With one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the Pittsburgh Steelers having just occurred, my black-and-gold mind is racing like a portly man learning that Golden Corral is almost out of steak for the night. As always, I feel compelled to pass the ravings on to you. But first, I must offer up apologies for any offense that was taken after my last submission. So instead of stuffing my turkey with Stovetop, I offer up remorse out to and for the following...
- Encouraging anybody to envision carnal relations between Colonel Sanders and Mrs. Buttersworth
- Coining the phrase, “humming like a dirty diaper in a Cuban safety deposit box”
- To me, for none of you recognizing the brilliance of a possible Snoop Dogg parody about past and present Steeler RBs called “Jim and Juice”
- Coy and Vance Duke
- The ghost of alleged arsonist Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes and her victim Andre Rison
- Alleging that Victor burnt down Cheryl’s She Shed.
- Comparing Jesse James to Kilinger from M*A*S*H
- The Commodores
And now for the latest edition of Random Thoughts from a Black-and-Gold Mind.
- Some teams need to play their “A game” in order to win certain games. Good teams need to play well in order to win certain games. Great teams can play ugly but still win. The Steelers aren’t sending 55 minutes of last week’s display to the Academy of Arts and Sciences for awards consideration, but they won and that tells you all you need to know about the great state of this Steeler team at this juncture.
- Much like they were enemies to themselves on Sunday, the Jaguars are officially enemies of Steeler Nation. Aside from the AFC North jackals of Baltimore, Cincinnati and Cleveland, the former AFC Central foes join New England in bad company as recipients of Steeler hatred.
- Last years team, or 2016’s version for that matter, couldn’t have pulled that game off.
- No. 26 or “He Who Shall Not Be Named” seriously gets my vote for Steelers Team MVP. I sincerely believe that his selfish chicanery really united these 53 men as a team of one, a band of brothers and a football family.
- Mike Tomlin’s chest-beating celebration while leaving TIAA Bank Field in Jacksonville was refreshing emotion from the coach that attempts to keep his hidden. It was the best football field exit celebration in street clothes since Judd Nelson’s John Bender executed it at the end of The Breakfast Club in 1985.
- Much like Hermione Granger was Muggle born, I am proud to be of deep Yinzer heritage. And I realize that as a card-carrier of pierogie-ocity, I recognize that a true trait of our ‘Burghness is to mispronounce things. I embrace it. However, I’m struggling with a certain, imperfect pronouncing of our Offensive Coordinator’s surname. I give credit for getting the “Randy” part right, but his last name is not sounded out as “fitch-ner”. As crazy and incomprehensible as it may be, it’s actually meant to be “feek-ner”. Work on this in your free time and you’ll surely astound your friends and family members with the victory that will be proper pronunciation of a man’s name.
- Now God help us...Olasunkanmi Adeniyi was cleared to practice this week.
- Santonio Holmes basically violated HIPAA in disclosing in an August radio interview that Antonio Brown carries the sickle cell trait. I get why AB delivered an angry “Is he a doctor?” response this week. Because of nonsense like this, we have an extra form at the real doctor’s office to fill out.
- Regardless of his alleged medical history, AB shouldn’t miss the contest on Sunday. No. 84 could be one of the 8% of African Americans to have the trait, but many aren’t hounded by any effects. Ryan Clark’s situation (that put this into light) was severe enough that playing could harm him extremely. Brown has suited up in Denver twice before.
- The Broncos have a coach in Vance Joseph who is operating much like George and Harry Bailey in the opening minutes of 1946’s It’s A Wonderful Life. Yes, he’s sledding on thin ice. A win against Pittsburgh would be the start of something big for a team that has only one imposing game (LA Chargers on 12/30) left on their slate.
- I wonder what Tyrone Carter doing these days.
Untill next time, I urge Santonio Holmes to ponder the significance of the poignant lyrics of the Go-Go’s and their 80s smash hit “Our Lips Are Sealed”.
There’s a weapon
That we must use
In our defense
When you look at them
Look right through them
That’s when they’ll disappear
That’s when we’ll be feared
It doesn’t matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed
Take that for what it’s worth, Don’t Stop Shalievin’ and Go Steelers.