Offseason Ramble

Good day to you BTSCers. We find ourselves without playoff hopes for another year. Wow, it’s a little weird to have to be productive on Sunday again. Ahem…

So what is this year’s angle for the Super Bowl? Last year it was brother coaching against brother. The hype possibilities made G.P.A.R.D. Roger Goodell squeal like Brady after a defensive end gets within hailing distance of him (The Seminoles have the Tomahawk Chop, the Patriots have the Flag Flourish). I don’t know how two teams, the Seahawks and the 49ers, got to the NFC championship game without an obvious point of hype. No, really, in today’s NFL this just doesn’t make sense. I see the Manning Brady thing: It may be the last time we get to see Manning creak around behind the line or Brady flourish… Against each other. Savor it. Burn it into your memory and be prepared to tell your grandchildren: "O gosh, todays quarterbacks are okay mind you, but no one could bring his linemen to quad burning tears like Manning and certainly no one could throw a hissy for a flag like Brady, and, oh yeah, they could sling it. Unfortunately, with no real dog in the hunt, I’m leaning quite hard in favor of a Denver-Seattle Super Bowl. Also unfortunately, I feel like there is no way the NFL can pass up a hype opportunity like "Crybrady vs. Crybough". So, the Patriots and the 49ers it is.

What is wrong with the Lions? Jim Caldwell? JIM CALDWELL? I loved what he did for the Ravens! You know they were wishing for Cam back. "Um, fellas, we might have made a mistake…". You think? Not only did the Lions remove the Steelers best weapon on defense when playing the Ravens, they insured that the Ravens don’t have to pay the man a single dime after his inevitable firing. Thanks lions. I’m sure you all have a great future in store for you. And how about Wiz to the Titans? Meh…

I think it’s finally time to admit that if the Bengals win the division, the division just isn’t that good. Yes a few years ago the AFC North was a powerhouse, but not so much anymore. Let’s stop this media induced fantasy that the Bengals are going to take the next step, that they have all the tools and are a really talented team. Could the media just once say it like this: "You know, I think the Bengals win the division this year because the rest of the division was killed in a plane crash."

So, the year ended much better than it started: I found a great woman. She is intelligent, hardworking, caring, pretty and just an all-around catch. Go-the-distance catch… There is one problem, though: She doesn’t like football. To be more precise, she doesn’t even know it exists. I could tell her that Kyle Busch was the designator hitter for the Steelers and she would be good with that. This is not even close to a deal breaker, but, you know, it would have been nice…

As one BTSCer already mentioned, as of now, every player available in the first round has been mocked to the Steelers, within reason. And when I say within reason, I mean the exact opposite. Sure, the Steelers are out of the playoffs, but the draft is FIVE MONTHS away, the season isn’t over, the college players haven’t had their orifices sufficiently probed, douchey media types haven’t talked incompetent GMs into thinking a never-before-heard-of quarterback is the next messiah, and we here at BTSC haven’t come to a consensus on who the Steelers are going to pick (Because that is what really matters). As of now, I’m good with someone mocking a long snapper to us in the first. I think we might get a consensus on that…

What is obviously obvious to me is that Mike Tomlin obviously needs to take a long hard look in the mirror of obviousness. I think it is quite obvious that while the team obviously did better in the second half and that is obviously attributed to Mike Tomlin, it is also obvious that the team underachieved horribly and that is also obviously Tomlin’s fault. Is what I did here obvious to everyone?

Okay, gotta do SOME work.


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