40 oz.

1. This O-line is a sieve

I imagine they would be good to use to drain pasta. Watching them play is like getting shot. In the face. At close range.

2. The Steelers are 0-4. I got into a fistfight with my friend. I dislocated my shoulder in my sleep (unrelated to the fight). Then I had to ask the same friend to pop it back into my socket.

Who does this happen to!? Oh, a fan of a team who has no wins through 4 weeks, you say? Makes sense...

3. Can we just go ahead and say Le'veon Bell is the starter from now on?

Still a rookie, but he gave us a shot in the arm. And that shot was full of 'roids (please don't let him be juicing).

4. Our safeties are awesome...but not very fast.

Adrian Peterson ran right by Ryan Clark like he was standing still. Greg Jennings(!) ran right by Troy P. Ugh.

5. Something isn't right with Ben.

He doesn't trust the OC? He isn't the same player? He doesn't trust his receivers to make plays? He doesn't trust the running game, so he's forcing it? He's tired of getting hit in the cranium (I would be)? Regardless, he got picked by Chad Greenway and generally didn't look ok. Greenway is an outstanding player, but he probably has about 0.7648 career interceptions (don't care enough to look it up).

6. What do we have, like 3 sacks on the season?

I no longer know how to characterize Lawrence Timmons. I don't know if he's a difference maker or a pedestrian who painted 94 on his shirt. Woodley is playing better than he has in recent seasons, but he's not a world beater. Jarvis Jones is a rook, I give him a pass for that reason. Vince Williams is a rook too, but he gotta do better. I don't care

7. Enjoyed #11's play.

Let's continue getting Wheaton touches. 'Nuff said.

8. Sad about L.C.'s passing

Much before my time, but his highlights are ridiculous. My heart to his family.

9. They do good things every week, but they keep pointing the gun back at their own faces. And that gun is a 45 Magnum.

Did Ben not look awesome mostly? Wasn't Bell a sight for sore eyes? Jericho got faster over night? Stop using question marks? *punches self in jaw as hard as possible*

10. At least Tommy Maddox isn't the quarterback.

11. The future is bright.

Le'veon Bell, Markus Wheaton, Shamarko Thomas, Vince Williams, Jarvis Jones, David DeCastro (still struggles, but I see the potential/reason why people were so high on him prior to the draft).

12. Cortez Allen played... but he isn't healthy yet.

13. Loved the double slot look with Heath Miller and David Johnson.

I saw this a lot yesterday, and it's my favorite thing Todd Haley has done adjustment-wise. It's an admission that the tackles need help (they ree-hee-hee-illy do), but it did give them that. A chip on a DE does wonders.

14. David Johnson!

What does he have to do to get some love on this sight from someone other than my stupid a$$?

15. IF I SEE ANOTHER VIDEO WHERE MILEY CYRUS IS TWERKING AGAIN, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO DIG MY EYEBALLS OUT! This isn't related, but don't you actually have to have a butt in order to shake it? But, I digress.

16. What is the point of having something called a William Gay?

17. It hurts giving the Viqueens their first win.

18. It seems like Will Johnson is getting healthier. Hope to see him more.

Nothing like having big, athletic bodies.

19. F#ck a B&tch and F%ck you too.

I can't stand people who want to kick Steeers fans while they're down. Cool story bro, your team's never had a down year? Oh they have? But you don't want to talk about that? (again, the question marks. Go ahead and dislocate your shoulder again Shifty.)

20. Mike Tomlin

I still believe in the man. We went to 2 (yes 2) Super Bowls with him as the coach.He's an excellent public speaker with a talent deficient team. Plus he looks like Omar Epps. I got the juice, I go-ot the ju-uice!!!!!!

21. That being said, Bill Cowher was better at evaluating talent.

22. Our best O-lineman (currently, changes by the hour) is the one who has the least snaps as a Steeler.

Is it just me, or is Fernando Velasco kinda fire?

23. Cameron Heyward is getting better every day.

24. The Seahawks will win the Super Bowl.

25. Ike still has hands like a rhinoceros.

But, to me (and I'm dumb), he's one of the best 4 corners in the league.

26. What happened to Ramon Foster?

27. Future is a ridiculous man.

28. So is Chief Keef (young enough that he has room to grow) ... And so is Gucci Mane (old enough that you get what you get)

"When I grow up I wanna be president of Africa, the United States of America, and the universe. Cuz when you in the universe you really in the universe."

29. Adrian Peterson has to do something to embarrass the Steelers every time they play.

30. The Steelers have been running the same defense for essentially 15 years, but things are starting to change.

I like this. The landscape of the NFL is different now, with generally more passing and soft rules. I like seeing more quarter defenses to counter this.

31. Isaac Redman didn't, and doesn't, need to play.

32. Am I missing something with Al Woods? Does he really need to be on the field?

33. I think Antonio Brown is wearing too many hats.

He doesn't need to be a returner/#1 receiver. He's still developing into his role as the top receiver in the offense and should focus on that. He's an excellent returner, but it's just asking too much of him.

34. It's fun to say controversial things.

*Troll alert*

35. How many losses until we start giving Landry Jones some late game snaps?

36. Let's offer the Miami Heat ONE ZILLION dollars and a whole position group for LeBron James.

How cool would this be?

37. I would look up Steelers statistics, but no one likes to see a grown man cry.

These are other things I looked up instead: monitor lizards are modern dinosaurs that can count. Papeete is the capital of Tahiti. Fireworks date back to the 7th century, and Leonidas was a real person.

38. The AFC North is sorry enough this year that the Steelers have a slim hope of scraping together a 9-7 record, and making the playoffs.

39. When is the next time we see an interception, the good kind?

40. 5 sacks (against) is less than one (for).

I threw my shoe at the TV a la the George Bush press conference in Baghdad.

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