Last week, when the Steelers took on Cincinnati, everybody knew it was going to be physical. How physical and out-of-hand it actually got seems more like fiction than the reality it was. No one really predicted that.
My predictions were really off-base all the way around. But I remain resilient and will give it another shot with the latest realistic and bizarre batch of Bold Predictions From a Black-and-Gold Mind.
- Le'Veon Bell and Alex Collins each have 100-yard games and a TD. Bell's celebration rates higher on the applause-o-meter.
- After his nearly meaningless game against the Bears, Vontaze Burfict combs Expedia to find a cheap flight to Pittsburgh in order to storm into Heinz Field, goad Le'Veon Bell into a penalty and attempt to injure Ben Roethlisberger. It's the last meaningful contest he'll appear in for the remainder of the season.
- Antonio Brown reaches the 100 catch-osphere for the fifth-straight season with 12 catches and another TD.
- Mike Tomlin hires a hypnotist to mesmerize his entire team in to thinking that the opening kickoff is actually the second-half kickoff.
- Vince Williams, inspired by the absence of his running-mate Ryan Shazier, runs wild and leads the team in tackles and sacks against Baltimore.
- Joe Flacco's secret identity as Vincent Crabbe from the Harry Potter series is compromised when the Slytherin sidekick is flagged fifteen yards for using the stupefying charm on Artie Burns.
- Justin Tucker and Chris Boswell both hit 50-plussers, and combine for eight field goals deep into the Heinz Field night.
- Multiple members of the Pittsburgh media ask Mike Tomlin if he still considers Mike Wallace to be a "one-trick pony" after he leads the Ravens in catches.
- John Harbaugh does, or says, something really douchey.
- Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers pull off another fourth quarter come-from-behind victory 29-24.
Very few of these will be right, but the scenarios in my head could happen...in some universe.