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Bizarre and Bold Predictions: Steelers vs. Packers Week 12

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Spinoff alert. BTSC's resident lunatic attempts to go all-Dionne Warwick and predict happenings in the Week-12 affair with the Packers.

Tennessee Titans v Pittsburgh Steelers Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images

Everybody loves spinoffs—from After M*A*S*H* to Flo to Checkin' In (Florence from the Jeffersons becomes a maid in a hotel run by M*A*S*H*'s Larry Linville) to Joannie Loves Chachi to Joey. (There's more, I know.) So with those successes in mind, I’m spinning off my own work...Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind with a prediction piece in that same spirit. Half are legit predictions, while the others are bizarre attempts at humor. Could it work? Yes. Will it work? Google The Tortellis. But at least give it a look. I mean the article, not the 1987 dimwitted submission from the creators of Cheers.

And now, welcome to Bizarre and Bold Predictions From a Black-and-Gold Mind.

  • Artie Burns: Pick Six
  • An injured JuJu Smith-Schuster further aggravates his hammy when he joins in on a TD celebration while wearing street clothes.
  • Le'Veon Bell gains two hundred total yards from scrimmage against a depleted Packers defense.
  • In an attempt to outdo last week's ode to a Bud Light ad with his audible of "Dilly Dilly", Ben Roethlisberger absorbs a costly delay-of-game penalty while dancing with a Reuben sandwich from Subway as the linemen sing "Rock Around The Clock".
NFL: Tennessee Titans at Pittsburgh Steelers Philip G. Pavely-USA TODAY Sports
  • Aaron Rodgers has a better percentage with commercials then Brett Hundley does with passes.
  • Mike Tomlin shocks everybody by being satisfied with the amount of "splash plays" and "style points" in his post-game presser.
  • Chris Boswell kicks four field goals, one from 51.
  • Antonio Brown reveals his 15-month-old love child conceived from his tryst with the goal post at Heinz Field nearly two years ago this week against Indy on SNF.
  • The Steelers eclipse 30-points for a second week in a row with a 33-16 win.
  • Despite a decisive win, Steeler fans will complain that it won't be enough to beat New England.

That's ten predictions, how many will actually be right may be the only cliff-hanger from the Week-12 showdown with the Green Bay Packers.

Or maybe not.