Always remember what Smooth Jimmy tells you, when you're right 52 percent of the time, you're wrong 48 percent of the time. Smooth Jimmy also doesn't look back, so he's unsure whether that percentage matched how he did last week.
He just knows he's back again to pick the action in Week 2.
It starts off with a doozy.
Chicago at Green Bay - The Packers missed approximately 547 tackles in their loss to San Francisco last week. Odds are good they will miss fewer against Chicago, and they'll rebound for the record-evening win. Packers 34, Bears 20
Kansas City at Buffalo - These teams were the recipients of some epic whippings in Week 1, so the question is whether adjustments can be made to prevent the France-like surrendering of six touchdowns each. Kansas City 29, Buffalo 17
Cleveland at Cincinnati - Browns quarterback Brandon Weeden looked like a 19-year-old rookie in his first collegiate start. At least Cleveland knows he has decades of use still to come. Cincinnati 19, Cleveland 6
Minnesota at Indianapolis - The Vikings succeeded in making Jaguars quarterback look like the greatest passer in Jaguars history, which is like being the best WB show in TV history. Indianapolis 24, Vikings 20
Oakland at Miami - Going into a season depending on Carson Palmer's ability to direct an offense is like entering a political campaign while you're being investigated for assault of an elderly couple. Or being associated with the Miami Dolphins. Oakland 27, Dolphins 16
Arizona at New England - Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt will make sure his defensive game plan remains solid, and the officials are aware of how many timeouts each team is allowed to call each half. Patriots 34, Cardinals 17
Tampa Bay at New York Giants - I'd pay money to see Jason Pierre-Paul come off the edge, grab diminutive running back Doug Martin and drop some kind of Mortal Kombat-esque finishing move on him. Nothing against Martin. I wish him nothing but heath. Giants 20, Buccaneers 13
Baltimore at Philadelphia - Many college graduates shake their head and grumble each month when the student loan payment is debited from their checking account. They now get to pay a hundred or two for a job they likely don't need a college degree to do. I like to think that's how Andy Reid feels when he watches Michael Vick warm up now. It's laughable now seeing the name "Vick" next to "$40 million guaranteed." Ravens 29, Eagles 17
New Orleans at Carolina - Was Saints QB Drew Brees borderline hysterical on the sideline, like Rocky was when he took on Clubber Lang the first time, when Mickey was dying in the locker room? "I can't-I can't-I need Sean! Sean! Where's Sean?!?" - Saints 37, Panthers 30
Houston at Jacksonville - Please remember to laugh at That Guy in your Fantasy league, the guy who woke up at 4 a.m. to make sure to get a roster claim in for Gabbert. Bet he was excited about it too. Watch what Houston's defense does to him in this one. - Texans 27, Jaguars 10
Washington at St. Louis - St. Louis will be sure not to give Redskins rookie QB Robert Griffin III 80 yards of field with the game on the line, and four timeouts (or two two-minute warnings) with which to work. Rams 27, Redskins 21
Dallas at Seattle - Rookie QB Russell Wilson was 18-for-34 with 153 yards and a touchdown. It's obvious now to everyone why they traded Tarvaris Jackson, who clearly would have only been 17-for-34 with 149 yards and a touchdown. Cowboys will lose some luster playing against an aggressive defense. Seahawks 19, Dallas 17
New York Jets at Pittsburgh - The Jets tortured Ryan Fitzpatrick last week, who looked like he won Bernkie Kosar's "QB Skool" reality show to earn a job as an NFL quarterback. With Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger looking like he'd be bashed over the head with a crowbar if he didn't throw the ball within two seconds of receiving it, he forced a few throws into really tight windows. Some were completed. Some should have been intercepted. One was. Things will even out for the Steelers this week. Steelers 26, Jets 24
Tennessee at San Diego - You think Dez Bryant isn't hacked off over the rules he has to follow while Kenny Britt matches his impressive yards per catch with his arrests per season stats? If Bryant got it bad, just imagine if Britt was on the Cowboys. He'd be shackled to the locker room wall between practices and games. Chargers 30, Titans 24
Detroit at San Francisco - The 49ers won't give Lions QB Matthew Stafford four shots at the end zone, and provided the officials are paying attention, he won't get the benefit of any scoreboard operator errors. San Francisco 27, Lions 20