clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

If Steeler fans want to praise his name, they better learn how to spell the “Conner” in James Conner

New, comments

Yes, like you, I love Steelers’ running back James Conner and think he will be something special. But can you do me a favor and stop spelling his last name wrong? It’s not that difficult.

NFL: Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers Philip G. Pavely-USA TODAY Sports

I get it, you really hate Le’Veon Bell, and you want to stick it to him every chance you get. And if heaping tons of praise on newly-minted (and historically productive) workhorse running back James Conner over and over again is how you want to go about it, I say just do it!

But can you do me a favor? Can you stop spelling Conner’s last name with an “o,” as in “James Connor is so much better than that bum Bell!”?

I mean, you almost always get the “Le’Veon” part of Bell’s name correct (remarkably). What’s so hard about “Conner”?

It isn’t like throwing shade at “Vontaz Burfect” any time Bengals’ inside linebacker—and the Keith Rivers portion of the Hines Ward crackback block costume Steelers’ receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster wore last Halloween when he went trick-or-treating (you just know JuJu still goes trick-or-treating)—Vontaze Burfict commits a heinous act on the football field.

It isn’t like showing disgust for Bill Belecheck whenever Patriots’ head coach Bill Belichick is compared to the legendary Chuck Noll.

It isn’t like you grew up outside of Pittsburgh, became a Steelers fan in 1997, and always refer to Noll as “Knoll” when defending his four Super Bowl titles while attempting to discredit Belecheat’s five.

This is simple stuff. It’s like knowing the difference between “lose” and “loose.” OK, bad example. Still, though, it’s pretty easy to get right after seeing the back of his jersey two or three times. Yet, just yesterday (whatever day yesterday winds up being), I saw Conner’s last name spelled “Connor” 213 times on BTSC, alone.

I agree with you, okay? I think James Conner is going to be something special for the Pittsburgh Steelers. I think he’s going to make us forget about Bell sooner rather than later. I think he’s going to ultimately reap the benefits of what Bell’s currently trying to accomplish, ironically enough, by receiving a fat contract after his rookie one is up in the spring of 2021.

As for James Connor? He sucks. He’s no good. He can’t hit the holes. He’s injury- prone. He’s slow. He was a wasted third-round pick.

James Conner, if he continues to rack up 100-yard/two-touchdown games, may soon earn a cameo on the Roseanne spin-off The Conners.

James Connor, if people keep spelling his name that way, may last in the NFL about as long as Sanford and Son spin-off Grady lasted on NBC.

Speaking of spin-offs, Conner is like 10 years away from being the longest-running spin-off character since Frasier Crane (you know, because he’ll make the leap from college star to professional star while never leaving the friendly confines of Heinz Field).

Kind of a stretch, that whole spin-off thing, but at least I didn’t spell Conner’s last name with an “o” while stretching to make a point.

Finally, God help us all if Olasunkanmi Adeniyi ever becomes the next legendary Steelers’ outside linebacker.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go proofread this article 37 times so I don’t have something thrown back in my face in an ironic twist of irony.