USA TODAY Sports
We're resorting to the "like you have anything better to do" argument to entice you to stop by and say hi. But really, what else are you doing?
Apparently, there's some kind of hockey match on right now rivaling the luxurious NFL Pro Bowl.
I got a flu shot yesterday, so naturally, I feel like my head is about to explode and I just got hit by a bus.
Because of this, I'm unable to successfully fight for the remote, and the TV is stuck on one of those shows where morons from the south pay hundreds of dollars for the remnants of storage units.
Somehow, they're able to flip the items inside into "art," which sells at like $900 a pop. Seems smarter to invest in old storage units, and make a guaranteed profit from artsy hipsters.
Pro Bowl. That's what this is about. The less seriously the players take it, the better. Here's what I'm hoping for. Maurkice Pouncey covering Henry Melton outside the numbers with Doug Martin firing laser-guided back-shoulder missiles at him.
Odds of this happening are small, but I'm officially delirious with fever, and finding myself highly amused with the idea.
What else is going to happen in this game?