clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Momma Rollett's Last-Minute Steelers Shopping Guide

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.


And this isn't just any shopping guide, either. After all, just buying another jersey is so, well, prosaic. So here are my top bright ideas for the Steelers fan who thinks they have everything, after the jump...

For ease of use, I'm going to organize my suggestions in categories that seem logical to me, at least. And what better place to begin than your Steelers Man-Cave? I trust that you already have your Fatheads of Hines and Troy and James, a beer sign or two, and a suitable assortment of Terrible Towels for twirling purposes. But you've only scratched the surface, as you can see from the following suggestions:

I presume that you have comfortable seating furniture - it would scarcely count as a man-cave without that. But what does that seating furniture LOOK like? Have you overlooked the decorative possibilities, as is so often the case in a man-cave? How about a sofa and matching recliner that leaves your guests in no doubt of your allegiance:


But maybe these are a bit more than you can spend. Well, fret no more - you can have your couch reupholstered in the following fabulous fabric:


And if this is still outside your budget constraints, check out the beanbag chair:


Finally, don't forget about the floor - check out this rug. At almost 11'x13', you can reproduce the plays you just saw:


Or, of course, there is always carpet tiles, if the rug doesn't work for you:


Well, let's move out of the man-cave for the moment - the stale beer smell is getting me down anyhow. How about a bit of non-jersey sartorial elegance? Just like our team, it all begins with a good foundation - yes, Steelers socks! -


And to build on this foundation,you need the right underwear. First, for the guys, then for the distaff half:



It seems a shame to cover them up, but decency requires it. To do so in style, check out the following, from Pants 'n At: (Actually, the sweats are from Victoria's Secret. For real...)


Shirts are obviously covered. But you may need a tie, for more formal occasions:


or slippers, for less formal ones:


And to make sure you're covered from toe to head, how about some things for her hair - a set of extensions, and a bow:

Hair_extensions_medium Hairbow_medium

Or, if she is having a bad hair day, how about a statement hat?


So now you're wearing your full Steelers panoply, and you're ready for some web browsing. Make sure you haven't ignored your electronic devices! If you're old-fashioned enough to have a mouse pad, naturally there is a splendid choice of Steelers ones, including this magnificent specimen:


And don't forget to protect your favorite electronic devices! Here's an iPad skin (although you can also find regular covers a la Steelers):


And here's a cell phone case:


In case you want to rock a few tunes while you browse, here's a speaker for your iPod:


Or earbuds, if you need to keep it quiet:


Obviously there are any number of bags, backpacks, and so on - here are a couple of purses I found, for that Steeler lady in your life. The first is for the more conservative ladies:


Pretty cute! This second one is made out of recycled license plates, for the more edgy, adventurous ladies:


Well, this is going on rather longer than I planned, so I'll skip the automotive items, other than to tell you that, naturally, you can get floor mats, steering wheel covers, pull-down baby shades, and hood ornaments, as well as the more usual bumper stickers and logos. I thought I would finish off with some party ideas. First of all, you'll need some nice serving pieces, and here are a few of my favorites: Chipbowl1_medium


If you want something a bit more elegant, try this:


If you're doing a really elegant party, you might want to make black and gold pierogies, like a friend of mine did. (Black ones were colored with squid ink, gold ones with saffron, which is the perfect color.) Alas, I don't have a picture. But whatever goodies you make you will need a tray to transport them:


You'll want to bake a cake. If you're really good with the cake decorating frosting squidgers, here are a couple of ideas:



If you need a bit of help, here's a basic pan:


But enough about us. What about our pets? For that dog or cat in your life, here's a bowl:


I tried to avoid jerseys, but of course your pet needs one. You can also find collars and leashes at


Well, that about wraps up this year's holiday guide. I just want to leave you with some sage advice that I heard on KDKA - "Guys, if you're shopping for lingerie for your wife, check her drawer to make sure what size to get. You don't want to miss either direction. Trust me on this..."

And a very happy Christmas and New Year to all of you!