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Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind: Denigrating-all-things-Cincy Edition

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BTSC's crazy cranium goes 1979 Michael Jackson (Off The Wall) with inane Steelers ramblings.

Pittsburgh Steelers v Cincinnati Bengals Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images

It was most definitely a huge step towards destiny when the Steelers defeated Kansas City on the road last week. Now they face their annoying rivals from the Queen City. As always, my mind of black-and-gold synapses is a mosh pit of maniacal meanderings. I shall share them with you. But first, let me flush a swirlie of sorries through your mullet as I apologize to those who took offense to last week's column.

  • Geraldo Rivera
  • Forecasting the future man tatas of our franchise quarterback
  • Referencing the school weirdo. If that was you, sorry.
  • Posting a half naked picture of Dallas' Patrick Duffy in the shower.
  • Insinuating that your wife is running off with a guy named Julio.
  • Julio
  • Bob Kohrs
  • Mentioning Weird Science without a reference to the late, great Bill Paxton

And now, Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind:

  • You know the typical scene in the Friday the 13th movie series? The female Crystal Lake camper snuggles up seemingly safe in a tent with her boyfriend (thinking that all of the madness is over) only to see a knife tear through the tent and lop her dude's head clean-off. That's what it felt like after the Chiefs game when Ian Rappaport broke the Martavis Bryant "trade request" rumor. Just when you thought the team was together in unity, something else comes in to distract from just playing.
NFL: Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
  • I'm not sure what to think of the report that Martavis has requested a trade. Mike Tomlin claims it’s not a distraction, while Bryant received props on coming out and claiming that he's happy, but is he? Farrah Fawcett's character of Francine Hughes claimed to be happy in 1984's The Burning Bed, but then she set her abusive husband ablaze while he was counting sheep. There are too many moving parts in this one. When did he allegedly claim this? It wasn't directly after the big win. Was it a case of a rogue agent? That's what has surfaced, but agents aren't that stupid...are they? Why was his girlfriend spouting off on social media? Huge red flag. All this and more on the next episode of Search For Lombardi.
  • I'm wondering if we'll see an attempt at a big play to Bryant early on against Cincy. It would be the squeaky-wheel theory at its finest.
  • I'm starting to think that hanging the moniker of "Team Turmoil" on this 2017 Pittsburgh Steelers team would be fitting. Nothing comes closer to defining their identity than that.
  • If Ann Robinson were to visit the Steelers locker room, she would surely single out the triumvirate of tight ends that is James, McDonald and Grimble. I can hear it now, "Jesse, Vance and X-Man...you are the weakest link."
  • Speaking of the tight ends, I’d like to see the team make a concerted effort to get them—especially McDonald—more opportunities. McDonald's blocking has been exceptional and he proved last Sunday that, deep in their own end, he can be a weapon.
  • Mike Mitchell was fined $57K for his hits on Carchandrick West and Alex Smith. I don't think that was nearly enough. His antics, while not solely, are a contributing factor in the Steelers becoming more unlikeable.
  • Sean Davis had a good rookie season, but his performance has grown leaps and bounds in 2017. He’s morphing in to a more-than-solid leader in the secondary.
  • So the Bengals prepared for their Sunday trip to Heinz Field by playing "Renegade" by Styx in practice. If this gives them an advantage in any way, I'd be surprised. What do the Steelers need to do when preparing for Paul Brown Stadium? I guess they would have to pump in whiny sounds of persecution and simulate a mass exodus from the stadium in the early part of the fourth quarter. Who Dey?
  • Who Dey is the Nickleback of team slogans.
  • I don't understand why Cincy residents think that Cincinnati-style chili is so innovative. It's basically spaghetti and meat sauce with beans. Not that hard. Pittsburgh has pierogies and sandwiches with fries and slaw on it. That's innovation.
  • I actually despise Bengals fans more than Ravens supporters. It's the equivalent of realizing that Draco Malfoy is tolerable as long as Lord Voldemort is lurking.
  • Speaking of Baltimore and Cincinnati. I actually like the Orioles and hate the Reds. Queen City...you’re losing.
  • The only thing good about Cincy is WKRP and that was fictional and filmed in Los Angeles.
  • B.J. Finney looks to be the heir apparent to Ramon Foster and he’s played well in his absence. But against a formidable front like that of the Bengals...not having Foster is dangerous.
Pittsburgh Steelers v Baltimore Ravens Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images

And finally,

  • I wonder what Jahine Arnold is doing these days.

With all that being said, Mike Tomlin teams seem to get stronger after adversity. Since I haven’t paid tribute to the late Tom Petty, please absorb the lyrics of "I Won't Back Down" .

Well, I won't back down

No, I won't back down

You can stand me up at the gates of hell

But I won't back down

No, I'll stand my ground

Won't be turned around

And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground

Take that for what it's worth....and Go Steelers!