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If You Really Think "The Fix Was In" Why Do You Even Watch Sports?


I was at my local laundromat the morning of the Steelers' 2005 season opener when I overheard a couple of guys talking. They were discussing the Rooney family's involvement with horse racing. The one guy said to the other guy, "you ever notice how the Steelers of the 70's never won any of their Super Bowls as convincingly as they should have?" The man, of course, was insinuating that the Steelers could have and should have won each of their four Super Bowls by larger margins but didn't because the Rooneys wanted to earn a little more cash, if you know what I mean? Wow, I always knew the 70's Steelers were good, but I never realized they were so gosh-darn dominant. They were so good, they were even able to control the margin of  their Super Bowl victories.


I found it fitting that I witnessed that conversation because just a few short months later, the 2005 Steelers finally brought home their 5th Super Bowl trophy after defeating the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL. Of course, the Seahawks fans insist that the NFL stole the championship from their team because the possibilities of running back Jerome Bettis returning to his hometown of Detroit to win his only Super Bowl in his final game was just too good to pass up. It's a good thing the NFL did manipulate the outcome of that game because that heartwarming story is all I ever think about. I'm sure the NFL has made billions of dollars from it. I'll bet any day now Hollywood will make a movie about it and the league will make even more money. I'm guessing Denzel Washington will play the part of Bettis. After all, he does have sports-acting experience after starring in "Remember the Titans." All he needs to do is gain the necessary weight to play The Bus and some studio exec will instantly green-light the project.

In 2008, the Pittsburgh Steelers won their record 6th Super Bowl crown after their thrilling victory over the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII. There is one person on youtube who does not think the Steelers were legit champions that season:

Maybe that Cardinals fan should talk to a couple of people from my old flag football team--my brother-in-law and a woman from Baltimore. They're both anti-Steelers to the core so you know any theories they put forth about that game are totally valid. Anyway, one day before one of our flag football games, my brother-in-law and the girl were telling me that the only reason the Steelers won that Super Bowl was because Steelers owner Dan Rooney endorsed President Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential election. You see, the Steelers--the team from one of the swing-states pivotal to the election---defeated the Cardinals--the team from John Mccain's home state--in the Super Bowl. Don't you see it?

Here we all thought Super Bowl XLIII was just a great contest that ultimately brought Pittsburgh another crown. Nope, instead, it was just fixed to represent the Democrats new powerful position over the Republicans in the White House. Both teams had to be in on it. You probably thought the Cardinals were just having a difficult time bringing down James Harrison on his 100-yard interception return. On the contrary, much like the Secret Service escorting President Obama everywhere he goes, Larry Fitzgerald and Company were just escorting Harrison to the endzone. And that awesome ending with Ben Roethlisberger's laser pass and Santonio Holmes tiptoe catch must have taken the entire two weeks to choreograph. I'll bet President Obama helped them practice that play. I wonder if he was credited as executive producer of Super Bowl XLIII.

I should feel a little cheated as a fan, but when I think about it, the 2012 Presidential election is right around the corner. Maybe Mr. Rooney will endorse Obama again. If he does, that would surely mean a 7th Lombardi for Pittsburgh. Also, since Obama rewarded Dan Rooney's loyalty by naming him Ambassador to Ireland, maybe he'll name Dick Lebeau Secretary of Defense this time around. How awesome would that be?  And lastly, by 2015, President Obama will be a lame duck President and we all know how Presidents in their last days in office love to throw around pardons and pass bills like no tomorrow. Maybe Obama will reward the Steelers with an 8th Super Bowl in 2016.

Moving on.

Right after Super Bowl XLV, someone posted on BTSC that he had it on good-authority that the NFL did not want the Steelers to win the Super Bowl because of Ben Roethlisberger's sexual assault allegations prior to the 2010 season. So that explains why the Steelers lost. That explains why Maurkice Pouncey was hurt in the AFC Championship game. The NFL didn't want him to play in the Super Bowl. They wanted Doug Legursky to replace him so the Steelers could get dominated up-the-middle. This, of course, led to Roethlisberger's hand getting struck as he threw his pick-six. And when Kevin Greene told Clay Matthews, "it's time", Matthews knew what he meant. Shortly after that, he caused Mendenhall to fumble. It was all part of the master plan by the NFL. I'll bet that's why the Steelers' secondary couldn't stop Aaron Rodgers the entire game. How dare you, NFL. How dare you take away Pittsburgh's Lombardi!

Speaking of people that obtained information on good-authority, I recently posted something about former Steelers quarterback Neil O'Donnell and one commenter stated that he talked to several sources who said O'Donnell was involved in fixing Super Bowl XXX. You remember that game? Of course, you do. The two awful interceptions. It's obvious O'Donnell did that on-purpose. He was on the take. O'Donnell is from Jersey. New Jersey is known for having their share of goodfellas. In-fact, I have it on good-authority that O'Donnell is one of those goodfellas and his real name isn't even O'Donnell. It's Neil "The Deal" AKA "The Pick" Donnelli. He intentionally threw Super bowl XXX and then fled to his home state of New Jersey to play for the Jets. You would think that being a Super Bowl-winning quarterback and receiving life-long glory and adulation from the City of Pittsburgh, as well as a huge contract from the Rooneys, would have been enough for Donnelli. But instead, he wanted to fix Super Bowl XXX for cold-hard cash and live out the rest of his days in quiet luxury. He's probably in the witness protection program now. How can you live with yourself, Donnelli?

The NFL doesn't just have a master-plan for Super Bowls that involve the Steelers. No, my brother told me that he heard (on good-authority, mind you), that the NFL wanted the Patriots to win Super Bowl XXXVI because of what happened on September 11th, 2001. The Patriots/America. Don't you see the connection there? It makes perfect sense. The league wanted the PATRIOTS to be the face of their league to show the world that AMERICA was still united and strong after the tragic events. Rumor has it that the NFL was in negotiations for the Cowboys--America's team, get it?--to represent the league, but apparently, Jerry Jones wanted to be ruler of Arkansas as part of the deal. Anyway, that's the only reason the Patriots were allowed to defeat the Steelers and the Rams that year. Maybe that's why commissioner Goodell destroyed all the Spygate tapes.

This stuff doesn't just happen in the NFL. It happens in all sports-leagues, even at the collegiate level. Did you know that the Big East Conference wanted the West Virginia Mountaineers to defeat the lowly Pitt Panthers in 2007 because WVU had a chance to play in the BCS National Championship game? It's true. That's why the officials were making questionable calls against the Panthers the entire night. Little did the Big East know that eer's coach Rich Rodriguez wanted to coach Michigan and he intentionally blew the Pitt game. Why would Rodriguez want a National Title on his resume? Furthermore, why would Michigan want to hire a coach that just won a National Title? Rodriguez had to throw the game. He had no choice. It makes total sense. You see, it wasn't the Panthers that ruined the Mountaineers season, it was Rich Rod.

Okay, seriously, before I give you a headache with more of this nonesense, I'll stop.

But let me ask you a question: If you really think that sporting events are fixed, why do you even bother watching at all? If games are determined based-on orders handed down by high above, wouldn't that put sports on par with WWE or any other scripted show? I know sports is entertainment, but it's not THAT kind of entertainment.

Like Myron Cope used to say, it's the allure of the unknown that's so appealing to fans. It's why we watch sports.

When a producution company prepares and rehearses for a show, if everyone hits their marks and the entire crew is doing their job and pulling on the same rope, they're almost always going to put on a great show.

What's so fascinating about sports is even if one team prepares and plays together and pulls on the rope, there's another team who prepared the same way and is trying to pull the rope in the other direction.

If you sit down to watch your favorite show, chances are, you're going to be entertained. However, when you sit down to watch an intense playoff game, you have no idea how you're going to be feeling in three-hours, but you know it'll either be great or awful. Being a sports fan is totally unique to any other form of entertainment.

If it was ever discovered that team owners, general managers, conference presidents, television executives, and even politicians were getting together to pre-determine the outcome of games and seasons,  sports as we know it would eventually cease to exist and we'd lose that totally unique feeling that being a sports fan gives us.

Do you really want that, you dummkopfs? (Thanks Myron). Obviously, nobody wants that.

I think the real reason we like to think that sporting-events are pre-determined is because it makes a loss a little easier to deal with. I mean, it's fans of the teams that lose the big games that normally make those kinds of accusations, right? It's like a defense mechanism. Nobody likes to admit that their team was inferior, even for a moment. We always think our team will come out on top. I think I can speak for a lot of Steelers fans when I say that we believe in things like good karma, fate, and deja vu. No matter what, our team will prevail.

No matter how bad the Steelers looked at times during Super Bowl XLV, Steeler Nation had no doubt that Big Ben would eventually come to the rescue. Unfortunately, he didn't. The Packers pulled on the rope just a little harder than the Steelers. It was just devastating. I know the second Roethlisberger's 4th down pass fell incomplete, I turned the game off. I just couldn't bear to watch the Packers hoist that trophy. It just seems so final, right? All the weeks of hoping and praying and it's another team and city that gets to bask in the glow of ultimate victory.

Sometimes, it's much easier to think that things weren't totally on the up-and-up rather than deal with the fact that another team was better than yours.

However, I think if we all look deep within our heart of hearts, we'd probably admit that about 99.9% of sporting events that have been played over the last century or so have been totally legit; yes, even the ones that our teams lost. Well, except for the 1972 AFC Championship Game. Everyone knows the fix was in for that game. I mean, the Steelers--the future greatest dynasty of all-time--playing at home the week after the Immaculate Reception? No way should they have lost that game. The NFL wanted the Miami Dolphins to win and finish their season undefeated. My friend's brother's girlfriend's cousin is the hair-stylist for the wife of Dolphin's legend Nick Buoniconti and she has it on good-authority that this is all true.


Most of what I wrote here today was totally tongue'n' cheek (well, except the stuff about the Dolphins), so please, ladies and gentlemen, no wagering.

Oh, and I know I mentioned the President but I was joking so no arguing over politics (although, I really do think it would be awesome if Dick Lebeau was the Secretary of Defense).

Thank you and good night!