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Will he Johnson, or Won't he Johnson?

"Will he Johnson, or Won't he Johnson?" is an attempt at humor through the analysis of cold hard statistics, although another title I mulled using for this post was "Don't cut {off} my Johnson because of Insomnia."


Please. Let us all be mature here. Could the moderator please ensure that all lewd and lascivious comments about the subtext of the title of the post be promptly removed... (For the avoidance of doubt, I am being slightly facetious. I believe in free speech and the self-healing powers of occasional immaturity.)


The point being raised here is the result of a recent viewing of Pittsburgh Steelers fullback Will Johnson's "A Day in the Life of" video featured on Steelers.com and some intensively fruitful Google-ing with my handheld in bed (as I tap away on the touchscreen, the bell tolls three am local time).


So let's talk Johnson. I, for one, have been impressed with what limited snaps I have seen during his rookie campaign. I am not expecting Will Johnson to show up for year two of his NFL career and perform in the receiving game to the extent that anyone remotely sane would ever compare him to Calvin Johnson. But it's the offseason so let me be the first to say that Will will win the starting FB job in Pittsburgh for the 2013 season and Will will play lights out enough that some insomniac Steelers maniac like me will make the stretch of a statement and will type the following:


Will will produce Calvin-like numbers this season!


Imaginary Editor #1 Note: I think @viewfrom22 is 5150 inv... Imaginary Editor #2 Note: I agree, but he's on a roll so let's read the rest of his post.


(@viewfrom22 Note: I just made reference to an Amanda Bynes' news story on an American football fan blog site...it really must be the offseason...)


During Will Johnson's rookie season with the Steelers, according to ESPN stats, he was targeted on 26 pass attempts while making 15 receptions for a total of 137 yards, with one touchdown grab coming in the Week 8 win vs the Redskins.
Obviously not HOF numbers. But what's exciting about this young man is epitomized by his first statistic logged as a professional football player. If I only knew how to properly write play-by-play copy, I would insert those lovely words here. But alas I cannot, so my feeble attempt is laid bare below:


"Second and five for the Steelers with the ball on the Broncos 33 yard line. Dwyer in at running back. Rookie free agent Will Johnson offset in the backfield at fullback with Miller wide right. Brown and Cotchery in at receiver. Miller in motion and here's the snap."


Also, if I was more HTML-savvy and Photoshop proficient, I would have inserted a gif animation of the play in question here.


From the comforts of my couch watching the slow-motion replay, it's clear pre-snap that Will will be able to break out of the backfield cleanly to the left side of the Oline without having to chip away at a pass rusher during his release. He sees Dummervil drop back in coverage and Porter shift deep center, which I believe triggered his read to turn around and ready himself to catch Ben's pass delivered squarely on the numbers. With sure hands and eyes focused on the projectile until after he makes a clean catch, he secures the ball and then turns to sprint upfield along the sideline for a 20-plus yard gain. Talk about acceleration for a big guy. And furthermore his sense of mind even as a rookie catching his first professional pass to know where the defenders will be when he turns and kicks in his afterburners. Unfortunately for Will, the sideline was there to prevent what would have been an amazing "first touch in the NFL" experience for the rookie back if he had a bit extra playing field for one more move to power through the defender.


Back to my earth-stopping statement earlier: I'm not crazy. I don't expect Will to look like this.


[insert gif animation of Calvin extending over two defenders to pluck the ball out of the air]


On the other hand, I don't expect Will to look like this either.


[insert gif animation of nameless running back dropping a dump-off pass because he turned to run before securing the catch]


But I digress. I'm merely emphasizing that the use of statistical analysis in sports reporting is basically spinning the perspective of the data into palatable facts to fit the storyline. So allow me to serve up the data and present it in an incredibly mundane format to obfuscate the story that I really have no significant points to prove other than I cannot sleep, and work tomorrow morning is fast approaching. And I'm a Steelers junkie.


As my current (hope he doesn't become former which could happen if I can't get some sleep soon) boss likes to say, "Let's wow them with some fancy shmancy numbers..." from the 2012 season.


Will (FB Steelers) 57.7% completion rate with averages of 9.1 yards per catch or 5.3 yards per target, with a 6.7% TD rate on catches or 3.8% TD rate on targets. 53.3% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Calvin's (WR Lions) Rookie Season (2007) 50.5% completion rate with averages of 15.8 yards per catch or 7.9 yards per target, with a 8.3% TD rate on catches or 4.2% TD rate on targets. 79.2% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Calvin's most recent Season (2012) 59.5% completion rate with averages of 16.1 yards per catch or 9.6 yards per target, with a 4.1% TD rate on catches or 2.4% TD rate on targets. 75.4% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


For reference, as well as the immortality of this post, do not stop me here. I am on a roll and not afraid to admit that I believe I am. Therefore I Am. And therefore I will now present to you the remaining Johnsons that logged at least one reception during the 2012 NFL season.


Andre Johnson (WR Texans) 68.3% completion rate with averages of 14.3 yards per catch or 9.7 yards per target, with a 3.6% TD rate on catches or 2.4% TD rate on targets. 70.5% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!
Steve Johnson (WR Bills) 53.4% completion rate with averages of 13.2 yards per catch or 7.1 yards per target, with a 7.6% TD rate on catches or 4.1% TD rate on targets. 65.8% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Chris Johnson (RB Titans) 73.5% completion rate with averages of 6.4 yards per catch or 4.7 yards per target, with a goose egg in the stats column for touchdown receptions. 19.4% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Damarius Johnson (WR Eagles) 63.3% completion rate with averages of 13.5 yards per catch or 8.5 yards per target, with a goose egg in the stats column for touchdown receptions. 73.7% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Quinn Johnson (FB Titans) 62.5% completion rate with averages of 8.0 yards per catch or 5.0 yards per target, with a goose egg in the stats column for touchdown receptions. 40.0% of his catches resulted in a First Down to move the Chains!


Mike Johnson (G Falcons) 100% completion rate with averages of 1.0 yards per catch or 1.0 yards per target, with a 100% TD rate on catches or 100% TD rate on targets. His only catch resulted in a TD, so technically no First Down, but the Chain Gang certainly had to reposition themselves after the PAT and ensuing kick-off. (Move the chains!)


The final count is eight Johnsons who have at least one reception during the 2012 season. If I misspelled any Johnsons or omitted any Jonsons, I apologize.


But my Johnson. Our Johnson! Let's hope, this season that our Johnson stays strong. Of course it could be, and probably should be, left unsaid, but I really don't want my Johnson to be cut {off} by the Steelers...(or by nihilists).


http://newsmanone.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/the-big-lebowski-script-nihilists_640_204_s_c1_center_top_0_0.jpg


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5J_kao6mwA&sns=em


Can the regular season get here soon enough to save me from the fall into football withdrawal madness?


@viewfrom22

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