It was like the end of the first act of a cheesy script about the downfall of one's life.
From the start, everything is going well. Excitement over a draft class, positive reviews from camp, these sentiments are powerful enough to make us somehow forget, every single year, drafted players are almost never who we want them to be right out of the box.
Queue the fatalistic line. Something to the effect of, "wow, it seems like we're really starting to get lucky!"
Then, BAM! Second act starts with a major issue. Steelers running backs Le'Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount are busted allegedly smoking pot in their car, from which the motorcycle cop is able to sniff through the exhaust and pungent fuel smells of regular suburban traffic to detect the odor of marijuana.
Supercop (one of the main antagonists) sniffs LeBackfield out, like an Eagles offensive lineman picking up so many bland, vanilla Steelers pass rush attempts. Next thing we know, it's all over the news. About 24 hours before kickoff in the team's third preseason game, their running game has charges coming their way and the dynamic of their real relationship is revealed.
With the team still reeling from that (or at least that's the excuse in the synthesized version of this story), a different version of the team's offense takes the field against Philadelphia. Just five days earlier, the offense was sharp, crisp and explosive. Against the Eagles, it slogged and stuttered, stumbled and shat all over itself.
On its first drive, it immediately set up a third and long, which was converted through great individual effort from tight end Heath Miller. Bell had a nice run, then was knocked into next week by linebacker DeMeco Ryans after he dropped a pass. Picking up the 15 yard penalty, the Steelers would threaten the Eagles territory by invading just two yards into it. A Brad Wing punt into the end zone (48 yards on the kick, net of 28 after the touchback) essentially served as intermission before Acts 1 and 2 of the Eagles offense. They took stage and immediately went back to work.
The dizzying second act of the Steelers' horrifying 36 hours culminated when emotional hero Sean Spence went down with a right knee injury, the opposite leg from his gruesome injury from 2012. As if he didn't work enough on his right side, he had to be maimed in that area now.
Steelers coach Mike Tomlin said he may have a PCL injury, stay tuned for more bad news on that front.
Then Jason Worilds, who's allegedly the best pass rusher the Steelers have, goes down with a knee injury after notching his first sack of the preseason - he touched down Eagles quarterback Mark Sanchez after he slipped, making it the first play in which the Steelers were able to stop the juggernaut Eagles second-team offensive group.
Martavis Bryant rubs a bit of salt into the wound with a drop down the right sideline which was so Sweed-esque it nearly made me sick. Ok, maybe that's a step too far, but the level of sensitivity Steelers fans had by the end of their horrible 31-21 (wasn't that close of a game) loss to the Eagles was high enough to justify most negative hyperbole.
This team did a complete 180 from where it was just five days ago, and all in roughly 36 hours. The offensive spark that was being discussed by hundreds of thousands by the end of the Buffalo game appears now as a mirage, or at least a testament to why Bills fans might be more morose than us. The defense, once thought to be so fast and explosive, taught us if they don't know which direction to run, their speed doesn't matter.
The Steelers had 13 penalties that were accepted by the Eagles. Many others weren't accepted because, despite the penalties (two offsides that went for big gains anyway, for example), the Eagles gained a bunch of yards. Steelers kicker Shaun Suisham is continuing to celebrate his extension by missing mid-range kicks at an alarming rate (his third in three preseason games).
The Steelers were vastly outpaced on both sides of the ball by the Eagles starters, and when Tomlin left the 1s in at the start of the third quarter, expecting a fire to be lit under both sides of the ball, he got to see the offense gain one first down, another shanked Brad Wing punt, and Sanchez march the Eagles 70 yards in 10 plays for a touchdown.
If this doesn't describe how the Steelers' last 36 hours went, nothing else will: Worilds was injured on a play where he collided knee-to-knee with nose tackle Steve McLendon, touched Sanchez when he was on the ground after what appeared to be a blown assignment on the Eagles. It was the Steelers' only sack in the game to that point, but it was erased, because of holding down the field - one of the Steelers' 13 penalties on the game. And then Worilds left with an injury.
What a horrible 36 hours.