Another Football Monday

Another football Monday. We wait in anticipation for tonight’s sure to be fantastic game between the Steelers and somebody. If any of you were not sure about the sacrificial chicken for tonight’s game, let remind you of one thing: The Titans spotted the Steelers two points and that was more than the Steelers’ offense could produce for three quarters. Sacrifice the chicken. The Steelers can use all the help they can get.

I saw some good football last night. Principally because I got to see a Crybaugh have his team destroyed in prime time. This despite the referees trying their level best to call the game without their Seeing Eye dogs. I mean, you would think they were refing the game for the Steelers. Not that I think they are crooked or anything, just competence impaired. Or, put another way: Goodell motivated.

Would one of our resident football geniuses please explain holding to me? I thought that as long as the blocker kept his hands inside the shoulder pads he could lock on to the defenders pads and "hold on". I thought this was why for countless games and multiple years offensive linemen were allowed to be off to the side of our outside linebackers and reach across their neck and hold on to our outside linebackers shoulder pads and it wasn’t called as holding. What the great googly-moogly is going on here? Please someone help me before my head explodes! I saw a guy get called for that exact thing (What has been happening to our linebackers for years and games with no calls).

Okay, I broke down after two years of not reading that gasbag Peter King and read MMQB this morning. You know what? He’s still an unmitigated GASBAG! Still all warm and fuzzy about the guys he can get on the phone. Still a DB and I don’t mean defensive back. I can’t for the life of me remember why I used to read anything he had to write. I feel so unclean now.

Game 2, Philadelphia loses. Now that everyone has seen Chip Kelly’s thousand mile an hour offense, what are the chances they start to figure it out fairly fast? And, their defense? Putrid. Let’s see what week three brings against Mr. Reid. Is this another flash in the pan? Or here to stay?

Wilson or Williams? I’m throwing my impressively worthless endorsement behind that rookie. Not clear enough? Okay, I’m rooting for the guy we drafted in the sixth or seventh round. Sixth? I think that’s right. I just want someone to lay the lumber out there. I want a scary run stopper. I want a guy who can not only stop a runner in his tracks, but can drive him back. I want people saying "Giovani who?" after this game.

What are the Vegas odds of a Steeler having a season ending injury this week? Please-please-please if it has to be anybody, let it be Whimper. And, let it happen during stretches. I live in fear induced stress that one of our linemen is going to get hurt and Whimper is going to be on the field. Which, of course, will lead to Ben having a lot of face to face time with Geno Atkins. If I were a coach I would have certain rules and one of them would be: Do not sign a guy named Whimper! Seriously!

Okay guys and gals, let’s take some time to think about tonight’s game. There is a chance the Steelers could lose this one. I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, or convey that I am not a true-blue, 100% Steelers fan, but in the interests of avoiding Tuesday morning suicide watch by our loved ones, we may want to temper our expectations and prepare ourselves for life after defeat to one of the worst organizations on the planet right after the Smoking For Children Lobby and Roger Goodell Foundation For The Training Of Blind Referees. We all know there is a small possibility that the offensive line did not get better. We all know that Redman keeps eating buttered popcorn on the sideline. We all know that when it takes the offence the better part of three and a half quarters to warm up, AT HOME, their chances of scoring against a great defense are not good. We know these things, so be prepared, or get fitted for an elegant and stylish white jacket later.

Of course after saying the above, I have high hopes that the Steelers will rise to the occasion. And, even prepared and forewarned, I will take a Steeler loss very hard, as will one of my cats.

I will leave you with a positive thought: Jarvis Jones will be starting tonight. Our new pony will make something happen. Good luck Jarvis!


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