Casey Hampton’s too fat, but, if the Big Snack eats Aaron Smith’s and Kemo’s contracts, they could keep him and sign Mike Wallace. Wallace is the only player fast enough to escape the gravitational pull of Casey Hampton’s belly. It’s like a small moon.
2 Baltimore Cravens
Stupid birds never learn. I laughed for a week. Did T-Sizzle attend "Choke so Hard University?"
How do you spell "Defense?" I don’t know, and neither do the Packers.
Texas is stupid and has big hair, but they do have Arian Foster.
First three quarters I want Peyton, fourth quarter I want Eli. I like watching him crush "Brady and The Cheat’s" dreams. It’s called Karma, Bill, and yours doesn’t taste so good.
I’d rather take ten baths every day for the rest of my life than spend one day as a Saint’s fan during a road playoff game.
Cats make me mad. Donkey Kong Suh plays mad. I like that.
Things people drop: the hammer, the beat, rhymes, hot potatoes. Things New England Patriots drop: Super Bowl passes.
You can knock Wisenhunt down, but he won’t stay down. They won 8 games with a thing called John Skelton at QB. Plus, Darnell Docket is an honorary Rottweiler.
10 San Francisco Rice-A-Roni
Welcome to a first place schedule, and welcome to second place in the NFC West. Gore is a good football name. When in doubt, add more Gore.
I can’t even count, but I know that if you take the total number of Super Bowls won by teams named after cats and multiply it by 10,000, you’d still have zero. Good luck with that.
Birds have feathery meat. Feathery meat tastes good, better than the mediocrity sandwich this team keeps putting out.
We’ve got to do something about Jerry Jones. We should give Texas back to Mexico so he would be somebody else’s problem.
The Chargers suck and Norv Turner’s their coach. But I repeat myself.
I think Rex Ryan ate Casey Hampton. Steelers should sign Rex as a backup NT if we lose the Big Snack.
If your team didn’t make the list, it’s because they stink and you’re also probably a loser. You should do something about that, maybe go to counseling or try sniffing some different butts.