Trying Times

My first question is: What does ONE HUNDRED MILLION buy you these days? I mean, if not wins by your franchise quarterback, maybe the Rooney’s should have bought a new jet. Certainly, they could at least have bought one hundred thousand ponies at one thousand dollars a pop. Sure, some of us would have had to share and we might look ridiculous riding them, but the Rooneys would have gotten what they paid for. Another option would have been to install heated, vibrating massage chairs throughout the whole of Heinz field. The chairs wouldn’t have generated wins either, but they would have cut down on boos, which, bye the way, are totally inappropriate for Steelers fans. We are not Eagles fans people!

On that note: If you ever thought of degenerating into a fan of the type the Eagles enjoy, let me remind you of karma – The Eagles fans, classy and upbeat as they are, have now been treated to eight straight home losses. Karma’s a b@#$h!

I thought someone told me Vince Williams could hit? I mean really hit. Whoever you were, were you per chance talking about back yard football with his little sisters? I haven’t seen him stop someone in their tracks yet. But, I’m old and senile, so I could be wrong. Speaking of stopping them in their tracks, could someone explain the concept to the Steelers short yardage defense? Please. They seemed to grasp the concept for a couple of plays, then they grasped the concept of hospitality in their own end zone.

Let me just tell you, I think it might be me. Not just because I’m self-centered and the focus of the universe. With the exception of one game, every single team I wanted to win this weekend lost. There’s something going on here and it’s not just because I’m crazy. If you’re betting, ask me who I like. On another crazy note, is there a chance the Steelers have been cursed? How many fumbles are going to bounce right back to the Steelers opponents? Think boys and girls, who might have cursed us? Is there anyone here that might have a connection who might know someone, who has a friend with a buddy who could maybe lift this curse?

One thing is for sure, none of the Steelers is taking performance enhancing drugs.

The time for anger is past. We now must accept the inevitable, the Steelers are officially rebuilding. There are no two ways about it. We want to say reloading, but the ammo box is empty. Which means we have to start thinking about the draft. As it stands now we could draft in the top seven. That hurts to type. If Ben plays like this for the rest of the year, do the Steelers draft a quarterback in the first? Do they invest yet another pick on the offensive line? What? It’s a pretty high pick, the Steelers won’t (knock on wood) get one that high for a while.

What about Mike Tomlin? I’ve always said that Belichick won’t be a genius when Brady retires. How good of a head coach is Mike Tomlin if Ben does an epic crash and burn? How bad would the Steelers record have to be for the Rooneys to think about replacing Tomlin?

That’s it for today. I’m sorry I couldn’t be funnier, but you know…


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