St. Louis 17, Arizona 13
Smooth Jimmy hates picking road teams in prime time games. Hates it. But this one's awfully tempting. The Rams are going to pull this one out, though, because Arizona can't be 5-0. Won't happen. I don't think.
Cincinnati 27, Miami 17
The Dolphins are showing a bit of life so far this season. Kind of strange...the Bengals have kicked it into gear, though, and are ready to start establishing themselves as a contender in the wide open (read: weak) AFC.
Green Bay 41, Indianapolis 24
This will be competitive for much of the game, with emotional Colts fans cheering hard for fallen coach Chuck Pagano. The Packers will eventually begin threatening officials before the game, and be on the receiving end of poor calls. And Aaron Rodgers is going to come back to form in the second half.
Baltimore 24, Kansas City 20
The Ravens fans threaten more boycotts of the NFL season after a call in a close game goes against them, ignoring the road struggles Baltimore has had in recent years. Brady Quinn makes his appearance, though, and the Ravens can close it out.
Cleveland 20, Giants 17
Oh yes. Smooth Jimmy's going there. They have to win at some point. Right?
Pittsburgh's defense gets that long-awaited takeaway in the fourth quarter, ending Philadelphia's run of comeback wins.
Smooth Jimmy's feelin' a bit crazy...and Washington topping Atlanta is a tad on the side of Looney Toones.
Carolina 27, Seattle 13
I'm of the belief now Pete Carroll is so excited about Bruce Irvin, the surprise pick of the first round in 2012, he's trying to do the same thing again in 2013. He's so convinced of his drafting superiority, he's going to continue putting Russell Wilson out there until they finish 7-9 and put them in the top 15.
Chicago 28, Jaguars 10
Jay Cutler will fight Mike Tice, Gabe Carimi, Walter Payton's son and Jeff Samardzija at various points of the game, all between touchdown passes he blames the receivers for catching in front of other receivers.
Minnesota 20, Titans 19
Smooth Jimmy said last week, don't sleep on the Vikings. Not until the second half of the season when they start playing decent competition. Except San Francisco, whom the Vikings thrashed. Somehow. So don't sleep on them.
New England 38, Denver 21
This very easily could be something like 17-10. The Bi-Polar Patriots are just too difficult to judge right now. It's a near certainty Denver will be led by its awkward-throwing quarterback and underachieving defense.
San Francisco 28, Buffalo 27
And the Bills nearly pull out the upset at the gun. Trust Smooth Jimmy on this one.
New Orleans 35, San Diego 31
Sean Payton is cleared to watch NFL games in person again. Odds are decent he'll watch this one in New Orleans. And the Saints will finally win a game. Never pick road teams in prime time games...
Houston 31, Jets 17
...Except this one. Never pick the Jets over Houston in Week 5 of 2012. Never.