clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

10 things you absolutely did not know about the Seahawks, 49ers, Broncos and Patriots

There's no way you've heard about these 10 storylines heading into the AFC and NFC Championship games.

Doug Pensinger
The Seahawks and 49ers are BIG rivals

Because Seattle and San Francisco play in the same division, and they're both good, we accept them as the premier rivalry in all of sports - outside the Yankees and Red Sox of course. And why are they big rivals? Because they talk trash to each other.

Their coaches even talk trash to each other. Just imagine the level of rivalry if either of these teams actually won a Super Bowl. We could only speak of the rivalry in hushed tones out of fear it became alive, and talked a whole buncha trash.

CenturyLink Stadium in Seattle is LOUD

And I mean LOUD. So loud, they cause earthquakes. Or is it because all of their fans start jumping in a stadium built an what appears to be some kind of fault line? Either way, the place is LOUD. Is it ironic you'll hear about how loud it is in a regular speaking voice, but you'll read about how loud it is in ALL CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS?!?

It's really loud.

Seattle owns the concept, idea, invention, subsidiary rights and all properties therein of a metaphorical 12th Man, who represents the amount of noise in their stadium

No one cranks out team support like the Seahawks fans. Remember, it's loud in there and they cause earthquakes. You'll hear about these things again soon, in case you forget.

The 12th Man concept is original, unique, clever, not at all cliche and inspiring. It's cool to have the jersey. Everyone wants to salute the flag.

Jim Harbaugh is witty, calm and entertaining

You won't enjoy listening to anyone in post-game interviews, and no one appears in more control on the sideline. He's the paradigm of realistic and centered leadership. Motivating his team by pointing out his fourth-year wide receiver Michael Crabtree has the greatest hands in history, as well as his heroic acceptance of defeat in last year's Super Bowl (with poise and dignity) makes him the easiest coach in the league to root for.

Tom Brady is playing Peyton Manning

Let the platitudes roll. It's Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, which is very Brady and Manning, but it's still Manning and Brady. Brady will face the Manning for the Bradyth time since 20-Brady-0-Manning. But the Brady will have to overcome the Manning and Manning's Manning. If Brady can't Manning Manning's third Manning, it could be a Manning-like finish with plenty of Brady.

Omaha Steaks is talking about an endorsement deal with Peyton Manning

Can you believe it? Manning yells "Omaha!" 47 times during a dull playoff game against the listless Chargers, and a company exploits the publicity by linking itself with the headline news. Nevermind the fact the game was so boring we literally were talking about presnap chatter more than the plays themselves, all that matters is how crazy it was. I mean, Mike & Mike only talked about it for 79 percent of their show last week. It's that funny, and there's no way you knew about this.

The Patriots ran the ball last week

New England head coach Bill Belichick turned back the clocks all the way to the 16th century by enacting a tradition known by the ancient druids as "running the football." It was so surprising, even knowing Indianapolis had one of the worst run defenses in the league last year and the Patriots' receivers are roughly on par with all those chumbalones who wore Free Hernandez hats (ahem) this summer.

Knowshon Moreno used to suck but now he doesn't

He cried on TV, he had a great Fantasy season and Peyton Manning gives him the ball a lot (by deductive reasoning, we also feel he must know what "OMAHA!" means). What more do we want than humanistic emotion, Fantasy Football and Peyton Manning?

The Super Bowl is going to be played in cold weather

And it might snow! Could you imagine a Super Bowl in the snow? More like the Wacky Bowl! The outrage from fans and corporate sponsors in attendance is sure to scar the Goodell Regime forever - even if the promise of giving New York a Super Bowl was the only reason their $1.3 billion stadium was built.

Peyton Manning had neck surgery

If you paid close enough attention, you probably learned enough about the condition and the surgery to correct Manning's messed up neck. But he came all the way back from the brink of retirement to audible his opponents' to death, en route to his 19th consecutive NFL MVP award - which hasn't been given yet, but arrived at Manning's house via FedEx last week. He'll also pick up his fourth consecutive Comeback Player of the Year award, which, starting this year, is a trophy along with a box of Omaha steaks.