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Bold Predictions from a Black-and-gold mind: Bengals Edition

Crazy predictions for the Steelers’ Week-13 tilt with rival Cincinnati.

NFL: Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers Philip G. Pavely-USA TODAY Sports

Everybody predicts the outcome of games. That's typical. In this spinoff of Random Thoughts From a Black and Gold Mind, typical would be cliche’, nice and easy. Like Ike and Tina, we like to do it nice and rough...and a tad bizarre.

Last week, the closest we came to being right was the victory over Green Bay and Boswell's plus-50 kick, but we were way off the rest of the way.

And now, welcome to Bizarre and Bold Predictions From a Black-and-Gold Mind.

  • A.J. Green drops 250 yards on the Steelers’ secondary.
  • In honor of Queen City cuisine, Ben Roethlisberger shouts out "Chili Chili" in his cadence.
  • In a battle of backs, Le'Veon Bell out-gains rookie Joe Mixon in total yards.
  • After Bell's lone rushing TD, Juice mocks Mixon by punching a wig-wearing JuJu Smith-Schuster in the face.
  • Vontaze Burfict takes a cheap shot at a Steelers player trying to end his season and gets flagged. Blind Bengal fans complain that he is being persecuted.
  • Cam Heyward ups his sack total to 10 1/2 with 1.5 more of Andy Dalton.
  • Vontaze Burfict wields a machete at a Steelers player trying to end his season and gets ejected. Dismayed Bengal fans complain that he was goaded into it by Joey Porter.
  • Tyler Kroft will score a TD on the Steelers.
  • Vontaze Burfict attempts to disembowel a Steelers player trying to ruin his week and gets fined. Ignorant Bengal fans start a Go Fund Me page for No. 55.
  • Jon Gruden actually comes close to criticizing a player. Thinks better of it.
  • Martavis Bryant has a solid night returning kicks and cements the job for the remainder of the season.
  • The Bengals play inspired enough to win 34-23 to drop the Steelers to 9-3 and their fans are even more insufferable than usual.

That's twelve predictions, how many will actually be right may be in question. Or maybe not.