Random Thoughts from a Black and Gold Mind: Alphabet Edition (ABBA, Ben, Chuks and Draft)

The 2018 NFL Draft is now complete and Steelers fans, of course, are like many an ex-wife...never satisfied and pining for the next guy with a better Wonderlic and Mel Kiper’s approval. As always, my black-and-gold mind is volcanic with lava and lunacy, and I’m willing to pass the ravings on to you.

But first I need to offer up a second rounder and a first-round apology in 2019 for my Mayockial misgivings last time around.

So before my draft stick plummets more, a combine of cordial sorries goes to those I offended last time out for the following Mr. Irellevancies.

• Coining the phrase the “Suzanne Somers” treatment.
• Offering to adopt Le’Veon Bell.
• Making you picture Richard Simmons with tacos as his only source of nutrition.
• Not recogizing the child sitcom geniuses that were Danny Cooksey, Raven Symoné and Erika Alexander.
• Referencing Welcome Back Kotter sans a Gabe Kaplan shout out.

Now for the long-awaited edition (to no one but my editor) of Random Thoughts from a Black-and-Gold Mind.

• Ryan Shazier walks to the podium to announce the Steelers pick. I thanked the Heavens. Enough said.
• I’m starting to like this draft more and more, and I think it’s going to pay dividends. That’s one thing I don’t have in common with Ben Roethlisberger.
• Of course, Big Ben doesn’t want Mason Rudolph on the team over Landry Jones or Josh Dobbs. They are like Larry from Newhart. He was just fine with his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl. They weren’t threats to him. They didn’t speak. But what if George Clooney had joined the cast of the CBS classic? That would have been a sticky situation at the Stratford Inn, and I’m not talking about maple syrup. It’s going to be tacky in Steel City, as well.
• Terrell Edmunds is not a sexy pick, but I can envision him as a possible mainstay. Look, the Steeler brass had him higher on their boards then the talking heads. I’m not arguing with that.
• Again this year, Kevin Colbert is sticking with his high moral fiber diet when it comes to drafting players.
• James Washington has a most interesting build for a deep threat WR. You wouldn’t expect a guy with the body type of E.T. to be your guy on the fly, but Washington is a special threat.
• I think Pitt’s Quadree Henderson could very well make the 53 as an UDFA.

Photo by Justin Berl/Getty Images

• If they scheme Jaylen Samuels well, he could be a Swiss Army knife. I think if they get innovative with the NC State TE/HB/RB, the offense could be even more dangerous.
• What if Marcus Allen could mirror the football success of his namesake and his Godfather (Curtis Martin)? Playing in the shadows of those two HOFers will be a great feat for the PSU Safety.
• I don’t think the Steelers are done addressing the inside linebacker position. By releasing J.J. Wilcox some salary cap room is freed up, and I fully expect them to bring back Lawrence Timmons or entertain thoughts of Navorro Bowman. Those guys are just like me on a Saturday Night in the 80s...waiting by the phone. Although, I don’t think they’re watching Diff’rent Strokes, Silver Spoons and searching their dad’s room for his nudie mag stash.
• I’m hearing the Steelers brass and Mike Munchak are excited about the prospect of getting Chukwuma “Chuks” Okorafor into camp. However I think Kevin Colbert had an ulterior motive and just wanted to hear yinzers botch the pronunciation.
• Too bad Okorafor didn’t come along twenty years ago. It would have been fun to hear Myron give a go at “the dear Chuks”.
• Martavis Bryant had some rough mileage on him. Getting a third round pick, four years later, for a guy that cost a fourth, and was damaged goods, is an amazing ROI. If you thought they could get more out of Martavis, you’re mistaken.

And finally,

• I wonder what Dwight Stone is doing these days. Wait, I know. I caught up with him recently. He spent time after retirement as a police officer in Charlotte until his 2015 retirement. Absolute great guy.

Until next time, ponder the significance of the Swedish supergroup ABBA and what could be the theme of any draft, Take a Chance On Me.

If you change your mind, I’m the first in line

Honey I’m still free

Take a chance on me

If you need me, let me know, gonna be around

If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down

If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown

Honey I’m still free

Take a chance on me

Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie

If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me

(That’s all I ask of you honey)

Take a chance on me

Take that for what it’s worth, Go Steelers and Don’t Stop Shalievin’.