clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Saturday Morning Sermon: Final Thoughts On Steelers vs. Rams in Week 16

Nothing says "Christmas Eve" like the tar-beating of a 2-win team.

For everything, there is a time. A time for losing. A time for winning. A time for close games.

A time for a complete and thorough physically-brutal waxing of an opponent. That time is now. This St. Louis team is perhaps the worst The Church has ever seen. The Steelers are not playing John McClain at Nakotomi Plaza. They are not playing Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh.

There will be no Christmas Heroics.

  • We are without Brothers Ben, LaMarr, Maurkice and Emmanuel. We focus on who we are, not who are are not. Brothers Charlie, Jason, Doug and Trai will shine in their moment.
  • Something called Kellen Clemens will start under center, and will finish under a pile. His own team's web site spelled his name wrong, that's how much they feel of the journeyman quarterback.
  • This is a running game. Today, Pittsburgh will run the ball. Maybe even more than it passes.
  • St. Louis is mostly a disaster, but DE Chris Long is a ray of hope in an otherwise horrendous season.
  • Multiple takeaways would be helpful, but in the game and from a mental perspective.
Who Wants It?

This is a contract game for Brother Rashard. He's been productive in a limited capacity as of late, but this is the day he busts out. He's angry, he's hungry, he's gonna knock some people down today.

Brother Isaac will be involved as well. While The Church is not involved in the decision-making, it easily points out St. Louis is one of the worst run defenses in football, and the best way to not make the injuries stand out is to suck the air out of the ball and ram what's left of it down their throats.

That's on Mendenhall and Redman. This is a big one for them.

Song Of Choice

There's something powerful in imagery involving powerful cars and acceleration. Rob Zombie's "Dragula" is about a drag-racer from the old sitcom "The Munsters."

Seems weird, considering the rhythmic bass and power chords suggest more of a Harley from "Sons of Anarchy." Either way, digging through ditches, and burning through witches, and slamming in the back of my Dragula sounds pretty bad-ass, and it's a bad-ass day.

Benediction

  • Welcome back, Brother James, may you take your Clubber-Lang-Like aggression out on those who oppose you. And the Rams too.
  • Peace be with you, Brother Charlie, when it doubt, find 84 and find 17. They will guide you.
  • May Brothers Cameron and Steve continue their ascent to greatness by destroying any forward push from St. Louis's overmatched offensive line.
  • May Brother Rashard protect the football. The Church hopes its premonition of a fumble is unfounded.
  • May Brother Marcus handle the aggressive and relentless Chris Long.