My mind works different than others. I sometimes ponder the significance of the insignificant. I operate in the inappropriate and most wonder why I wonder. When it comes to the Pittsburgh Steelers and everything else, I try and think outside of the bun. With another week of Steeler Exhibition Football in the books, my head is swirling in a see of idiocy. Grab an oar and help me navigate through the black and gold waters of my mind.
- After a stellar outing in New Orleans, I think we've seen all that we need to see out of Ben Roethlisberger, Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown in exhibition action. The only thing I want to see those guys do in Charlotte this Thursday is enjoying Carolina BBQ.
- Inspired by a posting in last week's comment section by Steeler Fever, I made the unfortunate misjudgment in referring to my seven-year-old ginger as "Dirty Red". If you've ever met her, it fits. But I think it's safe to say that Tyler Matakevich responds better to the moniker than my wife and daughter. On the bright side, the Steeler couch that I bought off of Craig's List is pretty darned comfortable.
- The landscape of the NFL is one in which one bad stretch can kill an entire season. Losing Ben Roethlisberger for merely two to three games can drastically hinder playoff hopes and Super Bowl dreams. That's why the backup position is so crucial? Those of you that believe Landry Jones could fill in and win games in any amount of a Ben absence, probably think that the American actress portraying Bridget Jones does a pretty remarkable British accent. (Good gravy! It's horrendous). Hey, I wonder if Renee Zellweger can play quarterback.
- The odds of Mark Sanchez seeing action in Denver are the equivalent of the air in the Mile High city. In another week, he's going to be more available than fish on Friday. That's a reliable backup QB option for the Steelers though. Plus, the possible of "Dirty Red" being on the same roster as a Sanchez will make for some great comic banter.
- Fox analyst Jay Glazer is reporting that the 49ers are likely to cut Colin Kaepernick after his refusal to stand during the National Anthem. Don't expect the Steelers or any other team to sign Kaepernick right now, regardless of needs. This is too much of a powder keg issue, and a public relations nightmare at this time.
- Alejandro Villanueva's comments regarding the Colin Kaepernick/National Anthem controversy were very classy. The former Army Ranger shed a thoughtful and objective light on the situation, while firmly standing up for the United States of America. Regardless of Big Al's success on the gridiron, his military service and his response to this situation reaffirm him as a hero in my mind.
- Regarding great nicknames, calling a defensive lineman "Gravedigger" is awesome. The owner of that name, Javon Hargrave, is going to solidify that line and make it one of the better d-lines in Steeler lore.
- George Lucas' original name for his young Jedi in Star Wars was Luke Starkiller. When it comes to drafting fantasy players, I am Bryan Starkiller. My top players have the worst season of heir lives under my tutelage. (Yep, Andrew Luck in the first round last year). Luckily I missed out on Antonio Brown by one pick in my draft. I will gladly accept your gift-cards and letters.
- Speaking of Fantasy Football. If you happen to run into an NFL player, the only thing they'd rather hear uttered than "you need to take this paternity test" is "you're on my fantasy team". Nothing's going to halt the convo faster. What are you hoping to hear anyways? "Thank you for having enough faith to draft me.", "I'm sorry I haven't performed to your expectations. I'll do better I promise." or "Here's some money to cover the cost of the league fees and potential prize money that I deprived you of." are things that you will never hear in that situation. Most likely response, "Well, I've got to go over there now".
- Despite the four-game suspension, and possible weight issues, I think Karlos Williams would be a great addition to the Steeler offense. I hope it happens. Vince's brother is a punishing back that scored seven times in limited action last year for Buffalo. I'm getting an Ernest Jackson kind of feeling here.
- The defense continues to impress with speed and toughness. With the exception of having trouble defending seam routes, the D looked as mighty as the O in the Big Easy.
- Chris Boswell could be the man with the golden-toe for the next decade. The third time was definitely a charm for Steeler kicking fortunes last year.
- In recent advertisements, it was revealed that the "Can you hear me now?" guy has left Verizon as a free agent to join forces with Sprint. Have the Steelers had a free agent signing as significant as that one lately? How's his 40-time?
- Waiting for Senquez Golson and Artie Burns to see any action in a game has been painful. It feels like meeting a beautiful woman (or dude). You are elated that they agree to go out on a date with you and they seem into it themselves. Then you wait in anticipation as they cancel on you over and over again, until you finally give up and find yourself gently weeping on the couch with a bagful of Arby's and "Bridget Jone's Something or Other" on Netflix. You never experienced that? Oh, Uh.....me neither. I've got to go over there now.
I wonder what Calvin Sweeney is doing these days.
Until next week,
"Be Excellent To Each Other".
-Ted Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire (1989)