Steelers vs. Browns, Week 17: Bizarre and bold predictions from a black-and-gold mind

The Texans game may have been the most predictable Steeler contest of the season and I still only managed to get only two sort-of right (Cam's two sacks and JuJu's Christmas-themed pantomime). Hey, that's a record. So, I’ll scour the recesses of my brain trying to once again predict the Steelers’ future.

My predictions were really off-base all the way around, but I remain resilient and will give it another shot with the latest realistic and bizarre batch of Bizarre and Bold Predictions from a Black-and-gold Mind: Browns Part Deux Edition.

• Just for old times sake, James Harrison arrives to Heinz Field to learn that he's inactive and leaves the stadium in a rage. He gets to Foxborough just in time to channel said rage into 2 sacks.
• Josh Gordon shows how dominant he can be when he's not high and torches the Steelers secondary for two scores.
• Myles Garrett, looking to fulfill his draft day prophecy of "chopping down Ben Rothlisberger", hits the inactive Steeler QB illegally on the sideline. However, he is not penalized for the transgression.
• Only one person shows up to Heinz Field sporting a Landry Jones jersey and is vehemently pummeled. That person...Landry Jones.
• Although never at all mistaken for Lev Bell, Stevan Ridley rushes for 70 yards and a score.
• More than one fan remarks "Vance McDonald could be like Heath Miller n'at if he could only stay healthy".
• Vance McDonald gets injured.
• The Steelers average of 30 points-per-game since the bye week goes by the wayside.
• The Steelers struggle without their regulars and fail to capture their 13th win of 2017 as the Browns get their first by the score of 20-16.

Very few of these will be right, but the scenarios in my head might happen—in some alternate universe.