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October 6, 1979, two days after Hawaii Five-O aired Episode 1 of its 12th and final season
Realistic Hawaii Five-O fan: I don't know why CBS decided to bring this show back for another year. Jack Lord is pushing 60 freakin' years old. James MacArthur (Danno) had the good sense to hang'em up after last season, and Kam Kong (Chin Ho) and Zulu (Kono) left a long time ago. Watching Lord, at his age, try to portray this tough cop is kind of ridiculous. I think the window has closed on this once-great series and I wish the network would have just canceled it before this season.
Optimistic HFO fan #1: Jeez, who p***ed in your Waffelos this morning?
Optimistic HFO fan #2: Yeah, seriously. Are you a network producer? Are you a writer? I was unaware of your credentials in the television industry.
Optimistic HFO fan #1: Age is just a number, my friend, and nobody in the history of television has ever played a cop the way Jack Lord has played Steve McGarrett for the past 11-plus seasons. Also, nobody knows Hawaii better than Lord. That, along with his incredible dedication and work-ethic, will elevate the new cast members, such as William Smith and Sharon Farrell, and I look for the show to finish in the top-5 this season and continue on for several more!
Optimistic HFO fan #2: I hear CBS is considering some new private-detective show that will also be filmed in Hawaii and will star some youngin' named Tom Selleck. I also hear he's up for the role of Indiana Jones in the new movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. He better take that role, because HFO will be around for a long time and will blow any new show out of the water!
Optimistic HFO fan #1: Totally! I don't know why Jack Lord isn't being considered for the role of Indiana Jones. Nobody does action and adventure like that man. He's the best!
September 24, 1983, three days before Happy Days begins what will be its 11th and final season
Realistic Happy Days fan: I don't have a good feeling about Happy Days this season. Sure, ABC brought back Erin Moran (Joanie) and Scott Baio (Chachi), but, in my opinion, they were part of the problem with this show in recent years. Anyway. I mean for God's sake, Baio wears feathered hair, and the show is supposed to be set in the 1950s! This show was originally centered around Ron Howard's portrayal of Richie Cunningham and, after he left, it was all downhill from there. It has long-since jumped the shark and should have been canceled years ago.
Optimistic Happy Days fan: What does "jump the shark" mean? Anyway, are you out of your mind? This show has always been about the Fonz, baby! I'm glad Howard left. In my opinion, he added nothing to the series and once Fonzie became the main focus, the show went up a few notches. I'm sick of the naysayers and the gloom-and-doomers. This show hasn't lost its original focus and will be on for many more years to come! They should add Robin Williams to the cast full-time, so we can have more Mork!
April 3, 1990, just days before Fleetwood Mac are set to release their first album without Lindsey Buckingham
Realistic Fleetwood Mac fan: I don't have a good feeling about Behind the Mask. And it's not just because Lindsey Buckingham is gone, either. I mean, who is Billy Burnette? Who is Rick Vito? Why even bother with a new album without such an integral part of what made your band so successful?
Optimistic FM fan #1: Excuse me? I didn't realize you could see into the future and that you were such an expert on music.
Optimistic FM fan #2: Yeah, do I really need to hear this kind of stuff right before their album is released? FM's music has been the soundtrack to my life for nearly two-decades, and Mick Fleetwood wouldn't have added Burnette and Vito to the band if he didn't think they were capable of generating the same success as when Buckingham was involved.
Optimistic FM fan #1: Totally. We should give it time before we write off this album. There are 13 songs to go! I'm excited about Burnette and Vito, and I think they can take FM to a whole new level! I look for this new album to equal or surpass the success of Rumours!
Optimistic FM fan #2: Yeah baby, 20 million copies! That's what we do around here!
Sometime in 1997, just days after Baywatch Nights completed its second and final season
Realistic Baywatch Nights detractor: What a piece of crap this show is. It was bad enough they decided to spin-off Baywatch into a detective show in the first place, but to totally change the format to science fiction in the second season? What does that have to do with beaches, blondes and brunettes? Hopefully, I've seen the last episode of this crap-fest.
Over-the-top Baywatch Nights fanatic: Are you crazy? This is the best show on TV today! Have you ever starred in a show with Pamela Anderson and Nicole Eggert? Didn't think so. Nobody does television like David Hasselhoff (not a bad singer, either), and I look for Baywatch Nights to be on well into the 2000s! Take your negativity elsewhere!
October 13, 1990, two days after Erika Alexander (cousin Pam) joined the cast for The Cosby Show's 7th season
Fed-up The Cosby Show fan: I've had it with this show! First, we get little Olivia (Raven-Symone) last season, who brought along Martin, her father. And now we have cousin Pam and all of her friends? I don't care about them. I want More Cliff and Clair. I want Theo and Rudy!
Unaware what happens when shows jump the shark The Cosby Show Fan: I'm sorry, I didn't know you knew more than Bill Cosby when it came to casting, directing, writing, etc. Mr. Cosby puts people in place who can do the job. Nobody knows cute little kids like The Cos, and if he thinks Raven-Symone can be the next Rudy, who are you to judge? As for cousin Pam, I'm really excited about what she can bring to the mix this season and for several more!
March 7, 1980, three days before NBC brings back Sanford and Son minus the Son
Realistic fan of the old hit show, Sanford and Son: What is NBC thinking? And why would Redd Foxx agree to come back and revive a show that saw its best days three years ago? And where's Lamont? Where's Bubba and Grady? They have some big fat white guy as the co-star? No wonder NBC is in last place in the ratings. Right now, I'm mixing bad and stupid. I call it b-tupid.
Optimistic fan of the old hit show, Sanford and Son #1: Jeez, who p***ed in your Sugar Smacks this morning?
Optimistic fan of the old hit show, Sanford and Son #2: Yeah, it hurts me when a legendary actor and comedian such as Redd Foxx gets criticized and ridiculed. How would you like five of these across your lip, you big dummy? Nobody did edgy comedy like Foxx back in his original portrayal of Fred G. Sanford from 1971-1977. NBC has been missing that edge ever since they pulled the plug on S&S three years ago. So what if the show is just Sanford now? So what if Lamont is now a big white guy named Cal? It'll be better than ever!
Optimistic fan of the old hit show, S&S #1: Yeah, the network was out to get Foxx, as were the producers, who refused to give him a raise in salary until he held out in the third season. Now that he's back, he's back with a vengeance, and those network execs better watch out!
Optimistic fan of the old hit show, S&S #2: Old Ready-Freddy is back! So excited! I've been listening to his old comedy albums from the 1940s all day to get ready for his return!