Thank all things Tim Tebow and Swiss cheese, training camp is here. I was going bonkers without football. So bemoaningly bonkers that you wouldn't believe some of the ponderings permeating from my pons. It's your lucky day, I'm sharing them with you and the twelve other people that clicked here by accident or not.
But first I feel compelled to apologize for the apples of anger that I may have shot my arrow of idiocy through while resting on your head. So, barkeep, a lager of lament to and for all that I may have chagrined the last time around.
- Making most of you to have to google Mills Lane
- Insinuating that Ivan Lendel was boring
- Labeling Joey Fatone as the weak link of *Nsync
- The actual referencing of *Nsync
- Bemoaning Lethal Weapon 4 on VHS and a trip to Cracker Barrell as a bad birthday gift
- Mel B.
And Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
Now on with random thoughts from a black and gold mind...
- I have no problem with Antonio Brown showing up to training camp in an ultra-expensive luxury car that 99% of Steeler fans couldn't afford, but the more I think about it...how original is the idea? Didn't Willie Mays Hayes do it back in 1989 at Indians camp in Arizona.
- I loved James Harrison showing up in a fire truck to camp. While even though AB is loved, Deebo seems more relatable rolling in on big red. A part of me wanted to see him break out the hose and spray down the media much like Pittsburgh's Kurt Angle and the milk truck spray down on August 20, 2001.
- Senquez Golson sustained an injury early-on in camp. This just in...water is wet. Seriously though, any lengthy absence for the former second-rounder will greatly hamper this kid's chance to make the team. The Steelers philosophy regarding what they'll get out of Golson seems to be a state of "nothing but gravy" at this point.
- I want to see Martavis Bryant back on the field more desperately than Ralphie wanted "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle" in A Christmas Story. No. 10 says he is "close" to getting back on the field according to Aditi Kinkhabwala of the NFL network. This whole thing seems odd to me, I'm not going to breathe easy until I see Bryant and his extra twenty pounds in pads.
- Speaking of Kinkhabwala. Isn't that a Kid Rock song? Sing it with me..."Kinkhabwala, da bang, da dang diggy diggy diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie".
- Speaking of Robert Ritchie, he's ahead in the polls for the GOP Senate seat in Michigan. I'd like to channel another Kid Rock song on what Michiganians are thinking..."God Only Knows".
- One would think that Le'Veon Bell would benefit by actually signing his tender and showing up to camp. Being at team meetings and displaying himself as a team player would go a long way in helping to establish one's self as the present and future. It might possibly help loosen purse strings a tad. You know training camp for a guy as established as Bell would be an NFL version of Club Med.
- At this time last year, the Steelers offensive line depth had me like a man whose wife proposes a threesome with two other dudes but not him...deeply concerned. But in 2017, I feel OL depth could be a team strength. Besides the protection agency of Gilbert, DeCastro, Pouncey, Foster and Villanueva, having the piece of mind that guys like Chris Hubbard, Jerald Hawkins, B.J. Finney, Matt Feiler or Brian Mihalik could fill in, is a reassurance.
- Artie Burns is once again shadowing his initial-sake in camp, Antonio Brown. Although he's losing more battles than he wins...It will make him a better player. There's no better way for No. 25 to become a shutdown corner than spar with the best. It's kind of like when Screech joined the Bayside wrestling team and practiced with Slater, it made him a better wrestler. Ok maybe not.
- T.J Watt has benefited from offseason workouts with his brother J.J. His work ethic is said to be tremendous and he has definitely turned a lot of black and gold heads early in camp. Let's hope his commercials aren't nearly as dorky as big bros are.
- Bud Dupree will challenge for the Defensive Player if the Year Award. It may be an Iron City town, but Pittsburgh...This Bud's for you!
- I wonder what Rick Moser is doing these days.
Until next time, I think Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band sum up training camp best with lyrics from the title cut from their 1986 LP Like A Rock.
Stood there boldly
Sweatin' in the sun
Felt like a million
Felt like number one
The height of summer
I'd never felt that strong
Like a rock
Take that for what it's worth and Go Steelers.