan 21, 2012 5:04 PM EST reply actions

But I hate the Niners and the Giants too.

Why did the Pack had to lose?

Why is the "football" not round and thrown around?

Follow me on Twitter for updates on when I poop.

by Josh Roberts (ESGB) on Jan 21, 2012 5:51 PM EST up reply actions

I’d rather the Giants win a Super Bowl than the Packers.

"If you havin' dragon problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 arrows but my knee took one."

by Riddlah. on Jan 21, 2012 10:15 PM EST up reply actions

Packers are my second team, partly because I love the franchise ideals and partly because one of my best friends is a huge Packers fan and she’s managed to transfer her obsession with A-Roj over to me.

Why is the "football" not round and thrown around?

Follow me on Twitter for updates on when I poop.

by Josh Roberts (ESGB) on Jan 22, 2012 12:15 AM EST up reply actions

she’s managed to transfer her obsession with A-Roj over to me

I thought you had to be born with this predilection? Don’t tell me you’ve got his “Double Check” move down also?

United we Stand, melded like Steel
To Roger Goodell, We'll never Yield.

by PaVaSteeler on Jan 22, 2012 10:02 AM EST up reply actions

Why do you hate the Niners?

They have been irrelevant until this year.

Pittsburgh Steelers fan - nuff said.
Miami Hurricanes fan - nuff said.
Georgetown Hoyas fan - nuff said.
Cleveland Cavaliers fan - um yeah, about that...

by StoneColdSteel on Jan 21, 2012 10:23 PM EST up reply actions

5 Lombardi's

I’d actually like the Ravens to beat the Pats… then get their heart ripped out by the Giants (who kept SF irrelevant for another year and 5 Lombardi’s).

I’m goin’ Giants.

HERE WE GO STEELERS!
"Our Father, who art in Pittsburgh, Football be thy game. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, at Heinz Field as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, a stellar D and forgive us our bogus fines, as we (sorta) forgive Goodell who trespasses against us. And lead us not into defeat, but deliver us a Victory. For thine is The Steelers, the power and glory of climbing the STAIRWAY TO 7."

by 1BlkGldFan on Jan 21, 2012 11:33 PM EST up reply actions

Also

coached by a Harb. Guilty by association.

Bound to cover just a little more ground.

by Steeliver on Jan 22, 2012 12:17 PM EST up reply actions

Exactly.

That whole family rubs me the wrong way. Even their father seemed like an asshole when they interviewed him before the 49ers-Ravens game.

"If you havin' dragon problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 arrows but my knee took one."

by Riddlah. on Jan 22, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions

That still doesn't explain the hate

They have been irrelevant despite their trophies.

Pittsburgh Steelers fan - nuff said.
Miami Hurricanes fan - nuff said.
Georgetown Hoyas fan - nuff said.
Cleveland Cavaliers fan - um yeah, about that...

by StoneColdSteel on Jan 22, 2012 1:47 PM EST up reply actions

There are many levels in Hell...

…and you unfortunately inhabit one of the upper levels; my condolences on your pain this weekend.

However, the lowest level of Hell would be realized if we end up with a Whinebaugh Bowl; I can’t imagine the buckets of bile that will be spewed if the nation has to listen to two weeks build-up of the impending “Battle of the Brothers”.

Only slightly better would be if the Whinebaugh Elder makes it to the Super Bowl, and wins; but that too would result in Steeler Nation enduring 12 months of excrement droppings from Baltimore.

For the sake of Steeler Nation, and to prevent a national epidemic of acid reflux, PLEASE, let it be a re-match of 2007. I can at least take some Maloxx and deal with Tom Baby getting crushed by Jason Pierre-Paul. Mabye Eli’s winning a second Lombardi will act as a goad to Ben to step up his game.

United we Stand, melded like Steel
To Roger Goodell, We'll never Yield.

by PaVaSteeler on Jan 21, 2012 6:19 PM EST reply actions

I know.

This truly is hell this week. Living up here almost makes me want to cheer for the Ravens, but I just can’t, especially because I came home to the Burgh and saw that Ravens game in person. I had end zone seats and watched Frakkin Flacco come down the field, right toward me. After the game I thought to myself, “That was the season, right there.” Please let there be an apocalypse.

by Steelerfaninboston on Jan 21, 2012 6:25 PM EST up reply actions

I'm excited for football this weekend

I really only have a few people I don’t care for that are in the playoffs:

Ed Reed, Ray Lewis and Bill Belichick. I can do without these guys.

I wouldn’t mind a Ravens-Niners Superbowl or a Giants-Patriots rematch. Both would be fun.

I love my football and think we’re in for some great games.

by jharmon64 on Jan 21, 2012 7:29 PM EST reply actions

GOOOOOOOOOOOO NFC!

"You might as well appeal against the thunderstorm."
-William T. Sherman, the Battle of Atlanta

by Jon Ross on Jan 21, 2012 7:31 PM EST reply actions

GO NFC GO 49ers

anyone but the CHEATERS !!!
At least the Ravens are from the AFC North
Dont like Eli Manning – no way is he elite and if the Giants win all will be putting him in the same breath as Big Stupid and that i dont want
Alec Smith is a feel good story
So SB = 49ers v Ravens
49ers win !!!
and enough of this papsy pass first league
lets have a real football game

by Sch Lotan on Jan 22, 2012 6:29 AM EST reply actions

Ideally we want to see the ravens go to indy and get CRUSHED by the giants

I want whatever makes the ravens fans suffer the most. I think we can all agree that losing the Superbowl is the worst punishment for fans. It’s so bad that I was almost happy to get knocked out early this year before the stakes got too high.

Plus then the Giants can claim revenge for 2000 which will make the ravens feel even worse. Then lewis and reed retire. And flacco’s unibrow revolts because his fu-manchu got all the attention during Superbowl week.

God damn it I hate the ravens so much.

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

by showtime on Jan 22, 2012 8:46 AM EST reply actions

This!

Though I don’t know if I can stand another 2 weeks of hearing these Ravens fans driving themselves into a frenzy. I’m almost starting to hate my friends and coworkers a little. But lordy, do I despise those stinkin’ Ratbirds! I say let them fall short of the SB one more time, just so they learn that even sweeping Pittsburgh isn’t enough to get them there.

by Kita on Jan 22, 2012 12:45 PM EST reply actions